Author Topic: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!  (Read 369774 times)

Offline Lumière

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #500 on: March 03, 2007, 09:10:41 pm »
Wow ..so many drabbles to check out today! 
Here is my contribution:  :)



Complete communion ..


The picture remained vivid in his memory:
Above, the sky was blue and clear
The brass sun shining down with pride.
He sat still up on the hill top
Amidst the swaying blades of wild grass.
His eyes scanned the lavish landscape
As if to memorize its beauty, its charm.

He stood motionless in the corner
The walls of the tiny room closing in..
It all came flooding back:
The playful tussle, a tangle of limbs;
Rolling around on the warm grass
Jack's body pressed hard against his.
The sudden blow to the nose, the bleeding ..

It was his own blood everywhere
On Jack's denim sleeve,
On the plaid shirt.
The shirt he'd figured stolen
Or lost or forgotten up there.
Here it was, hanging in this secret corner
Protected by the other, a pair as one.

Here they hung, shut away from prying eyes
Hidden in a dark, tiny closet in the wall
Afraid of being discovered,
Scared to face the world.
Twenty whole years had gone by
And in this modest part of the universe
They belonged as one, in complete communion
An unspoken pact written on two bloody shirts.









Offline Cameron

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #501 on: March 03, 2007, 09:23:36 pm »
What wonderful drabbles today!!!!
I just love this thread too!!!!!

Mind if go for another today?  It's like their starting to come out on their own

The Neighbor

(June 1988)

Ennis just sat alone in the trailer, just looking at the tv.  The picture was on but he really wasn’t seeing it.  He glanced over at the two bloody shirts, just where he put them, on the nail just the other day or so it seemed, but it was quite a while ago. There were no more tears as he glanced at them, the tears were all gone, just no more left.

He stepped outside of the trailer.  He could see his old neighbor, Jim or Tom, he kept forgetting his name.

“Hey Del Mar, ya wannna come over for a beer?”

Ennis looked down, but then he remembered, and went slowly walking towards the other trailer.
He got to the old man, who had stretched out his hand, but when he looked up at his face, he saw with a start something familiar, something that gave his heart a jolt.

He went inside, to the tidy well kept room.  The man took out two beers and opened one for Ennis.

“Why ya keep so much ta yourself?

Ennis mumbled, but didn’t answer.  He looked over at the pictures, all in a row on the tiny desk.  There was one of Jim or Tom, kept forgetting his name, as a much younger man, just standing there, with his arm around another young man.  The other man was wearing a vest.   Suddenly images of  Jack and the reunion kiss flashed in his mind. 

Jim or Tom, damn, can’t remember his name, then handed Ennis the beer. 

Ennis looked up and into his face, and suddenly he wasn’t so much older than the young man in the photo.

“Ya oughta come over once and a while”, he said with a big smile.

The vision of Jack kept flashing in front of his eyes, he barely heard his new friend say, “Ya sure don’t smile a lot, do ya?”

Ennis couldn’t help himself, something about him and the photos, and something he didn’t know at all, just helped that little seen smile make it onto his worn out face.

(351 words)
« Last Edit: March 04, 2007, 02:06:05 am by marlb42 »



Offline haunted_by_bbm

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #502 on: March 03, 2007, 09:33:30 pm »
  The paralellism of the past and present shadow is really good...  Corresponds to something in my experience... so it gives me goose bumps...  -thanks.

Thank you.   :)   
"The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap.  Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent, Jack blowing forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts..." – Annie Proulx

Offline haunted_by_bbm

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #503 on: March 03, 2007, 09:34:59 pm »
I didn't want your muse to think I was being pushy!  LOL!!! 


C*, a story in your hands couldn't be merely "normal!"   :)

Marie

Marie, you keep me smiling all day.    ;)

C*
"The room stank of semen and smoke and sweat and whiskey, of old carpet and sour hay, saddle leather, shit and cheap soap.  Ennis lay spread-eagled, spent and wet, breathing deep, still half tumescent, Jack blowing forceful cigarette clouds like whale spouts..." – Annie Proulx

Offline TH

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #504 on: March 03, 2007, 11:34:50 pm »
An unspoken pact written on two bloody shirts.

  Great line...  It just resonates inside... 

thanks
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Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #505 on: March 04, 2007, 12:08:48 am »
Bobby Twist wakes up and opens  his eyes, as his dad calls ,from the door
to his room.
"Bobby, son, time to git up..Time for breakfast.  Gotta get dressed, and get outta here.. Im making your breakfast.  Whatda want."
"I want pancakes dad.  The kind with bananas, bananas, and pecans."
"Ok I can do that.  Pancakes wiith bananas, and pecans, it is."
Jack saunters on into the kitchen.Grabs A bowl.  He is reminded of breakfasts with his mama.  He has had a million breakfasts
It seems,  this is just one of the many, he can remember.  He always
has a breakfast of some kind.  Some days it is a sweet roll, or a donut.  He can pick up, on his way to work.  Some days it is a nice fresh omlette,
filled with ham, bacon and sausage with cheese.  A bit of salsa on the
side.  Other times its leftover beans and bacon. " Just one way to mark the
many ways, a man can count his lifetime. Good as any other i spose."  He figures.
"Dad do i have to wear those tennies, mama put out for me to wear?  "Why,
whats wrong with them?"  "Nothings wrong with them."  "Just wanta wear
my boots, like yours? "  "Sure son, you can wear your boots.  If mama says
anything, i'll just tell her I said it was ok." 
"Now finish up your pancakes, we got to get going..I have to get you to school, and head on out to work."  Ive got a lot to do today, before i get
ready to leave."  "I will be back in time to pick you up after school." "We
have time, we can pick up that ball glove you been wantin,"
Jack bends over, picking up Bobbys backpack.  He hands it off to him, and
scurries him out the door. .Grabbing his keys as he passes the entry table.
Bobby sits on the couch with his head down, and watches his mama,
pacing with a cigarette.  Her eyes are red, and she is trying not to shake
But he knows that she is on the edge of collapse.. He remembers the way
his daddy used to fix his morning breakfasts.    Chauffer him off to
school, and be back to pick him up after.  It was their time alone.  A time
they would have no longer.
« Last Edit: March 04, 2007, 01:11:12 am by ifyoucantfixit »



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Offline ifyoucantfixit

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #506 on: March 04, 2007, 05:04:16 am »


    I know this is an odd happening, posting two different drabbles, just the same ,,,you may say...but they are different,, I couldnt figure which one should have been the decision, now there are two.. You can choose the
one that you think should have been posted...or neither one if that is your choice....                                                                    janice



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Offline Penthesilea

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #507 on: March 04, 2007, 08:35:16 am »

The Neighbor

(June 1988)

Ennis just sat alone in the trailer, just looking at the tv.  The picture was on but he really wasn’t seeing it.  He glanced over at the two bloody shirts, just where he put them, on the nail just the other day or so it seemed, but it was quite a while ago. There were no more tears as he glanced at them, the tears were all gone, just no more left.

He stepped outside of the trailer.  He could see his old neighbor, Jim or Tom, he kept forgetting his name.

“Hey Del Mar, ya wannna come over for a beer?”

.....

Ennis looked down, but then he remembered, “Ya oughta come over once and a while”, he said with a big smile.

The vision of Jack kept flashing in front of his eyes, he barely heard his new friend say, “Ya sure don’t smile a lot, do ya?”

Ennis couldn’t help himself, something about him and the photos, and something he didn’t know at all, just helped that little seen smile make it onto his worn out face.

(351 words)


Oh Marlen, this is my favourite drabble of the past few days. It warms my heart.

I love all the drabbles inspired by the shirts. Great idea to use them for a prompt. Although there have been made many, many drabbles/snippets about the shirts over at LJ, they didn't fail to evoke new angles and perspectives on them. What a strong image they are.

Offline MaineWriter

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #508 on: March 04, 2007, 08:46:03 am »
Oh, what wonderful drabbles yesterday! This is such a creative thread, I just love it...

Okay, the movie iconography was very inspiring to folks yesterday, so let's try it again, with some specific quotes. Let's see what these bring forth:

  • "boys like you"
  • "slop bucket mouth"
  • "some sweet life"

L
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Offline TH

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Re: The Bettermost Drabblefest: Please Join In!
« Reply #509 on: March 04, 2007, 08:56:38 am »
Although there have been made many, many drabbles/snippets about the shirts over at LJ, they didn't fail to evoke new angles and perspectives on them. What a strong image they are.

  Hmmm...  The point may be arguable... it seemed that that was the climax of both the movie and the book...  It seemed to me no coincidence that the shirts were in a closet and that that is where Ennis found them and connected to them...  It seemed the imagery was inescapable...  -smile
I know you think I know that you know what you think I said.
Know you what you think I know you know is not what I meant?