Author Topic: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?  (Read 22019 times)

Offline BBM-Cat

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2007, 01:02:06 pm »
Thank you! What a painful journey you have been through - very sorry to hear of your struggles and thanks for sharing so openly. It is extremely difficult when there is a lack of closure when someone dies and there is important, 'unfinished business' as you allude to. Again, I'm glad you have been able to turn your grief outward to be a compassionate soul for those who need comforting. Seems many people have had a similar awakening after experiencing BBM. Just think, your journey of growth over the past 20 years is akin to Jack and Ennis' 20 year journey together....wishing you a peaceful resolution.
Six-word Stories:  ~Jack: Lightning Flat, lightning love, flat denied   ~Ennis: Open space: flat tire, tire iron?

Offline Br. Patrick

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #21 on: March 26, 2007, 02:00:02 am »
Just think, your journey of growth over the past 20 years is akin to Jack and Ennis' 20 year journey together....wishing you a peaceful resolution.

Never thought of it that way!  Thanks a lot!
 :) br. patrick
Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

...Cause I know - A love that will never grow old.

Gustavo Santaolalla & Bernie Taupin

Offline Lynne

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2007, 09:36:45 pm »
*bump*
"Laß sein. Laß sein."

Offline loneleeb3

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #23 on: April 17, 2007, 08:17:00 am »
Well Mr Patrick my heart goes out to you!
I am in a similar position that you were. I see you haven't poted on this thread in awile so I hope you are doing ok. The depression I deal with normally has been compounded by the plethera of feelins this movie has caused to re-surface. The total dissatisfaction with my life is also coming to a head and I think I am having a mid-life crisis upon turning40. I really want to read the book but I'm afraid that I will sink further into dispair.
The good news, I have found this board and eveyone here has benn so kind and supotive. I would be a complete basket case were i not to have found this place.
Thanks everyone!
"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

Offline David

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #24 on: April 17, 2007, 08:30:10 am »
Oh yeah.   I bought a copy of the book after my second movie viewing.    I read the book twice.   I was a basket case after the second reading.    That led to a few days of moping around the house crying.  Staring out the window and crying.     I finally tossed the book into the garbage can so I wouldn't be able to read it again.


It took a while to snap out of it.   The part that helped best was finding other people in the same situation.  First at IMDB, then here at BetterMost.

Many of us stayed up late at nights typing out questions about the movie.   Once we picked apart every little subtle meaning, we were spent.       Even though I own a copy of the movie on DVD I don't watch it.   It is still too painful.


Offline loneleeb3

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #25 on: April 17, 2007, 09:14:54 am »
I'm just not free to grieve right now.
All these feelings, watching the movie and soon reading the book will all be done in private.
It just makes it that much harder.

"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

Scott6373

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #26 on: April 17, 2007, 09:27:53 am »
I'm just not free to grieve right now.
All these feelings, watching the movie and soon reading the book will all be done in private.
It just makes it that much harder.



Well you're here now, and if there are any bunch of people that can help you, it's us...we're all BBM survivors, and we're here for ya darlin'.

Offline Br. Patrick

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #27 on: April 17, 2007, 02:45:54 pm »
The good news, I have found this board and everyone here has been so kind and supportive. I would be a complete basket case were i not to have found this place.

I see my therapist twice a month and my psychiatrist every six weeks.   That's the best that Social Security Disability has to offer people with chronic mental problems and if it weren't for God, Bettermost and Lynne, I don't think I would have made it through 2006!

There is so much love here!  I hope in my heart of hearts that you find the answers that you are seeking.   As I mentioned a few posts ago, the Short Story and the Film hit the same buttons for me.  So if you are already hurting badly enough, put off Reading the short story 'til you are in better shape.

Who would have thought that a MOVIE could have the power to motivate people to change their lives?   And the only way through it... is THROUGH IT!
peace and blessings :)
br. patrick
« Last Edit: April 17, 2007, 03:05:47 pm by Br. Patrick »
Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

...Cause I know - A love that will never grow old.

Gustavo Santaolalla & Bernie Taupin

Offline loneleeb3

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #28 on: April 17, 2007, 06:50:32 pm »
I
Who would have thought that a MOVIE could have the power to motivate people to change their lives?   And the only way through it... is THROUGH IT!
Amen. This is a tough one.
Like my buddy Ennis says, there ain't no reins on this one!
"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

Offline nic

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #29 on: April 18, 2007, 11:54:34 am »
I found the screenplay much harder to read.  I still haven't read it all.  When I first picked it up, it randomly fell open to the page where Ennis gets the final postcard.  It was terrible, all these horrendous emotions crowded my head & I felt physically winded.  I think I have been fairly immune to the short story because of the starkness of AP's writing style.  While I appreciate it academically speaking, it's a tad too sparse to get to me fully.  With the screenplay, the seemingly banal details of who's where etc just brings everything into focus too sharply - like being forced to watch the film in excruiatingly slow motion. 

We have to undergo a medical at work once a year to see if we are fit for our particular type of work & it also touches on emotional issues & the current vogue for how stress influences work performance.  I haven't seen a counseller since college but ended up at my medical last year explaining that I was concerned for my mental/emotional state.  I didn't mention it was cos of BBM, but that was the reason. At that time it had been two months since I'd seen it & I had not joined a forum.  A year later I didn't have to mention it at my medical but was surprised to recall how intensely I'd been feeling at the same time a year ago.  Normally I wouldn't dream of mentioning anything of that nature to anyone unless it was really significant.  There is certainly no doubt as to the significance of BBM, both to the individual & to society & culture at large.
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