Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side

The "Ask a Stoopid Question - Get a Stoopid Answer" Game

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Sheriff Roland:
This game can't seem to survive out at IMDb BBM, so maybe some people here would be interested in participating in a revived edition here.

This is what I was able to copy last night:

Q: Why did that thread get deleted?
A: It was too intellectual.
A: Someone has something against stupid questions/answers
A: Because you can never have any fun on this message board!!!

Q: Would the real troll please stand up?
A: Trolls have neither limbs nor genitals.

Q: What do trolls eat?
A: they eat their hearts out when people are having a good time.

Q: Am I the only one pi**ed at this?
A: To get to the other side.

Q: Why don't Texans drink coffee?
A: Coffee doesn't go well with BBQ ribs for breakfast.

Q: Why are Ennis and Jack white?
A: Because they haven't spent enough time washing their clothes naked.

Q: Did Jack shave after he arrived at work? Why didn't he shave before he left?
A: Because last year he wasted time shaving and ended up only having Aguirre and 'Lightening Rod' Louie to look purty for.

Q: Why is Jack such a rotten shot?
A: because he wasn't a straight shooter.

Q: Why does lil' Bobby twist need a tutor?
A: because his granpa taught him everything he knew.

Q: Why was Jack handy with a can opener?
A: Because his wrists were well developed....don't ask

Q: Why did Jack pick the mexican prostitute that he did?
A: Because it was dark.
A: Because he was the only Mexican he could find in Mexico...

Q: Why did Jack take up the harmonica?
A: It was on the gound.
A: Because carrying a Bass Cello around on horseback can be a bit inconvenient!

Q: Why not have baby turtles instead of sheep?
A: It's really hard to shear a turtle!

Q: Why did Alma Junior knock over the peanuts in the store?
A: because she liked to see how they all magically appear back on the shelf. Anybody catch that in the movie?

Q;Why did Jacks wife go so blonde?
A: To match the carpet.

Q: Why don't men dance with their wives?
A: because they know their wifes are sick of their '2 steps'

Q: Why did Jack "Sleep like a horse on its feet?
A: Because horses don't generally sleep on their heads!

Q: Whose a better dancer, Jack or Ennis and why?
A: Ennis because the boy can do MANY things well without instruction manual.

Q: What did the wives think of Jack and Ennis' affair?
A; that was fine with them cause now they can go back to saying a womans favorite line... " the ceiling needs painting" during sex.

Q: Why was Ennis so mad at the mule?
A: Because the mule refused the title of pack mule and instead went by carpenter mule and everyone knows a carpenter mule cannot be expected to pack anything according to the carpentry union rule 1069...thus, Ennis was mad.

Q: Where WAS Jack's blue parka??
A: Well, secretly Lureen had thrown it away because it smelled like cat pis*, she didn't have the heart to tell Jack.

Q: Why is it essential that cowboys shave out of coffee cups?
A: Because they bathe out of pots.

Q: How do you tell the male sheep from the female sheep?
A: Duh! Which one is yapping on her cell non-stop?

Q: How come Jack didn't walk funny the morning after? (I'm a sick girl! lol )

Participants included greentree, belfastgirl, the protector, arad-3, kudzudaddy. KYLE-D, LPD730-1, MtBecky, purplemonkey and shasmiles

Sheriff Roland:
further answers/questions from IMDb's thread

To permit survival, three threads have been started by three different people. Here are responses to two of them:

Q: Why does jack like to ride bulls?
A; you need to ask Ennis that question.

Q:Why did'nt Ennis want lamb chops for dinner?
A: Because when he was a kid he loved the hand puppet Lamb Chop and still thinks lamb chop is real

Q: Why do cowboys sing around the camp fire?
A: it's more fun than singing round a washing machine

Q: How do you seperate your sheep from others?
A: You put the whites in one basket and the colors in another...

Q: Why was Ennis carrying the lamb on the horse with him?
A: because there was only two horses.

Q; how many cans of beans can a cowboy eat?

participants - in this incarnation - arad-3, tullio-2, carrie 26, MtBecky

Q: How come Jack didn't walk funny the morning after? (I'm a sick girl! lol )
A: because he'd already had the opportunity to sin.

Q: Why can't Jack and Ennis play on both threads here and Just Curious?
A; It seems that if Jack and Ennis have too much fun everyone gets mad.

Q; Do cowboys prefer briefs or boxers?

participants - in this incarnation - Atlanta 1, and others from previous posts

Phillip Dampier:
If you find participants on IMDb who seem earnestly and genuinely participating in the thread who don't seem to be trolls, you can PM them over there to come visit over here.  Since IMDb seems uninterested in policing their own forums from trolls, we should just poach their users.  :)

Sheriff Roland:
People, this is a FUNNY game!

It's not happening anymore out at IMDb BBM, but I was able to copy the game from the THREE consecutively running threads that all got deleted by Black River in a matter of moments after I put him on ignore (I don't think that that was a coincidence! - The guy really doesn't like me!)

Anyways, here is an agragate of the last stupid questions and their respective stupid answers. I believe that there are still 4 unanswered questions just begging for YOUR stupid answers. And feel free to contribute new stupid questions too! Please - enjoy ....

Q: How come Jack didn't walk funny the morning after? (I'm a sick girl! lol )
A:What? I thought he did!

Q; Do cowboys prefer briefs or boxers?
A; briefs; because the 'fruit of the loom guys' have made a big comeback!
A: Briefs. Boxers are too boxy looking.If that makes any sense lol.

Q: What is it about sleeping under the stars?
A: It's easier to do...Sleeping over the stars causes one to crash into the cow, who regularly insists on jumping over the moon.

Q:Why is Ennis obsessed with tucking in his shirt?
A: Because the inside of his pants are itchy and the shirt is soft.

Q: Why does Jack stick his boot in the fire?
A: Best way to get sheep sh*t off 'em.

Q:What does Aguirre do all year?
A: Stemming the lilacs.

Q: What kind of superpower does Jack's mustache have?
A: Allows the wearer to give condescending fathers-in-law and insecure soulmates a piece of his mind.
A: Can't tell ya explicitly, but Ennis sure appreciates it . . .

Q:What IS Bobby eating BEFORE the Thanksgiving turkey comes out?
A: The turkey is GAY???

Q: Does Lureen sleep with eyes open?
A: She did, until Jack grew his mustache, and then she had them surgically removed.

Q: Why did Cassie try to get a foot rub?
A: Bunion.

Q: Is homosexuality real?
A: only if you close your eyes and tap your heels together and say three times... "theres no place like home, theres no place like home, theres no place like home"
A: No, and neither is breathing, animals, taxes or tooth decay!

Q: Why were the coyotes attracted to the sheep?
A: who would'nt be?

Q: What was the real reason Alma Jr. wanted to live with her Dad?
A; cause Monroe kept saying she still owed him for the damage to his nuts.. (peanuts)

Q: How come Ennis didn't shoot the bear?
A: He was too busy shooting for the moon!

Q: What did Ennis think condiments were?
A: answered by Arad-3 --- look below

Q: why does the sun set in the west?

Q: What do cowboys carry in their saddlebags?
A: answered by MtBecky --- look below

Q: Why did Jack steal Ennis' bloody shirt?

participants - in this incarnation include - Atlanta 1, the protector, LPD730-1, ashleerox16, lauragiggs, arad-03 MtBecky

Q: What did Ennis think condiments were?

A: after supper mints.

Q: Why were they drinking 'OLD Rose' whiskey 'instead of 'Jack Daniels'

Hi Roland.  I see you got it in  over here! That's so cool.


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