Author Topic: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?  (Read 22016 times)

Offline loneleeb3

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #30 on: April 18, 2007, 11:58:43 am »
Not to sound cliche', but Brokeback got me good.
I'm devestaded. I haven't been this sad since I lost my grandmother.
Seriously, I can't believe I am experiancing this kind of loss, pain and devestation over a movie.
I feel like I'm crazy! I'm just glad to know that there are 914 other crazy people here with me.
It helps alot.
"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

Offline Artiste

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #31 on: April 18, 2007, 09:00:18 pm »
Thanks loneleeb3 !

What you are experiencing, you know that I am doing so likewise too??

And I saw that many worldwide are, in the same boat as you and I, since the BM movie affects us all!

You have found some more like us?

Hugs!!

Offline Br. Patrick

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #32 on: April 19, 2007, 09:33:47 am »
A year later I didn't have to mention it at my medical but was surprised to recall how intensely I'd been feeling at the same time a year ago.  Normally I wouldn't dream of mentioning anything of that nature to anyone unless it was really significant.  There is certainly no doubt as to the significance of BBM, both to the individual & to society & culture at large.

Old Brokeback got us good and it sure ain't over...

 :'(
Lean on me, let our hearts beat in time,
Feel strength from the hands that have held you so long.
Who cares where we go on this rugged old road
In a world that may say that we're wrong.

...Cause I know - A love that will never grow old.

Gustavo Santaolalla & Bernie Taupin

Offline Artiste

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #33 on: April 19, 2007, 10:19:39 am »
Thanks, thanks Br. Patrick, and loneleeb3 !!

Yes, that movie sure got to me too; to us all !!

I read about such situations, like ours, many times on other sites too!!

And so glad we are sharing to be more happy!!

Hugs, husg to you both, and to all!!

Offline loneleeb3

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #34 on: April 19, 2007, 10:33:52 am »
Old Brokeback got us good and it sure ain't over...

 :'(
Not sure i want it to be.
I love those boys! How freakin crazy am I? I just said I love two people that exist in a fictional world?
Oh well, crazy or not it's true.
"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

moremojo

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #35 on: April 19, 2007, 10:56:46 am »
Not sure i want it to be.
I love those boys! How freakin crazy am I? I just said I love two people that exist in a fictional world?
Oh well, crazy or not it's true.
Lee, you're definitely not alone on this one either. It took me a little while to realize that part of what I was feeling in relation to Brokeback Mountain was love...love for Ennis and Jack, both as individuals and as a couple. One of the respondents to my first substantial post on the IMDb board put it so beautifully; they wrote that "first you fall in love with Ennis and Jack, and then you fall in love with their love."

Ennis and Jack are fictional characters, but what they represent is very real. I hope to use this love that their story has engendered in me to apply to my life as a whole, because I think that is one of the finer ways I could honor what their story means to me.

Offline Artiste

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #36 on: April 19, 2007, 11:21:31 am »
Thanks, thanks moremojo, and loneleeb3 !!

Yes, I and you plus so many others want Ennis and Jack, as if they are real!!

I have seen some gay men meet and live together too, as real couples!!
And this is becoming less rare!! Thank goodness!!

Somehow, they found themselves and work at it!!
I remember seeing a couple who found themselves in a gay bath!
Another, through ad in the gay newspaper and letters
( I found many who became friends this way in my own experiences!)
Some do find another guy in bar(s), I never did except one who became a very good friend;
I do not go to gay bars anymore. I guess I seek like in the BM movie now??

I wonder if one has also to plan such: to find another?? I think so!!
Some I heard found themselves on the internet, months communicating with each other!!
Wow, wow, that is great, great!!

At least the internet helps us here too!!

Any other ideas how to find another gay man, possibly as a futur partner, pal/lover??

Hugs, hugs!!

moremojo

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #37 on: April 19, 2007, 11:39:55 am »
Hi, Artiste--

For someone like me, a gay man with very bad 'gaydar', I have to put myself into situations where I know a lot of the other men around me will be gay...precisely like a gay bar. Unfortunately, I don't feel very comfortable at bars, especially not by myself, and I don't drink alcohol anyway; I haven't been to a bar (gay or otherwise) in many, many years.

I think it's important to not put all your eggs in one basket. For me, this means not focusing exclusively on finding that romantic/sexual connection, but also being open to meeting new friends, where sexuality may not even be part of the equation. This includes (for me) developing friendships with women and with gay/bi men who are in committed relationships. By making yourself more open emotionally in general, you allow that healing energy of love to flow more freely, and it can reward you sometimes in surprising ways. Loving someone (anyone) unconditionally is its own reward, and I believe a spiritual attainment of the highest order.

Most importantly, just be yourself...as much as possible, honor your truth in every situation and environment in which you find yourself. The universe will reflect back what you give out to it. Romantic and sexual fulfillment may not be part of the plan for all of us, either...that may be a frightening statement, but I think it is true. But that doesn't mean that such lives need be unhappy or in vain. By cultivating areas in addition to those of romance and sexuality, we become a more whole person, regardless of who we are. And wholeness will always be its own special and sweet kind of fulfillment.

Offline loneleeb3

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #38 on: April 19, 2007, 12:00:16 pm »
Hi, Artiste--

For someone like me, a gay man with very bad 'gaydar',  ;D

Romantic and sexual fulfillment may not be part of the plan for all of us, either...that may be a frightening statement, but I
Yeah, I think I'm gonna have a problem with that too if I ever get to the point where I can test it out. Hell it took me 40yrs to be sure about myself.

Thats what i want though, the Romance and the sex. I want to experience all of that but with someone i love and more imprtantly who loves me. I think that is what has been lacking my whole life.
I want that tenderness of the dozy embrace or in the hotel room.
I want love and fulfillment. Who doesn't though?
"The biggest obstacle to most of us achieving our dreams isn't reality, it's our own fear"

"Saint Paul had his Epiphany on the road to Damascus, Mine was on Brokeback Mountain"

Offline Artiste

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Re: What am I supposed to do when I know it's going to tear me up?
« Reply #39 on: April 19, 2007, 01:01:05 pm »
Thanks, thanks moremojo, and loneleeb3 !!

Wow, wow what you two say is a lot for me to think about!!

I will need time to answer too!!

For now, I do not want an end like in the movie, even if some are like Ennis ( and will have only one man as Jack even if Jack has died!) !!

My pal/lover has died like Jack I figure, even if I tried to save his life!! And, I am sure that he (Wayne) would/will /does want me to continue loving him,  as well now as others, especially another possible partner/lover, I am sure of that having known him for a few years!!

Life I am realizing is like steps; so we each go from one to another step. I know that I will find one for mutual love, as I just have to plan seeking that!! Somehow! I pray for that!!

Any ideas guys,

hugs, hugs!!