Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 1178165 times)

Offline Penthesilea

  • Town Administration
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,745
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #280 on: February 19, 2007, 10:46:01 am »
“Where in the hell you was!?”, said Ennis angrily, as he saw Jack pulling over and getting off the truck. “I thought something happened to ya?.
“I’m sorry, Ennis. I’m very sorry. I got held up helping Bobby with some homework.”
“Homework?”
“Yeah he needed to do some shit for his geography class and had to spent half the afternoon helping write a composition about Hungary. And Lureen had some meeting with some fucking client so I had to do it. I just left home too late. Sorry cowboy.”
“Hungary, huh”, Ennis replied softly.
“Yeah, sorry boy.”
They hugged each other mightily, Ennis taking deep breaths, as Jack searched for a kiss which Ennis didn’t deny.
“Come on cowboy”, said Ennis. “Dinner is almost done.”
“Great. I’m starving” said Jack, with a big grin in his face.

397 words


Great minds think alike Natali  :). A homework for Bobby was one of the plot bunnies I had for Hungary, too.

I liked your drabble. It plays with a thought that also crossed my mind (and some discussions here) before: They had no possibility to cancel or delay a meeting on short notice. At least Jack had no possibility to reach Ennis by phone.
When one of them was late, they had to wait it out.

Offline Penthesilea

  • Town Administration
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 14,745
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #281 on: February 19, 2007, 11:01:09 am »

“I know ya wanna get going to camp but can we stop somewhere I’m hungary”   Jack looked up into the face of the man-boy that he loved, the now rheumy eyes deep enough to get lost in.  “Sure…sure we can,” he said, and smiled.

 ;D :laugh: ;D Playing with the typo here  ;D

Language question: "...now rheumy eyes..." Rheumy? I looked it up in my online dictionary. It says rheum is a synonym to phlegm or slime. Not very inviting to get lost in.... ::)

Offline opinionista

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,939
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #282 on: February 19, 2007, 11:34:56 am »
Great minds think alike Natali  :). A homework for Bobby was one of the plot bunnies I had for Hungary, too.

I liked your drabble. It plays with a thought that also crossed my mind (and some discussions here) before: They had no possibility to cancel or delay a meeting on short notice. At least Jack had no possibility to reach Ennis by phone.
When one of them was late, they had to wait it out.

Thanks Chrissi!  :D
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. -Mark Twain.

Offline opinionista

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 2,939
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #283 on: February 19, 2007, 11:36:10 am »

“I know ya wanna get going to camp but can we stop somewhere I’m hungary”    Jack looked up into the face of the man-boy that he loved, the now rheumy eyes deep enough to get lost in.  “Sure…sure we can,” he said, and smiled.

LOL. That was funny Scott!
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. -Mark Twain.

Offline ifyoucantfixit

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 8,049
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #284 on: February 19, 2007, 01:50:39 pm »
        Jack and Ennis slouch in front of the old TV that is in Don Wroes

cabin...  The set is snowy with a tiny black and white screen..  They

are smoking cigarettes in the throes of post coital relaxation.

        The television is explaining how it is the 11th anniversary of the

Hungarian revolution.  They tell how the Uprising was crushed by the

Russians, and now they are tightening down the grip of their

occupation, over all the eastern European countries.

        Ennis says "wow, its been that long already," seem like it was only

a couple of years ago, don"t it."  "Seems like them danged Russians

been real busy in the last few years.  What ya' think they are aimin ta

do."  "Take over the whole damned world?"  "Donno, Jack." "It ain't

somethin i really wanna git inta  jus now if ya don"t mind."

       "I would much rather get busy with you, than givin anymore

thoughts, to people over there jus now."  "Wow Ennis

what ya got in mind?"  "Well I may start with this,, here,

Ennis snuffs out the butt of his cigarette."  He leans into Jack and

kisses him on the lower neck.  He then says " and meybe a little of

that"  As he moves forward to his lovers ear.  "Then we'll just have to

see where it goes pal."  Jack smiles, his big, corners of the mouth

grin..saying" I don't know what you doing, but, I do like the direction

yer goin."  "Maybe i can take you over, too Rodeo."  "Maybe, if ya

keep doing that." "An play yer cards right."

« Last Edit: February 19, 2007, 05:45:23 pm by ifyoucantfixit »



     Beautiful mind

Offline haunted_by_bbm

  • Brokeback Mountain Resident
  • ****
  • Posts: 196
  • "didn't know we was gonna get into this again..."
    • Panels of the Dream: Brokeback Mountain Stories
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #285 on: February 19, 2007, 02:53:10 pm »
"What in hell is *this*?"

"That's goulash."

"Jack, I've eaten goulash before. And *this* sure doesn't look the slightest bit like goulash."

"It's original Hungarian goulash. I read about it in a magazine and thought I'd try it. Bobby's new girlfriend is from Hungary. They'll come over tonight."

"Uh-uh."

************************************

"Hi dad. Hi Ennis. This is Francesca."

"Francesca?"

"Welcome Francesca. Nice to meet you. Bobby told us you're from Hungary."

"Hello Mr. Twist, Mr. Del Mar. I'm from Italy, actually."

"Oh! Spaghetti would have been eaiser."

"Dad?"

"Never mind. Come on, have a seat. Food will be ready any minute. We'll be right back."

****************************************

"Don't you dare to laugh."

"Nope. I won't."

A giggle.

"Ennis!"

More giggles, barely restrained now.

"Spaghetti would have been easier! Have you seen the poor girl's face? She must think you're totally nuts. And you know what? She got that right."

Ennis was laughing hard now, wiping tears from his face.

"Asshole. We'll just eat the goulash alone. You can see what you'll eat."

"C'mon here." Ennis grabbed Jack by the waist and pulled him close, still smiling broadly. "Tell you what. This Hungarian goulash is better than any spaghetti sauce you ever made."


199 words

LOL   That was so great!   So funny and well written.  I can see all their faces as I read this one.   LOL    Great job!

C* 
"The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap.  Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent, Jack blowing forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts..." – Annie Proulx

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #286 on: February 19, 2007, 07:14:02 pm »

"Hi dad. Hi Ennis. This is Francesca."

"Francesca?"

"Welcome Francesca. Nice to meet you. Bobby told us you're from Hungary."

"Hello Mr. Twist, Mr. Del Mar. I'm from Italy, actually."

"Oh! Spaghetti would have been eaiser."

"Dad?"

"Never mind. Come on, have a seat. Food will be ready any minute. We'll be right back."

199 words

Priceless dialogue!   :laugh:


Jack was very late this time. They agreed to meet at 9 am on Thursday on the parking lot closer to the campsite, and by 5 pm, he still hadn’t arrived. Ennis had busied himself all day long preparing the camp, making sure they had enough wood to keep the fire going. He even picked some wild flowers to put it inside the tent, something he had never done before. After he was done, he went out on a ride on his mare, first riding fast, then slow to enjoy the views, looking for elks to hunt since the last time they couldn’t due to the rain.

.    .     .


I love Jack - putting wildflowers in the tent - and helping Bobby with his "Hungary" homework!  That was great.



“I know ya wanna get going to camp but can we stop somewhere I’m hungary”   Jack looked up into the face of the man-boy that he loved, the now rheumy eyes deep enough to get lost in.  “Sure…sure we can,” he said, and smiled.

245 words

This is me when I see that Scott wrote a drabble:   :D  Loved that line about "electric charge" - and this ending was so funny, sweet and clever.



 "Maybe i can take you over, too Rodeo."  "Maybe, if ya

keep doing that." "An play yer cards right."


Great use of the prompt, Janice - and I really liked the flow of that conversation and where it ended up!

Thanks, all  --- Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline jpwagoneer1964

  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • ******
  • Posts: 1,720
  • Me and my 1951 DeSoto Suburban
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #287 on: February 19, 2007, 11:08:12 pm »
Ennis thinking if he could say to Jack:
This is what I live for Jack, spending these few weeks a year up with you up here in the mountians. Just you and me, no one else around, sitting by the campfire, cooking our meals, layin' in the sun, holdin' you while we sleep. Never even been in the mountians before I been with you. Makes it all worth it Jack, all them long days workin' at the ranch, just waitin' till I can see you next. And every time your already here, all set up just waitin' fer me, big smile on yer face, arms open wide, holdin' me tight till we almost can't breathe.
Thank you Heath and Jake for showing us Ennis and Jack,  teaching us how much they loved one another.

Offline ifyoucantfixit

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 8,049
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #288 on: February 19, 2007, 11:19:05 pm »



   very sweet and poinant, Mark, and love the picture...



     Beautiful mind

Offline mariez

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,084
  • "you bet"
Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #289 on: February 20, 2007, 08:08:45 am »
.     .     .

“Hungary!”

“Great job, buddy. Now the next one.” Damn, why won’t she agree about getting him a tutor? Smart as spurs, he is.

Aww, this was so touching!


Ennis thinking if he could say to Jack:
This is what I live for Jack, spending these few weeks a year up with you up here in the mountians. Just you and me, no one else around, sitting by the campfire, cooking our meals, layin' in the sun, holdin' you while we sleep. Never even been in the mountians before I been with you. Makes it all worth it Jack, all them long days workin' at the ranch, just waitin' till I can see you next. And every time your already here, all set up just waitin' fer me, big smile on yer face, arms open wide, holdin' me tight till we almost can't breathe.


Yes, that is exactly what I imagine Ennis thinking - and the picture is beautiful.

Thanks!
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain