Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 421779 times)

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #410 on: February 27, 2007, 09:39:35 pm »
.  .  .
   The alpine circe stayed with him just out of sight... all that day, he felt it's cool... its calm, until he laid his head down at the night and was there again. 
.   .  .


Hi, TH!  It's great to see you here.  What a lovely, lyrical quality to your writing!

.  .  .
   Coming out of one of the dozes, Ennis - not usually good with words, said...  "Your passion feeds my body, but your presence feeds my soul".

   "Why, you silver tongued devil you!"

   "That's how it is, isn't it Jack?"

   "Yeah... En... That's how it is for us."

Yes,  Body & Soul - Jack & Ennis.


. . .
"I'll always love ya, En."

"K..." 

   Jack never saw the tears on Ennis' face.  Ennis never saw Jack silently mouthe... "Always."


Oh, man - this just kills me!  Three beautiful drabbles - hope we see many more.


The Grieving Plain ..
.  .  .
What he wouldn't have given to see his face again:
There was not enough silver or gold in the world,
There were not enough tears he could shed ..
Nothing could bring him back.
"Forgive me, lil darlin' .. " he whispered,
His eyes resting once more on the tiny house on the ranch ..


Lucise, you are an incredible talent - a poet and an artist.  Your words and your pics are amazing.

Thanks,
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline MaineWriter

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #411 on: February 28, 2007, 07:39:15 am »
We had some new drabblers join us yesterday, including TH. Welcome!

For today, let's see what these prompts inspire:

  • mud season
  • crimson
  • The Beatles

L
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Offline MaineWriter

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #412 on: February 28, 2007, 09:54:50 am »

Sunday, February 9, 1964, 8 pm
Riverton, WY

“Ennis, you want ta watch Ed Sullivan?”

“Sure, I don’t care.”

Alma tuned the small black and white TV and adjusted the rabbit ears, trying to make the grainy, snowy picture come in more clearly.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Beatles!

“What the fuck are the Beatles?”

“It’s a new band…from England I think.”

“Why are all those girls screamin’? Can’t hear em singin’.”

“Hush, Ennis…”

All my loving, I will give to you….All my loving, darlin’, I’ll be true…

“What’re they wearin’? Lookit those skinny pants.”

“They’re just suits. Lookit the one on the right. He’s kinda cute.”

“Ain’t my type.”

Alma giggled. “You got a type Ennis?”

“Mebbe…and he ain’t it.”

There were birds…on the hill…but I never heard them singing…

“That’s a pretty song,” said Alma, leaning into the circle of Ennis’s arm.

“They got long hair. What’re they, fags or somethin’?”

“Ennis! It’s just the fashion. Don’t go assumin’ that just ‘cause they got long hair, they’re queer.”

“I ain’t queer.”

Alma looked at her husband, her features puzzled. “A course you ain’t! What a strange thing ta say!”

And when I touch you…I feel happy inside…It's such a feelin’ that my love…I can’t hide, I can’t hide, I can’t hide…

“Not sure I like these guys. Lil too weird for me.”

“I like em. I like their singin’.”

“I like the guy with the spinnin’ plates. Now there’s some high class entertainment.”

Alma gave him a little poke. “Oh, Ennis, yer so silly.” She turned her face and looked up into his eyes. “I love you.”

Ennis looked at her, then turned his attention back to the TV, words unspoken.

She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah…She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah… And with a love like that…You know you should be glad.

(304 words)

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Scott6373

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #413 on: February 28, 2007, 10:51:13 am »
Crimson:  the bowl was stained.  She didn’t need to worry any longer than it took her to push the handle.  In a swish of water, her new life had begun.  The passing of the last four days had been agony.  Despite the presence of love, the inevitability of her current situation crashed upon her perpetually slumped shoulders.  Should she stay?  That was always the question, and finally, upon receiving her answer from some ethereal source she would never comprehend, real life intruded once again, and the promise of new life shifted from her own, to the one growing in her belly.  A moment of reminiscence allowed this to happen.  Perhaps it was hope; perhaps it was ignorance once more.

Never one to celebrate death in any form, she was dismayed at the feeling of exhilaration that coursed up from her now empty womb.  She stood and regarded the face of the woman in the mirror.  Still young enough, she thought, and there was at least one man in Wyoming that found her attractive enough to crave.  Though she feared what this new one would crave, she finally admitted that whatever form his desire would take, it must be more to her benefit than what she had grown disappointingly accustomed to. 

The smell of dinner brought her back to her place.  It brought her back to the bathroom in the shabby apartment:  The living room with the stains on the carpet:  The children’s room with the broken bed frames quickly becoming a hazard as the girls outgrew them:  Her bedroom, not their bedroom, where she felt invaded on a nightly basis, until he decided to start sleeping on the faded floral sofa, twenty feet away.

She shook her head slightly and quickly to regain her focus.  She took one last glance at the bowl where the burial took place and her new life had sprung forth.  A tiny spot caught her eye.  With economical and pragmatic movement, she wiped the small spot off the porcelain with a scrap of tissue.  Crimson.

She heard the screen door slam, but no call of love followed.  Heaving in oxygen, she left the bathroom to complete the only task, the only option, which remained for her.

“Ennis, I want a divorce.”  She turned from her husband, and never looked back.



385 words

Scott6373

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #414 on: February 28, 2007, 11:05:49 am »
Ennis looked at her, then turned his attention back to the TV, words unspoken.

She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah…She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah… And with a love like that…You know you should be glad.

Really, really well done!  Brava.

Offline opinionista

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #415 on: February 28, 2007, 12:10:10 pm »
Leslie, what a great drabble. I loved the idea of bringing The Beatles into the picture.
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. -Mark Twain.

Offline opinionista

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #416 on: February 28, 2007, 12:12:18 pm »
Crimson:  the bowl was stained.  She didn’t need to worry any longer than it took her to push the handle.  In a swish of water, her new life had begun.  The passing of the last four days had been agony.  Despite the presence of love, the inevitability of her current situation crashed upon her perpetually slumped shoulders.  Should she stay?  That was always the question, and finally, upon receiving her answer from some ethereal source she would never comprehend, real life intruded once again, and the promise of new life shifted from her own, to the one growing in her belly.  A moment of reminiscence allowed this to happen.  Perhaps it was hope; perhaps it was ignorance once more.

Never one to celebrate death in any form, she was dismayed at the feeling of exhilaration that coursed up from her now empty womb.  She stood and regarded the face of the woman in the mirror.  Still young enough, she thought, and there was at least one man in Wyoming that found her attractive enough to crave.  Though she feared what this new one would crave, she finally admitted that whatever form his desire would take, it must be more to her benefit than what she had grown disappointingly accustomed to. 

The smell of dinner brought her back to her place.  It brought her back to the bathroom in the shabby apartment:  The living room with the stains on the carpet:  The children’s room with the broken bed frames quickly becoming a hazard as the girls outgrew them:  Her bedroom, not their bedroom, where she felt invaded on a nightly basis, until he decided to start sleeping on the faded floral sofa, twenty feet away.

She shook her head slightly and quickly to regain her focus.  She took one last glance at the bowl where the burial took place and her new life had sprung forth.  A tiny spot caught her eye.  With economical and pragmatic movement, she wiped the small spot off the porcelain with a scrap of tissue.  Crimson.

She heard the screen door slam, but no call of love followed.  Heaving in oxygen, she left the bathroom to complete the only task, the only option, which remained for her.

“Ennis, I want a divorce.”  She turned from her husband, and never looked back.



385 words


Scott, yours was also very good. I could really imagine Alma's frustration and feelings that led her to finally divorce Ennis. Good one.
Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. -Mark Twain.

Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #417 on: February 28, 2007, 12:25:19 pm »
Director’s camera technique:
unobtrusive as snowflakes peering over shoulders
listening, watching
capturing quicksilver acting

Wow, goadra - I don't think I've seen a drabble take that angle before - loved that!

.   .  .  

   He took to stopping up close to the horses and putting his cheek on their necks... and just standing quiet with them.  They comforted him and he wondered if it was odd that horses would be a man's best friends.  


TH, what a prolific drabbler you are.  These were all great.  I always love to read about Ennis and his horses.


Really, really well done!  Brava.

I second that.  Just brilliant, Leslie.


Crimson:  the bowl was stained.  She didn’t need to worry any longer than it took her to push the handle.  In a swish of water, her new life had begun.  . . .
 .....
She shook her head slightly and quickly to regain her focus.  She took one last glance at the bowl where the burial took place and her new life had sprung forth.  A tiny spot caught her eye.  With economical and pragmatic movement, she wiped the small spot off the porcelain with a scrap of tissue.  Crimson.

She heard the screen door slam, but no call of love followed.  Heaving in oxygen, she left the bathroom to complete the only task, the only option, which remained for her.

“Ennis, I want a divorce.”  She turned from her husband, and never looked back.

Damn, Scott.  I am so profoundly moved - by the words I've just read and by the gift you've been given.  Damn.

Thanks, all.
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain

Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #418 on: February 28, 2007, 03:32:57 pm »
        Ennis is making the trip to the outer pasture.  He has deep ruts in the
trail, to follow.  The mud is nearly up to the axels on the truck.  The mess
is never to be ignored.  It windes its way into every item it contacts.  The equipment, and the stock.  It makes its slimey way into the edges of your
jeans, as it works its way over the tops of boots and shoes.  Even the
horses, have the ungainly mess attached to their hooves and legs.
        There seems to be no escape from the mire it creates.  It makes him
long for the Spring and Summer.  The time of new life and color.  The
brightly painted flowers of the Spring, and the busy Ants and Beatles of  summers warmth.  They seem to hurry along unbothered on their daily
jobs.  They hunt and gather.  Among the crimson buds, and golden flowers and straw.  It is a time of living and growing.  Not this time of backbreakin slime, and calamity.
                  
« Last Edit: February 28, 2007, 03:36:32 pm by ifyoucantfixit »



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Offline mariez

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #419 on: February 28, 2007, 06:41:26 pm »
        Ennis is making the trip to the outer pasture.  He has deep ruts in the
trail, to follow.  The mud is nearly up to the axels on the truck.  The mess
is never to be ignored.  It windes its way into every item it contacts.  The equipment, and the stock.  It makes its slimey way into the edges of your
jeans, as it works its way over the tops of boots and shoes.  Even the
horses, have the ungainly mess attached to their hooves and legs.
        There seems to be no escape from the mire it creates.  It makes him
long for the Spring and Summer.  The time of new life and color.  The
brightly painted flowers of the Spring, and the busy Ants and Beatles of  summers warmth.  They seem to hurry along unbothered on their daily
jobs.  They hunt and gather.  Among the crimson buds, and golden flowers and straw.  It is a time of living and growing.  Not this time of backbreakin slime, and calamity.
                  

Janice, your descriptions are terrific!  I especially like your use of the word "mire" - a perfect choice for the drabble - and a metaphor for Ennis's life.

Thanks,
Marie
The measure of a country's greatness is its ability to retain compassion in times of crisis         ~~~~~~~~~Thurgood Marshall

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.    ~~~~~~~~~ Mark Twain