Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Burma Shave
TOoP/Bruce:
A classic REPOST from the other board:
Feel free to add your own!
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by ClancyPantsDelMar (Wed Dec 13 2006 22:05:12 )
Anyone remember Burma-Shave?
If not, it was a men’s shaving soap. One way that they advertised it was by putting five signs up on the side of a rural road, each spaced one mile apart. The first four signs made up a little poem and the fifth said “Burma-Shave.” It was fun to travel on rural roads and read the signs. They are a significant part of Americana. If you haven’t heard of them, do an internet search. They’re a hoot.
So how about Burma-Shave on Brokeback Mountain?
Here’s a few to get us started…
When travellin’ through Wyoming,
By truck or train or car,
You may see Jack and Ennis,
Our boys, Twist and Del Mar.
Burma-Shave
Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack jump onto
Ennis’ ----.
Burma-Shave
Ennis Del Mar played a prank,
Spiked the booze his friend Jack drank,
Jack got drunk and dropped his drawers,
Ennis’ jaw dropped to the floor.
Burma-Shave
In a motel, two boys played,
Ennis like an eagle laid,
Jack said “Come and live with me,”
“Cows and calves, we will breed.”
Burma-Shave
”No way,” sadly remarked Ennis,
“Them homophobes, they is a menace.”
“We’ll git together once in a while,”
“If you'll drive a thousand miles.”
Burma-Shave
A moment, artless, charmed – for sure,
For Ennis Jack sought out a cure,
He could not look Jack in the face,
So what we’s got’s a Dozy Embrace.
Burma-Shave
by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix (Thu Dec 14 2006 08:31:44 )
The Coyote goes a-hunting
For lambs that fall a-stray.
But Ennis and his rifle
Will blow them all away.
Burma-Shave
The hapless Elk
through the forest tread.
But Jack got hungry
and now it's dead.
Burma-Shave
Lureen's dark hair
is now quite gold.
She once was fair,
but now she's cold.
Burma-Shave
Alma, at the sink in anger
threw "Jack Nasty!" in Ennis's face.
Ennis reacted hot with danger,
and started a fight at a drinking place.
Burma-Shave
by Clyde-B (Thu Dec 14 2006 10:25:45 )
Jack's mom did cook
She loved to bake
But nobody'd eat
Her cherry cake
Burma Shave
by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix (Thu Dec 14 2006 10:47:17 )
"You stood my son up"
Said Jack's dad.
That made Ennis
Mighty sad.
Burma-Shave
by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 11:40:45 )
"You don't never dance with me,"
Sad complaint of Lureen.
"That's cause I am sorely stalled,
For a diff'rent matin' call."
Burma-Shave
by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 12:05:16 )
Ennis went to play with Jack,
To wife Alma he came back.
Then he sat and watched the tube,
Later we saw Alma's ----s.
Burma-Shave
by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 12:19:15 )
Though others love his facial hair
Randall's hairy as a bear
Or like a caveman in a cave -
I think he needs a
Burma-Shave
by toycoon (Thu Dec 14 2006 12:22:09 )
Cowboy stories, so fine to hear
of rodeos both far and near
Tell us reasons, Daddy, if there's any
Ya ain't got no wings like me and Jenny
Burma Shave
by richardg49 (Thu Dec 14 2006 12:38:52 )
Jack, in the mirror of his truck,
Spied a guy he'd like to **** .
"If him and me was to get depraved
First, I'd look sexier
Burma - shaved."
by True_Oracle_of_Phoenix (Thu Dec 14 2006 13:29:52 )
When Ennis Delmar moved from town --
It turned Alma Jr's blue eyes brown.
Not that she's so very hurt --
She's seeing hunky "roughneck" Curt.
Burma-Shave
by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 13:55:08 )
Hi everyone –
Thanks to everyone for contributing. Every last one of these has made me laugh.
Hi Dancing_Bear and richardg49 –
What I particularly liked about yours is that often Burma-Shave poems would end with the "Burma-Shave” line being a necessary part of the entire poem. Very good!
Here’s a few more…
Cassie danced,
While Ennis lingered,
In his belt loops,
He put his fingers.
Burma-Shave
Jimbo had just drunk a beer,
Next to him sat down a queer,
“I’ll buy you one,” Jack said and winked,
“Could be fun,” the clown did think.
Burma-Shave
Way down south in dusty Texas,
Jack would often think-a Ennis,
Like he was in Brokeback days,
When he lathered
Burma-Shave.
by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 14:50:14 )
In the mirror on his truck
Jack sees one hot hunky - - - cowboy
Plots with care how he'll behave
While lathering up with
Burma Shave
by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 14:59:34 )
Now hear the sad story
Of one Ennis Del Mar
A tragic tale heard
Both near and far
What a fine performance
Heath Ledge gave
He certainly deserves a
Burma Shave!
by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:02:28 )
I like that one, Dancing_Bear!
Here's one for you:
L.D. Newsome had a mouth,
Thought Jack's home was his house,
Homophobic thoughts did speak,
Jack kicked his a$$ into next week.
Burma-Shave
by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:06:04 )
Yippeekai-ay littlewing! Good one!
Ennis whips the towel round
Both his boots soon hit the ground
When his jeans drop we all rave
Except for Jack, who can't see...
Burma Shave
by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:06:39 )
Hi littlewing1957!
Thanks for joining in!
Here's one just for you:
Jack had eyes just like a doe,
Cute he was from head to toe.
Ennis often liked to kiss,
Jack’s great big smile from Tex-iss.
Burma-Shave
by latjoreme (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:06:50 )
When Ennis went to reach and warsh
Jack's need for self-control was harsh
Though more than friendship he was seeking
He swallowed hard and kept from peeking.
Burma Shave
by ClancyPantsDelMar (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:14:15 )
Hi latjoreme!
Thanks for joining in! What a great addition!
Here's one just for you:
In order to play the role of Ennis,
Heath had to cover up his menace,
On his wrist there was a tattoo,
The painted lady had some too.
Burma-Shave
by JPJenny (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:19:47 )
Hi, Clancy,
Inspired by Dancing Bear's first post:
Jack loves Ennis
Who wears no beard
It's a fact you should not dismiss
Randall, you NEED a
Burma-Shave
by latjoreme (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:26:57 )
After a night inside the tent,
Ennis wondered what all of it meant.
He thought he might be in too deep
When he saw a gory slaughtered sheep.
Burma Shave
Ennis told Jack there'd be just one shot.
And was he queer? No, he was not.
Me neither, said Jack, looking down and sighing.
In fact, he knew, they both were lying.
Burma Shave
by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:28:05 )
Thanks, Dancing_Bear! Your posts are brilliant! Keep them coming..please!
by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:29:24 )
Hey JPJenny, thanks for the support! Clancy thanks for the poem!
The weather's cold, we hear Jack grumble
Into the tent does Ennis stumble
When Ennis wakes his face is grave
He rides off without his
Burma Shave
by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:31:03 )
Thanks, Clancy for starting this fun thread! My dad used to talk about the Burma Shave signs!
by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:32:46 )
richardg49, this is great!
by Clyde-B (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:32:58 )
Balls like apples
Peeled potatoes too
Warsh everthing you can reach
Then I'll help you
Burma-Shave
by Dancing_Bear (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:34:02 )
latjoreme I see we are making parallel posts... great minds think alike!
by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:34:32 )
Love it!
by littlewing1957 (Thu Dec 14 2006 15:36:07 )
Good one, Clancy!
Ellemeno:
Thanks for posting, Bruce. Dang, I wish mine had survived.
ifyoucantfixit:
Ennis' folk drove off of a curve.
When their car they forgot to swerve
They only left 23 buck in a can
Ennis was forced to become a man
Burma Shave
i remember these when i was very little
serious crayons:
Here's one I wrote before on imdb but it got deleted by trolls:
"Your weren't fishin," Alma said.
"Shut up," said Ennis, turning red.
"You saw the creel case in my truck
"How dare you imply we went up there to do anything besides fish."
Burma Shave
LauraGigs:
You wrote some other great ones, sweetie! Lots of folks did. I saved the page — will post when I clean the excess verbiage out.
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