Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 1237287 times)

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1130 on: April 21, 2007, 01:05:22 pm »
.  .  .

"Did you get the plates 'n silverware?"

"You mean the paper plates and plastic forks?"

"Oh Bobby....You know what I mean?" .  . .


.  .  . Mrs. twist is especially excited to be attending this year when her two young men.  .  .  . .


 . . .Neither would remember the others voice when they awoke in the morning  but would remember their dreams. .  .  .

Mark, you really outdid yourself with this.  For some reason the bit about the "silverware"  struck me as funny and real - just the kind of little exchanges that I can imagine between Bobby and his Grandma Twist. Having Ennis present is not only great for Bobby - it has to be such a comfort to Mrs. Twist - "..her two young men..."  And my favorite part - sweet Jack guiding them both ..... :)


(Sometimes I just don't know. But oh well, here goes....)
.  .  .
It was a snapshot, in faded color.  Ennis walked towards the door to see it in better light.  There were two young men.  One was surely Tom, a much younger Tom, and the other looked just like the boy.  They both were smiling but looked serious too.  Ennis put it back between the books.  As open as Tom was there was so much he didn’t know about him.  .  .  .   

Well, you might not know sometimes, Marl - but your instincts sure do.  Ennis's thoughts about Tom are just what I was thinking - there seem to be a lot of intertwining puzzles.  I also appreciate the ways you demonstrate Ennis's grieving process - up and down, waxing and waning - but ever-present.


.  .  .
"Don't ya worry none....if this ol' truck a'n survive your daddy drivin' it, it live thru anythin'"

"Pop?....he drove this truck?"

"A time or two...think it was the only time he drove a shift since that old black pickup he use ta  have....stalled it all the time...." Ennis smiled back at him, both braking into laughter.  By they time the arrived at Lightning Flat, Ennis having him do countless stop and starts, Bobby was fit to drive anything.  .  . 

Hey, great timing, Mark.  I was just about to post.  This is great - Bobby driving Ennis's truck and learning that his dad did too.  I enjoyed Ennis's lesson - (I can't drive a stick, either! LOL!  My husband gave me a brief lesson once  :-\ - maybe I needed Ennis to teach me!)

Thanks!
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline Lumière

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1131 on: April 21, 2007, 02:00:52 pm »
Hello drabble lovers.  My dabble... :)


I’m not alone..

October 1984

Alma Jr. stirred the thick soup that was starting to simmer on the gas burner.  She washed the two enamel bowls she found sitting in the sink and dried them with a clean cloth.  She looked over at him, sitting in that old armchair, fumbling with his pocket radio.  A smile crossed her lips.

“Dad, I can’t believe ya still have that radio.  I remember the Christmas Ma bought it for ya..” she said, ladling beef barley soup into the clean bowls.

“Still got it and it still works.  Batteries kinda low now though..” he looked up from the little black radio and smiled as she brought over the steaming bowls of soup and a plate of biscuits, neatly arranged on a tray. 

“After this, it’ll be pie for dessert..” she looked at him with bright eyes and placed the tray on the little table; they both dug in.

She had been wondering how to broach the subject all evening.  She knew how much he liked to be left alone; maybe that was just the problem.  She sipped her coffee and watched as he enjoyed a second helping of rhubarb and cherry pie.  He looked happy and relaxed; now was the time.. She cleared her throat.

“Daddy, um, I’d like us to talk about a few things..” she started.

“Course darlin’…What dya wanna talk about?” he ate the last forkful of pie on his plate and rubbed his belly happily.  “Yer a fantastic cook, Alma.  Jus’ like ya Ma was.. You’ve sure spoiled me tonight.. Thank you darlin’..”

She felt a lump growing in her throat, “Um, Daddy.. Kurt and I have talked about this and we’d like you to move to town, stay with us for a while.  That way I can look after ya better, make sure yer eating well and … well, ya’ll have someone to talk to whenever ya want..”  She took a deep breath, “I worry about ya being alone in this trailer, no friends, nobody around..” her eyes were starting to well up with tears.  He lowered his head for a moment and said nothing.

“Don’t worry about me darlin’, I take care of myself …and … I’m not alone in this trailer..” he said in a low voice; his eyes resting on the little closet against the wall..

(To be continued..)


Offline cwby30

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Re: Ennis and Bobby
« Reply #1132 on: April 21, 2007, 03:57:28 pm »
Afternoon, Mark.

Another great one.  Glad you have continued to add to this story line.  Ennis is doing things for Jack as well as for Bobby, teaching Bobby the things he didn't have the time to do...time ran out...and being a solid man in Bobby's life, talking to him like a man, treating him like a man, and not like a kid.  Also, he is doing something for himself.  Truly a win-win-win situation for all. 

Like the pictures from the movie that you add at the end of each one.  Gives a visual to the story. 

Thanks again. 

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1133 on: April 21, 2007, 04:39:59 pm »
The Pictures

...
Ennis looked out the window, at the trees passing by them.  He wanted it to help, but again these past few days, nothing seemed to help at all.


Oh my. *sad sigh*

I like the overall mood of the Tom story; it has a quiet, unagitated quality to it. Looking forward to more.



"Don't ya worry none....if this ol' truck c'n survive your daddy drivin' it, it live thru anythin'"

"Pop?....he drove this truck?"

"A time or two...think it was the only time he drove a shift since that old black pickup he use ta  have....stalled it all the time...." Ennis smiled back at him, both braking into laughter.  By they time the arrived at Lightning Flat, Ennis having him do countless stop and starts, Bobby was fit to drive anything.


I loved this last part.



“Don’t worry about me darlin’, I take care of myself …and … I’m not alone in this trailer..” he said in a low voice; his eyes resting on the little closet against the wall..

I liked the exchange between the two in this one. Very close to the mood in the movie. "Daddy, you need more furniture" - "You don't got nothing, then you don't need nothing."

Offline Cameron

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1134 on: April 21, 2007, 05:45:42 pm »
The Ride in the Dark

(August 1985)
They drove home in the darkness.  The radio was playing, an old transistor radio that Tom used in the truck, because the one in the truck was broken.  They listened to sad country songs, all about lovers fighting and lovers leaving.  Every so often a gentle voice would come on the radio, urging you to buy some more beer.

Ennis was between sleep and wakefulness, between dreams and reality during the long car ride in the darkness.  He kept his hand in his jacket pocket.  He was in the truck with Tom, then the boy was there too.  But then he was in the old apartment, taking care of Alma Jr. and Jenny, both sick with the chicken pox.  He was with Jack, and then he was with a man who he did not know, a man that he could not recognize.  The man was kissing him and beginning to take of his clothes.  Ennis pulled himself away, his heart was beating so fast, but the man would not let him go.

Ennis was jolted again by a sudden stop.  The strange man was not there, just Tom, looking at him with a little smile on his face.

“Wow, that must have been some dream” Tom said.

“I don’t know, why did ya stop?” Ennis asked.  “Where are we?”

“Wanted to make sure you were okay, you were practically screaming.”

“I was?” Ennis said, confused.  He looked outside the window, there was just a blurry darkness.  He opened the door and got out.  They had stopped next to a field of barley, blowing in the night time breeze.

He took deep breaths of the cool night air.  He touched the picture again, it was still there. Ennis looked up at the sky.  The stars were all covered with the clouds but a part of the moon was shining through.

Tom was soon next to him and he put his arm around him.  He whispered into Ennis’s ear “I worry about you, Lord I just wish I could know what was really goin’ on.  I wish you were happy, I wish I could make you happy.”

The barley was whimpering and rustling in front of them.  Ennis felt Tom’s breath.  Then he felt his lips, on his face and on his neck.  Ennis turned towards him.  He could feel Tom’s lips on his mouth, his arms tightly around him.  Ennis wrapped his arms around Tom’s firm waist and he let Tom reach inside him.  He could feel the metal frame of the picture between their bodies, pressed together by the darkness.  He could feel Tom’s hands all over.  Ennis wanted it to be enough, he wanted it to be what he needed.

But they both pulled away.  They got back into the truck and drove again in the darkness, listening to the sad songs on the radio.




Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1135 on: April 21, 2007, 07:09:55 pm »

I’m not alone..
October 1984 .  .  .

(To be continued..)   

I'm glad you told us - definitely want to see where this is headed. 


.  . I like the overall mood of the Tom story; it has a quiet, unagitated quality to it.  .  . 

"Quite, unagitated quality" - yeah, that's a good description, Chrissi.


.  .  .They got back into the truck and drove again in the darkness, listening to the sad songs on the radio. 

That's exactly how this made me feel - sad.  I don't think Ennis is done with his journey yet, though ... I hope not? 

Thanks, all
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline jpwagoneer1964

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1136 on: April 21, 2007, 09:08:56 pm »
Ennis stood by nervously, the radio on the credenza playing 'I'll Always Love You'., looking on as Scott begins to trim  Jack's hair.

"So you fellas known each other a long time?"

Ennis feelling a little uncomfortable looks down.

"Yep sure have!" Jack rang back. "Fact is that's why we's here...Twenty five years this very day!....accordin' ta Ennis here."

"Sure is something!....you both must have been pretty young when you met!"

"We.....we wuz both 19 when we...we met up." Ennis timidly spoke up. "Jack here...he's ah got a couple o' months on me..... And he sure is ah startin' ta  show it!" Livening up. "Lookie here!" Ennis poking through Jack's hair. "Got a gray hair right here....and another here!....." Then moving his hand to Jack's neck. "Startin ta get these here lines on the back o' his neck....."

Jack reaching out from behind the smock slap Ennis's hand out of the way causing him to hit himself in the face with his own hand.

"See th kinda things Ah gotta put up with?" Ennis said, looking at Scott.


Insert to CH3 "SHIRTS..."

Thank you Heath and Jake for showing us Ennis and Jack,  teaching us how much they loved one another.

Offline Cameron

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1137 on: April 21, 2007, 11:31:52 pm »
M,

That was great, looking forward to the rest.

Marie and Chrissie and M,

Thank you so much as always. :)
 I don't think the journey is finished either ;)

Marl
« Last Edit: April 22, 2007, 12:31:42 am by Cameron »



Offline haunted_by_bbm

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1138 on: April 21, 2007, 11:49:07 pm »
Making Up  (Follow up to “The Fight”)



Somewhere in an AU world…
12:13 a.m.   



Jack didn’t move from his spot on the window seat, both legs pulled up tight, arms wrapped around them snugly, his forlorn chin resting on his knees.  The old radio was playing in the corner, some corny love song from the 60’s barely registering on Jack’s brain.   

Jack held his breath and waited, contemplating getting up, weighing the option of stopping Ennis in the kitchen, before the man went back to the bedroom with his midnight snack.

The shadow was looming over him before Jack even had a chance to rise. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”   

“Brought you some beef with barley soup.  You like this one, don’t ya?”   

Jack nodded.   

“You didn’t eat much earlier…when we was…well…I think the wall kinda got most of our supper before…” Ennis grimaced, shrugging his shoulders. 

Jack chuckled.  “Yeah, think so too.”

Ennis sat at the other end of the window seat, folding his left leg underneath him, letting his right leg dangle, and handed the steaming bowl to Jack. 

“You aint brought me soup since I was sick with the chicken pox a year ago December.  Remember that?”

“How could I forget?  You was sick as a dog.  Shit.  I thought only kids was supposed to get the chicken pox?”

“Yeah, well, nothin’ never come to me the right way.  Always ass-backwards.”  Jack chuckled, taking a large spoonful of the steaming soup.  “Damn, this is good.”  Jack sighed.  “Hungry after all.” 

“Thought so.”  Ennis smiled softly.

“How ‘bout you?  You hungry, cowboy?”  Jack held out the spoon, ready to share the meal.

“Oh, yeah, Bud.  I’m hungry.” Ennis replied, voice going a notch deeper.  “Why don’t you hurry up with that there soup, so I can show you just how hungry I am.”     

Jack spilled half the soup to the floor, unable to move it out of the way fast enough. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(306 Words)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry, Lucise, I realize this isn't very 'heated.'  I need more than 300 words to make it really steamy.  But the soup is nice and warm.   ;)   lol     ;D
C*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 


« Last Edit: April 21, 2007, 11:56:44 pm by haunted_by_bbm »
"The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap.  Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent, Jack blowing forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts..." – Annie Proulx

Offline jpwagoneer1964

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #1139 on: April 22, 2007, 10:21:36 am »
How about these for today.
 
  • salt
  • nightstand
  • sunrise


Mark
Thank you Heath and Jake for showing us Ennis and Jack,  teaching us how much they loved one another.