Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 369131 times)

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #100 on: February 05, 2007, 01:55:10 pm »
Eight Minutes

A flash of lightening and clap of thunder sounded as the sky opened, pounding the windshield like tomorrow and today would be washed away.

Ennis laid his head on the steering wheel.

Yesterday was all Ennis had.

125 words

I can picture that so perfectly!   :'(


All he could think of was, it would be like killing Jack all

over again to burn them cards,,,so he just put them back in the box, an

started back to riverton.  Well Jack,  "I swear,"

Damn, Janice - you really get me with your endings. 


Saturday morning, March 5th 1966
....Nothing the Lord had in heaven could be better than his time on Brokeback he thought. Ennis remained there for a moment no longer feeling the biting of the wind but the warmth of of his days spent at Brokeback.

Sigh.  That is so poignant.



But all Jack said was, “Ya got yer girls, Ennis, and yer job. I know ya can’t take anymore time off.”

Ennis nodded. “Yeah. That’s it.”

(185 words)


Ahh, Leslie.  That great chasm between what was in their hearts and minds and the reality of their lives.  So, so sad. 

Thank you, all - really beautiful writing.

Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline el_wing

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #101 on: February 05, 2007, 02:16:51 pm »
I like the results of this prompt best so far. The ending are all particularly good. ;)
Leaves turn over with the times,
The sun breaks each day with shines,
Hither awhile, then whither back--
It is life that people lack.
     ~el-wing

Offline Lumičre

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #102 on: February 05, 2007, 02:19:49 pm »
Wow .. awesome drabbles everyone!  :D


Offline Lumičre

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #103 on: February 05, 2007, 02:31:00 pm »
Lemme throw this in ...  :)
 

He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he struggled to concentrate on his driving.  He was a nervous wreck.  He'd quit smoking about three times that month, yet he'd always found a reason to go looking for another cigarette.  Sometimes it was Lureen, most times it was L.D., now this.  Jack momentarily looked away from the road as he reached for his 'emergency' pack of cigarettes hidden in the glove compartment.  He sighed in relief when he saw there were two left.

His eyes returned to the road as he smoked on a cigarette, his mind reverting once more to his dilemma.

'I don't know if I can actually go through with this,' he mumbled to himself. 'Shit.'

A drag from the cigarette.

'What does he expect me to do?  I been askin', even pleadin', yet he won't budge .. always fuckin' excuses.  The sumbitch!  I don't know why I keep torturin’ myself!'


Another drag from the cigarette.

Jack stopped at the ‘Lucky 8’ gas station outside town for a refill, he noticed a public telephone beside the checkout counter.  He dug into his pockets, pulled out a handful of coins, threw a couple in and dialed the familiar number, his hands trembling.

"Oh hey!  Ennis, it's me, Jack.  How you been?"  A little smile crept up on his face as he heard the familiar voice.  He listened in disbelief for a moment, his eyes wide. “Really??  Next Friday, hunh? And a week off too!  Damn cowboy, yer making an ol’ man very happy just now!  I’ll be there!” he beamed. “See you Friday .. yeah.. bye..”..

Jack sat in his truck a few moments later, his head against the steering wheel, a smile on his lips.  ‘Damn, I got it bad, after all these years. He utters few words and I get jelly knees.  Damn short fuckin’ leash he keeps me on, the sumbitch.  Guess this camping trip with Randall will have to wait.’

His mind at peace for a time, Jack turned his truck around, this time bound for Childress.


~343 words
« Last Edit: February 05, 2007, 03:58:19 pm by Lucise »


Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #104 on: February 05, 2007, 04:44:02 pm »
Jack hadn't seen the truck with the semitrailer. Hadn't seen it coming. He didn't know what had hit their car, what had happened and how. But he remembered the feeling, unreal, slow-motion like, and he saw what happened after the crash. He saw the street swirling around them, when in fact it was their vehicle spinning on the asphalt. He saw the edge of the street and the slope behind it coming closer. His eyes closed reflexively, as like they didn't want to see what followed.

The car slid down the slope, overturned a few times, finally laid still on its roof. It took him a moment to reorientate, then he untangled his limbs and looked after his passenger.

"Ennis?"

Ennis laid beside him. He looked fine, no blood to be seen. But he was too still. He didn't move, he didn't say anything, his eyes stayed closed.

"Ennis?"

Within a split second Jack panicked.

"ENNIS!"

The grunt he got in return from his man was the most beautiful sound Jack had heard in his life.


Eight weeks later, another truck hit another car at the exact same spot on Wesner's Creek Road. A whole family of five was extinguished.

When Jack read it, he dropped the newspaper, ignored Ennis' puzzled look and went to the bathroom. He looked closely at the little scar their accident had left on his temple.
Ennis followed a few minutes later. They embraced without words. Life was precious.


245 words
« Last Edit: February 05, 2007, 05:32:02 pm by Penthesilea »

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #105 on: February 05, 2007, 05:05:55 pm »
OMG! I absolute agree with el_wing. Today's drabbles are all very special.


Yesterday was all Ennis had.

You killed me ded here el_wing.


“When ya say things like that, ya twist the knife, Ennis. You don’t know how much it hurts.”


Do you know Leslie?

I've always been torn about canon pieces. Some are so damn good, I wouldn't want to miss them. But sometimes I feel like I already had enough heartbreak from Mrs. Proulx and don't want any more of it.
Some days I read canon, more days I avoid it like the plague. Does this make any sense?

Offline jpwagoneer1964

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #106 on: February 05, 2007, 05:06:50 pm »
Septemper 24, 1967

Jack took a drag from his cigarette looked at his watch ,the hands telling him it was just past 4:30. On the road since long before dawn the speedometer on his 1966 Ford F-100 pickup pointing well into the red line  that ran from 70 MPH to 120 most of the way. His stomach tied in knots, pulling tighter with each passing mile as he drew closer thinking what in the hell was he going to say to him, how would Ennis ...react...greet him. Passing a sign on HWY 26 Riverton 5 miles Jack popped open the glovebox taking out the AAA map of Riverton and Lender (they had to ordered it for the Childress branch office taking a week to come), spreading it's folds over the bench seat. Soon he would hit the first stoplight in Riverton, and drive the final few blocks of his four year journey.

You didn't think I could resist 'glovebox' did you?
Mark
« Last Edit: February 05, 2007, 05:58:43 pm by jpwagoneer1964 »
Thank you Heath and Jake for showing us Ennis and Jack,  teaching us how much they loved one another.

Offline el_wing

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #107 on: February 05, 2007, 05:21:57 pm »
Septemper 24, 1967

Jack took a drag from his cigarette looked at his watch ,the hands telling him it was just past 4:30. On the road since long before dawn the speedometer on his 1966 Ford F-100 pickup pointing well into the red zone that ran from 70 MPH to 120 most of the way. His stomach tied in knots, pulling tighter with each passing mile as he drew closer thinking what in the hell was he going to say to him, how would Ennis ...react...greet him. Passing a sign on HWY 26 Riverton 5 miles Jack popped open the glovebox taking out the AAA map of Riverton and Lender (they had to ordered it for the Childress branch office taking a week to come), spreading it's folds over the bench seat. Soon he would hit the first stoplight in Riverton, and drive the final few blocks of his four year journey.

You didn't think I could resist 'glovebox' did you?
Mark

Wow, these keep getting better and better. What I like about this one is how much the description and anticipation come togther like that AAA road map. Great writing.
Leaves turn over with the times,
The sun breaks each day with shines,
Hither awhile, then whither back--
It is life that people lack.
     ~el-wing

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #108 on: February 05, 2007, 05:35:11 pm »
Septemper 24, 1967

Jack took a drag from his cigarette looked at his watch ,the hands telling him it was just past 4:30. On the road since long before dawn the speedometer on his 1966 Ford F-100 pickup pointing well into the red zone that ran from 70 MPH to 120 most of the way. His stomach tied in knots, pulling tighter with each passing mile as he drew closer thinking what in the hell was he going to say to him, how would Ennis ...react...greet him. Passing a sign on HWY 26 Riverton 5 miles Jack popped open the glovebox taking out the AAA map of Riverton and Lender (they had to ordered it for the Childress





branch office taking a week to come), spreading it's folds over the bench seat. Soon he would hit the first stoplight in Riverton, and drive the final few blocks of his four year journey.

You didn't think I could resist 'glovebox' did you?
Mark

               Glovebox got you good...liked this a lot.



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Offline louisev

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #109 on: February 05, 2007, 08:59:02 pm »
Marathon read!

For the past week since this thread was formed I have heard about all of the great contributions here and so many people penning drabbles, and it really made me feel a whole lot better about my own productivity (in the BBM Fanfic department) slowing down, even though I could not read or contribute.  But - what a treat!

I am amazed and delighted at reading things by people I never even knew had a desire to write!  And to all of you I did not get to greet on your way in the door due to my Crazy February - welcome!  Welcome!
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”