Hi, Artiste--
For someone like me, a gay man with very bad 'gaydar', I have to put myself into situations where I know a lot of the other men around me will be gay...precisely like a gay bar. Unfortunately, I don't feel very comfortable at bars, especially not by myself, and I don't drink alcohol anyway; I haven't been to a bar (gay or otherwise) in many, many years.
I think it's important to not put all your eggs in one basket. For me, this means not focusing exclusively on finding that romantic/sexual connection, but also being open to meeting new friends, where sexuality may not even be part of the equation. This includes (for me) developing friendships with women and with gay/bi men who are in committed relationships. By making yourself more open emotionally in general, you allow that healing energy of love to flow more freely, and it can reward you sometimes in surprising ways. Loving someone (anyone) unconditionally is its own reward, and I believe a spiritual attainment of the highest order.
Most importantly, just be yourself...as much as possible, honor your truth in every situation and environment in which you find yourself. The universe will reflect back what you give out to it. Romantic and sexual fulfillment may not be part of the plan for all of us, either...that may be a frightening statement, but I think it is true. But that doesn't mean that such lives need be unhappy or in vain. By cultivating areas in addition to those of romance and sexuality, we become a more whole person, regardless of who we are. And wholeness will always be its own special and sweet kind of fulfillment.