Hi everyone...it is snowing here in Maine. Me and my friends single-handedly made it so that we have snow day today (and maybe tomorrow!) Just thought you might like reading this. Please give me comments, thanks. Hannah
Memorandum
To: My fellow students
From: Hannah
Re: Snow Day – Imperative!
Date: Today
According to the weather report, we have the chance for significant snowfall tomorrow. Since snow days have been non-existent so far this year, this is an opportunity we do not want to miss. History has shown than even one student who deviates from the snow day ritual can jinx it for all of us, so I am sending this memo to remind you all of the protocol.
First, when you get home, complete all homework assignments. Better yet, finish all your work while you are still at school. Then, you can use the time at home to work on future assignments or extra credit projects. The goal is to be ahead. And complete. That means, even answering the 2 + 2 question at the bottom of the math paper. Have all your books and notebooks organized and packed in your backpack.
Second, the evening ritual is critical. Take a shower. Wash your hair. Boys, shave. When you get ready for bed, put your pajamas on inside-out. Go downstairs and kiss your parents good night. Surprise them with kindness. Forgiveness is good, too. Make up with 1) your siblings; 2) your pets; 3) your parents; 4) your goldfish.
Going to bed is next. Make sure your alarm is set. Plan your schedule so that you have at least eight hours of sleep. Nine is better. Two key elements of the ritual occur at bedtime: you must throw an ice cube out of the window. Aim for the street. Next, put a spoon under your pillow. If you happen to have a spoon with a snowflake design on the handle, that is even better.
Don’t question any of these practices! They are all essential.
You may find yourself waking during the night to see if the snow has started to fall. That is fine, but don’t get out of bed to check the TV or radio until your alarm has sounded. Superintendents don’t make the snow decision until 6 a.m. anyway, so there is no point in losing any of your much needed sleep at 4 in the morning. This ain’t Christmas, folks, it’s a snow day.
That said, the minute your alarm rings, leap out of bed and rush to the nearest TV to scan the closings. A really awesome snow day will require patience at this point, as you must wade through various and sundry closings including day care centers and cancelled bowling leagues. Eventually, the schools will be listed. If you happen to live in Albion or Alfred, you are in luck; for those of us in Westbrook and Windham, the wait is
longer. If you happen to turn on the TV in the middle of the SADs and SAUs, you are….well, let’s just say, you need even more patience.
When your school cancellation is announced, you must throw your hands in the air and say, “Oh, yeah,” with reverence. The goal now is to not jinx a potential second snow day. The possibility of that is remote but it has been known to happen when everyone cooperates.
At this point, however, you are allowed to relax. Return to your bed for a minimum of two hours (it doesn’t matter if you have already slept for nine, the objective is to sleep in). When you finally get up, look out the window, say “Oh yeah,” again, and don’t bother getting dressed. This is key…clothes on, you might get roped into shoveling the driveway. Or worse, you might be tempted to go out and make a snow angel. That is so second grade!
At approximately 4 p.m., begin the ritual again, by double-checking your homework, your backpack, your alarm, your jammies. Don’t forget the ice cube or spoon. If we all work together, we might not have to go back to school until April 1st.
If you have any questions, send me a note, via ice cube.
