Well, I don't mind so much when people blame the movie's tragedy on Ennis' refusal to go along with Jack's plans. Sure, it's possible to argue that it was actually society's fault, not Ennis', and that they were both equally victimized by cultural homophobia. But let's face it, they were both living in the same society and yet they reacted to it in different ways. Ennis himself would no doubt agree, at the end, that he blew it.
I can even understand the posts arguing that Ennis doesn't accept his sexuality until the end, and maybe not even then, and that he doesn't realize he loves Jack until the end. I disagree with them, and I think those views undermine the movie's romantic power, which to me is one of the best things about it. But at least they seem reasonable analyses based on what we see in the movie.
What I'm talking about are the posts I've seen arguing that Ennis is incredibly selfish, that he constantly disappoints Jack at every opportunity as well as everyone else he's ever known, that he is sexist and potentially physically abusive (the reason Alma backs down in the grocery store), that in the dozy embrace regardless of how affectionate he might appear he in fact refuses to admit he is holding a man, that he is out of touch with his own feelings, that he never in any way shows his love to Jack and probably doesn't realize he feels it anyway, that he neglects and barely shows love to his daughters, that he is cruel to Alma by marrying her and to Cassie by dating her, that he expresses emotion only through violent anger. I have seen people argue that when Ennis goes in to comfort the runny-nosed girls he's actually being sexist because he's secretly fuming that Alma isn't doing it herself (while also toiling away at the laundry). I have seen people argue that Ennis is selfish because he never brings home any fish. And so on!
Sometimes he starts to seem like some kind of Ebenezer Scrooge-like character who Jack is unlucky enough to get tanged up with. Gets tiresome.
Actually, temper and hangups aside, Ennis seems to me like a flawed but well-meaning, polite, unassuming and responsible guy who loved Jack intensely and was able to show it nonverbally but didn't know what to do about it.