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serious crayons:
--- Quote from: Ellemeno on July 26, 2007, 05:37:15 pm ---That wasn't me who said that! My child's only four, I think yelling at her til my throat hurt would be traumatic for her.
--- End quote ---
It was me! And I did it when my children were four, five, six and ... well, they're 11 and 12 I still do it sometimes. Not quite on a daily basis, but still.
Traumatic? Yes, absolutely. My kids' childhoods were -- and still are -- traumatic for all concerned. :-\
--- Quote --- Besides yelling doesn't seem to be the motivator for her. "Wow, all you have left is to put your shoes on and then we can GO!" still works with her pretty well. I do a whole lot of "Hey, as soon as you [FILL IN BLANK A], then we can [FILL IN BLANK B]!!" :)
--- End quote ---
I tried all of those things and more, and none of them ever worked for me. Ever. Yelling until my throat hurt wasn't so much a strategy as an inevitable normal human reaction.
I still get astounded sometimes about how persuadable other kids can be. For example, the other day I heard what appeared to be a grandmother explaining to a girl of maybe four why junk food is bad for you. The girl, immediately and utterly convinced, said passionately, "They shouldn't even sell it!"
Wow, I thought. There are kids in this world who, when they hear an adult tell them something, immediately assume they are right and adopt that opinion themselves.
My kids assume I am right about purely factual matters only. What a word means, for example. When it comes to opinions, they have always, always had their own.
Shasta542:
--- Quote ---I still get astounded sometimes about how persuadable other kids can be. For example, the other day I heard what appeared to be a grandmother explaining to a girl of maybe four why junk food is bad for you. The girl, immediately and utterly convinced, said passionately, "They shouldn't even sell it!"
--- End quote ---
How cute!!
Kelda:
--- Quote from: ineedcrayons on July 27, 2007, 02:18:26 am ---It was me! And I did it when my children were four, five, six and ... well, they're 11 and 12 I still do it sometimes. Not quite on a daily basis, but still.
Traumatic? Yes, absolutely. My kids' childhoods were -- and still are -- traumatic for all concerned. :-\
I tried all of those things and more, and none of them ever worked for me. Ever. Yelling until my throat hurt wasn't so much a strategy as an inevitable normal human reaction.
I still get astounded sometimes about how persuadable other kids can be. For example, the other day I heard what appeared to be a grandmother explaining to a girl of maybe four why junk food is bad for you. The girl, immediately and utterly convinced, said passionately, "They shouldn't even sell it!"
Wow, I thought. There are kids in this world who, when they hear an adult tell them something, immediately assume they are right and adopt that opinion themselves.
My kids assume I am right about purely factual matters only. What a word means, for example. When it comes to opinions, they have always, always had their own.
--- End quote ---
heh, a little bit of yelling every now and then doesn't hurt kids too much I'd say!
I'm sure I'll do a bit of yelling when it comes my turn!
Ellemeno:
Katherine - sounds like you've got real thinkers there. :) For real.
I don't know what to say about the trauma. I believe you, but I sure didn't see any samples of you yelling when I spent four blissful days with you - blissful in significant part BECAUSE of you. :-*
isabelle:
--- Quote from: ineedcrayons on July 27, 2007, 02:18:26 am ---
I tried all of those things and more, and none of them ever worked for me. Ever. Yelling until my throat hurt wasn't so much a strategy as an inevitable normal human reaction.
--- End quote ---
Hi Katherine,
I agree with you on this one! You are not the only one who ends up yelling at your kids, whatever the age! I have done it with mine too (and it still happens , but more rarely), because I do not want to hit them (and it is not my 'natural' reaction to hit either!) But there are times when THEY do the screaming (before YOU), and things can get out of hand and you start yelling.
Like yours, my kids have a mind of their own! And although it is very hard as a parent, in the long run I think it is all the better for them.
Be careful there, though, Katherine: take care of yourself. I heard 7 months ago that I had developed an auto-immune disease that is stressed induced, and I am certain that the level of stress induced by child-rearing and yelling at them (which actually increases the stress) is no alien to my developing this.
Now I try to preserve myself, and just send them to their bedroom if they start being a nuisance, with the advice to stay in there till they calm down, or I "promise" to deprive them of something they like/want to do if they don't. At the ages of 6 and 13, this still works (when all else fails).
And believe me, they are NOT traumatized. They may be pains at home sometimes (and less and less so), but are perfectly behaved at school and at other people's houses, and always get praised for it!
Courage, mon amie!
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