Lazy L Farm
Quanah, TX
Sometimes late in the evening, usually after Jack had gone to bed, Ennis would pull out some of Hal’s old “physique” magazines. He didn’t find the pictures particularly erotic but it gave him a connection to Hal, thinking of him, sitting in this same living room, looking at the same images that Hal had, many years before.
Ennis pulled one off the shelf, noticing the date was October, 1960. It had a drawing by Tom of Finland on the cover. He had come to recognize Tom’s style…handsome men with stylized hair, broad shoulders, molded asses. “I suppose it’s sorta sexy,” Ennis thought, but really wasn’t convinced.
He turned the page to a picture of a man straddling a motorcycle and saw a piece of paper, tightly folded and tucked in the crease. Puzzled, Ennis pulled it out. It was a letter, written in pencil.
October 17, 1963
Dear Hal,
I’m leaving today. We said our goodbyes last night and I guess that means I won’t be seeing you again, won’t be back next summer. I don’t suppose we’ll talk on the phone, gotta make it a clean break.
But I wanted to tell you something, and I am putting it here because I know you like this picture. Hopefully you’ll see this. It might not be for a few weeks or months but that doesn’t matter. I guess I have all the time in the world now.
I love you, Hal. I’ll always love you, I know that. Til the day I die. I am breaking my own heart because I can’t find the courage to live with you. I’m sorry Hal. You’re a better man than me. You deserve better than me. Maybe you’ll find him.
My heart is yours,
Pete
Ennis refolded the paper and put it back in the magazine. “I ain’t lookin’ at this one again,” he thought, as he headed upstairs to his sleeping lover.
(324 words)