Author Topic: "If your can't fix it, Jack...You gotta stand it."  (Read 12795 times)

Offline Penthesilea

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Re: "If your can't fix it, Jack...You gotta stand it."
« Reply #30 on: December 18, 2006, 05:33:25 pm »
Quote
From Katherine:
I will never understand exactly why it happened to us, a small percentage of viewers of the movie, and not to either everybody else who saw it or nobody who saw it. But I'm glad it did! I feel proud to be a member of the Brokie community, strange an identity as that may be.   

I agree with both parts of your statement. I'm glad it happened to me, but I still can't (fully) understand why.

But, and that's the difference to the early times, it's not bugging me anymore. I still wonder about the why and still think about it. But not as often anymore as it used to be.
Somehow I got used to live with the not-knowing, the not-understanding. And I'm ok with it now.
At the beginning of my obsession it drove me nuts, that I couldn't point my finger to THE one crucial reason why I respond to this movie/story the way I do.

Brokeback has become a part of my life, a part of me. Similar to what Amanda and you have said. It's just always there. And even if the obession will start to fade some day, Brokeback will not. It will stay with me.

And similar to Brokeback becoming a part of my life, the not-knowing has become a part of the whole experience. That's why it doesn't drive me nuts anymore.
« Last Edit: December 18, 2006, 05:36:11 pm by Penthesilea »

Offline Katie77

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Re: "If your can't fix it, Jack...You gotta stand it."
« Reply #31 on: December 18, 2006, 06:59:25 pm »
Whenever I read these threads when we are asking ourselves "why" us, it always brings to mind the essay that Leslie wrote back in January, Brokeback Fever....

I have just attached it to Phillips thread for the newcomers who are trying to understand what is happening to them...and I will attach it here too, so we can read what was so prolifically written 12 months ago, and reflect on how we were feeling then, and how we are still feeling now..........

A New Clinical Entity: Brokeback Fever
By: Leslie H. Nicoll

   Forget Avian Flu. There’s a new disease sweeping the land, with the potential to infect millions of people and wreak havoc on the US economy through thousands of hours of lost worker productivity. It’s called Brokeback Fever.

   Brokeback Fever was first identified in 1997 when the short story, “Brokeback Mountain,” by author E. Annie Proulx, was published in The New Yorker. However, due to limited distribution and a small reading audience, the disease was kept in check. Now, with the release of the movie and its award winning status (Venice Film Festival, Critics Circle, Golden Globes, 8 Academy Award nominations, and numerous other accolades) it is likely that the disease will reach epidemic proportions in US and potentially, throughout the world.

   Epidemiologic study has identified the zero case as Diana Ossana, co-author (with Larry McMurtry) of the screenplay for the film. A self-described insomniac, Ossana read the story one sleepless night and in her words, “was weeping by the end, deep gut wrenching sobs.” This, in fact, is a classic symptom of Brokeback Fever.

   Ossana, in an effort to assuage her symptoms, optioned the story and wrote the screenplay with McMurtry. Through many long years, the story was always in the front of her mind. It is not known if release of the film has resolved Ossana’s illness. She has chosen not to publicly reveal that information.

   Brokeback Fever can be contracted in a variety of ways. Most common is reading the short story or seeing the movie. However, the illness has also been identified in people who have read about the movie, through reviews or interviews with those involved in its production, but have not yet seen the film. This latter form of infection has come about through the limited release strategy of the film’s distributor, Focus Features. It appears that indirect infection is no less virulent than the direct form of the disease.

   Symptoms include obsessive thinking about the movie/story, disturbed sleep patterns, weeping/sobbing, and a need to discuss it endlessly with family, friends, and co-workers. Some have reported physical symptoms, including aching joints, throbbing head, and a mild depression that can last for hours or days. Additional symptoms that have been identified include obsessive reading about the movie (reviews, interviews, etc), listening to the soundtrack repeatedly, and a desire to write fan letters to authors Proulx, Ossana, and McMurtry, director Ang Lee, and stars Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Williams, and Anne Hathaway.

   It appears that Brokeback Fever afflicts men and women equally. It also appears to cut across all age groups. While some speculated that the subject matter of the film (a story of forbidden love between two cowboys in Wyoming) would appeal to a primarily gay demographic, sufferers of Brokeback Fever come from all walks of life. It seems that no one is immune from the disease.

   At present there is no cure. Sufferers describe a variety of interventions in an effort to ameliorate their symptoms. The most common seems to be repeat viewings of the film. In extreme cases, some sufferers have reported seeing the movie so many times that they have lost count of the number. Others report beating their own personal best for seeing a movie in a theater. For example, one sufferer declared, “The only other movie I have seen more than once in a theater is ‘Titanic,’ which I saw twice. But I have seen Brokeback Mountain three times, and plan to go again.” Sufferers have reported traveling great distances to see the film. An Irish sufferer traveled three hours by train (one way) and paid a 50 Euro train fare to see the movie on one of six screens in Dublin, the only place it was playing in his country.

   Sufferers report finding solace in discussion groups, especially on the Internet. There, a community of fellow sufferers provides comfort, support, and understanding. In particular, the Internet seems to provide an appropriate forum to assist with the need to discuss the story, movie, and its characters endlessly. Common discussions include the motivations and actions of the main characters, the ending (what really happened), and preferred scenes. Sufferers also quote favorite bits of dialogue to each other, play games, (eg “Cowboy Etiquette”), and develop elaborate backstories for all the characters. Tangentially, sufferers discuss technical aspects of making the movie and share information about the real-life performers who were in the film. A particularly intriguing discussion is about what special features should/will be included on the DVD. This seems to give sufferers full rein to imagine all the scenes that were not included in the final film, as well as to learn more about its entire production from beginning to end.

   Unfortunately, while the Internet does provide solace, for some, the ongoing discussion seems to “fuel the fever” and worsen the illness. For example, at the Internet Movie Database (IMDb; www.imdb.com), the “Brokeback Mountain” discussion board has close to 110,000 messages, with new messages being posted every few seconds. Discussions on other movies that were in theaters at the same time as “Brokeback Mountain” are not nearly as active, with 30,117 messages for “King Kong,” 22,803 for “The Chronicles of Narnia,” and 15,442 for “Munich.” “Titanic,” another blockbuster love story and Academy Award winner, clocks in with a paltry 8,833. Sufferers with the Internet-addiction form of Brokeback Fever have reported spending too much time on the discussion boards, to the point where they are missing work or school. One sufferer, a college student, acknowledged that even though the current semester started two weeks prior, she had yet to open a textbook. It must be noted that things could be worse—at least she bought her books!

   Sufferers seem to recognize the extent of their disease, and echoing a poignant line from the film (“I wish I knew how to quit you”), ask how to quit Brokeback Mountain. Solutions, however, are sparse. And while many profess a desire to “quit BBM” (in Internet parlance) it seems that they are truly enjoying the experience and want it to last, even though they recognize it is disrupting their lives.

   Because it is a new clinical entity, it is not known if Brokeback Fever is an acute or chronic illness, although the zero case, as noted above, has seemed to suffer from it for at least eight years. Ongoing data collection about the illness and its clinical presentation should help to clarify this point.

   If you, or a loved one, are suffering from Brokeback Fever, there are a few things you can do. First, be thankful that you acquired Brokeback Fever and not the clinically offensive “Grandma’s Boy Fever.” If you have to watch a movie multiple times, at least it is one of the best movies that has ever been put to film and stands up well to repeated viewings. Second, if you have been active in Internet discussions, you have likely made new friends. Broadening your social circle is always a good thing. Third, give yourself to the experience. Many sufferers have described the experience of seeing “Brokeback Mountain” as being life-changing and transcendent. They have used it as an opportunity to examine their lives, re-think decisions, and strengthen relationships. We often need a trigger to make us move forward. Who knows where these triggers come from? The fact that this movie has reached so deeply into the hearts and minds of so many people speaks to its power to transform. So, rather than fighting the feeling, give yourself to it and see if it brings about positive change. Finally, be patient. Time is always a great healer. It is probable that the symptoms of Brokeback Fever will slowly subside, eventually becoming a warm spot in your heart and a very special memory in your mind.

   And rejoice in this fact: rumor has it that the DVD will be released on April 4th!

Leslie H. Nicoll is a Registered Nurse and owner of Maine Desk, LLC in Portland, Maine. She admits to an advanced case of Brokeback Fever and reports seeing the movie six times, as of this writing. She undertook this clinical analysis in an effort to cure herself of the disease.


Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection