(I know, way over, sorry..)
Knowing Everything and Nothing
(August 1985)
The lilac bush was wildly rustling. Tom yelled again even louder this time “what the hell was that?” Ennis sat there with his eyes open wide. Tom got up and began walking towards the bush. “Must be an animal, I guess.” The bush kept on shaking. Tom walked over and walked all around it, but then he quickly came back. “That's the strangest thing I have ever seen, ain’t no critter anywhere.”
Ennis got up and began walking away. “I’m goin’” he said. “I don’t know about this.” But Tom quickly went up to him and put his arms around him. Then grabbed his collar and stroked his neck
“I want ya to stay” Tom said.
Tom pressed his body close, and said again, softly and hungrily “I really want you to stay.” Ennis looked right into his deep blue eyes. He allowed himself to feel Tom’s body against his. But then he broke away and said “I can’t, I can’t stay, I gotta go.”
Tom’s face began to darken. “Ya know, you sound just like a broken record. Always, I can’t and I won’t. Why don’t ya ever let yourself do what ya really want to do?” he almost yelled with the frustration growing in his voice. “I know ya want to stay, I know ya need to stay.”
Ennis looked over at the lilac bush, it finally stopped its motion. He looked at Tom. “Ya know that? Ennis asked. “Ya think you know everthin' about me?” he said with his eyes piercing Tom, but then he quickly stared at the ground.
“I know plenty” Tom replied. “You just think people don’t know all about you.”
Ennis shot him an angry look, and hurried back to his trailer. He sat down on the bed, breathing hard and trembling. He went to the closet, he opened the door and he looked at the shirts, but then he quickly closed the door back again. Ennis then stood there with his eyes fixed on the closed closet door, breathing like he was gasping for air. Hanging on the knob was a yellow plastic tape measure, that Cassie used when she talked about fixing up the place. But she never got to do any of the things that she wanted to do. Ennis had no idea that the thing was still there. He picked it up and sat back down on the bed and began twisting and wrapping it around his hands. He looked at the old picture on his nightstand. Then he said out loud. “ya know just what I want, do ya?” He stretched the tape measure out in front of him.
Suddenly the trailer door swung open with a loud bang. The wind came howling in. Ennis’s hands began to shake even more. He dropped the tape measure. It fell to the floor and he bent down to pick it up. But just as he straightened up, the picture crashed to the floor.
“What the fuck is happenin’?” Ennis tried to scream, but the words didn’t come out. The noise was roaring in his ears.
But then, suddenly, the silence returned.