I wish someone would explain to this poor, ignorant female how the additions to the scenes I have described SO OFTEN--detract from...anything...
It doesn't julie. In most cases, a film is shot in 1.79, 1.85, or 2.35 : 1 and then pan-and-scanned or just plain cropped to fit 4:3. Historically, because of it being a physical medium, whatever is filmed is also what appears in the theatre, and the TV version is then just hacked to fit. When this happens, information at the sides are lost making widescreen the superior choice. One thing to remember though, the director and cinematographer know this so when they are designing their shots, most bare in mind that the critical information needs to be in the centre/side of the screen, but there are some that only hold the theatre version as the only one of importance. Blade Runner was a good example of this because there were some scenes that just don't work unless you are watching it in 2.35:1 (the narrowest widescreen).
In the digital age however, a film can be shot with a large amount of "additional" information both horizontally and vertically, and the director can make minor changes to the framing at the time of editing by zooming in and out as needed. With the widescreen release, they look at the motel scene (for example) and want to create an intimate feel so they zoom in to fill the sides of the widescreen, but losing some of the information at the top and bottom (Ennis's arm and ring). The reverse is true when the desired effect is "expanse" and the result is that 4:3 images often seem claustrophobic.
All the talk about the director's vision and such, well these are all true but I think too much emphasis is being used to justify one version over the other for this reason alone. The truth is the entire shot was the director's vision, including all of the things like Ennis' wedding ring, the fireworks crowd, the money at the bar, etc. These are then framed to give the best result possible (or at least the most information visible) for the format in question.
I think it interesting that we have reasons to see both versions. As much as I would like to see a 4:3 version (it's kind of like reading the short-story to get another impression), I'd get more pissed off by the closed-in outdoor shots if I didn't get widescreen. This is especially true because I don't have a 4:3 television (even my PC is widescreen).
Anyway, the bottom line here is to buy the version that's right for your TV and your enjoyment.