Author Topic: Your Skinny Girl - original fiction by Louisev  (Read 4162 times)

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Your Skinny Girl - original fiction by Louisev
« on: December 03, 2006, 01:52:48 pm »
I have posted an original fiction story - it is part romance, and part fantasy.  If you saw and enjoyed "Kate and Leopold" this is sort of the reverse:

"Your Skinny Girl"

Index:  http://louisev.livejournal.com/161282.html

Chapter 1:  http://louisev.livejournal.com/161550.html    32 chapters starting at this link.

Let me know what you think!
« Last Edit: February 11, 2007, 12:55:07 pm by louisev »
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline twistedude

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost 1000+ Posts Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,430
  • "It's nobody's business but ours."
    • "every sort of organized noise"
Re: From the Creator of the Laramie Saga
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2006, 01:57:18 am »
I liked it a lot, Louise (if I may call you that--you sign it so). I left you a comment--mainly picky about names---

I wish I knew if you speak German...silly question, I guess.

Cavil: Would a seasoned businessman think of a CEO as "Mr. CEO"? Even if he didn't want to be there?
"We're each of us alone, to be sure. What can you do but hold your hand out in the dark?" --"Nine Lives," by Ursula K. Le Guin, from The Wind's Twelve Quarters

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: From the Creator of the Laramie Saga
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2006, 06:56:32 am »
not to his face, he wouldn't!
“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


merrobot

  • Guest
Re: From the Creator of the Laramie Saga
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2006, 04:59:30 pm »
I've just finished reading chapters 1 and 2 of this new story and had a couple of comments/queries:

Very interesting start - Wolfgang blaming his "hepatitis" for his sexual dysfunction which is probably more likely to be explained by the fact that Maggie "wasn't her" (i.e. a psychological rather than physical barrier to sexual function).  However, I am at a complete loss how the diagnosis of Hepatitis C Virus (HCV) was made.  It was my understanding that many HCV carriers tend to remain asymptomatic and when they do present with symptoms in the acute phase they are typically non-descript (fever, nausea, jaundice).  I wonder what would prompt the ER doctor to come up with this diagnosis in the absence of a blood test - does Wolfgang have a history of IV drug use, haemophilia (leading to risk of infected blood transfusion) or has he been exposed via sex with an infected partner?  I also don't know what purpose antibiotics would serve as there is no mention of a related bacterial infection.  Perhaps all will become clearer as I read on!

ETA:  Having read chapter 4 I'm wondering if WP has alcohol-related hepatitis rather than HCV given that he does seem to have an alcohol dependence problem.  Also, hepatitis is not like the flu - it doesn't infect people in waves, and obviously is not passed from person to person if it is alcohol-related.  I believe that Hepatitis A infection is more easily acquired and perhaps this is what Wolfgang was referring to as travellers to developing countries are at risk of HAV infection if they are not vaccinated.  Which begs the question has he "been sent" outside the Western world.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2006, 05:28:27 pm by merrobot »

Offline ifyoucantfixit

  • BetterMost 5000+ Posts Club
  • *******
  • Posts: 8,049
Re: From the Creator of the Laramie Saga
« Reply #4 on: December 15, 2006, 05:35:27 am »
               louise i did read your book,,,chapter 1-4 and all the rest...i found it a very interesting and challenging read..a type of mystery if you will.  is the man a madman.  is he having psychotic episodes, or is it an alcohol induced hallucination...it was a very fun and puzzling story to decipher..and i didnt pick on an insignificant detail about how a diagnosis might be made...it wasnt my job..i wasnt writing the story...i didnt find the realism to be compromised one way or the other by the way he was discovered to have the disease...                   thank you for a fun read,,janice



     Beautiful mind

Offline brokebackjack

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • Brokeback Got Me Good
  • *****
  • Posts: 817
Re: From the Creator of the Laramie Saga
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2006, 05:44:13 am »
Louise, i've taken not and bookmarked this, yet doubt i will be able to read it for a while, there is too much wedding craziness going on and it hasn't even started, that stuff starts in NYC next week.....

BUT FROM WHAT I GLANCED AT IT LOOKS WONDERFUL.

Jack
"I couldn't stand it no more so i fixed it"

Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: From the Creator of the Laramie Saga
« Reply #6 on: December 15, 2006, 09:27:27 am »
well I hope you Friends all enjoy the Taking Chances re-read and my original novel, since I am going and doing errands now, enjoying a well-appreciated "day off" from writing, and will be heading to visit Fabienne in Brussels tomorrow!

“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”


Offline louisev

  • BetterMost Supporter!
  • BetterMost Moderator
  • The BetterMost 10,000 Post Club
  • *****
  • Posts: 16,107
  • "My guns and amo!! Over my cold dead hands!!"
    • Fiction by Louise Van Hine
Re: From the Creator of the Laramie Saga
« Reply #7 on: February 04, 2007, 04:49:42 am »
Hi Gang,

I am bumping this thread in part because some readers may have not seen it if they recently joined Bettermost, and also because I have decided that "Your Skinny Girl" is next in my publishing queue.  It is short, it is compact, and all it needs is a good proofread or two, and so I have placed it with my editor to start the process of publishing it.

As with all of my books, I always offer a prepublication special autograph edition price for the book, and estimate that it will be available in 8 weeks. (I don't want to make it before then because I wanted a 31 July 2005 availability date for "Erotic Etudes" and it ended up not being finished with the final edits until beginning of October!  That had a lot to do with my moving internationally, and I was a lot less prepared than I am now.

And so I will be putting up an announcement on my own website, www.zebratta.com, about the pre-release sale of the Autograph Edition of "Your Skinny Girl"  and invite those who have not as yet looked at it, to take a gander on my Livejournal:

Index:  http://louisev.livejournal.com/161282.html

Chapter 1:  http://louisev.livejournal.com/161550.html    32 chapters starting at this link.

And YES I am working on chapter 39 of "A Small Circle of Friends" as we speak.

“Mr. Coyote always gets me good, boy,”  Ellery said, winking.  “Almost forgot what life was like before I got me my own personal coyote.”