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If you were Alma............

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starboardlight:
it's hard to take off the 2006 cap, but I wondered too if she thought of his relationship with Jack as equivalent to or replacing that between her and Ennis. I hate to use this analogy, but if you saw your significant other in a sexual act with a sheep, you're thinking "He sick!" but not necessarily "he's cheating on me." If you had limited exposure to homosexuality, the perception is that those two might as well be the same thing. Am I making sense?

TJ:

--- Quote from: starboardlight on May 06, 2006, 09:32:48 pm ---it's hard to take off the 2006 cap, but I wondered too if she thought of his relationship with Jack as equivalent to or replacing that between her and Ennis. I hate to use this analogy, but if you saw your significant other in a sexual act with a sheep, you're thinking "He sick!" but not necessarily "he's cheating on me." If you had limited exposure to homosexuality, the perception is that those two might as well be the same thing. Am I making sense?

--- End quote ---

Maybe making sense in 2006 . . . but we have to remember that huggin' and kissin' scene in the movie AND the book was in 1967. In rural communities and in the country around that time, those who had limited exposure to the knowledge of the activity of homosexuals would not have even assumed the guys were having sex.

And, in 1967, if my parents had seen me kiss another man on the mouth and hugged him in a bear hug, they might have been amused at the overt display of public affection; but, they would not have even connected sex with it.

My parents had no problem with loved ones of the same sex kissing each other on the mouth. Except when one of us had a cold or the flu, my father always kissed me on the mouth. No one would have thought of him as effeminate.

Oh, but, there was no way that I would kiss a man in 1967 after Feb. 15 because I was in Vietnam in the Army until a year later.

serious crayons:

--- Quote from: vkm91941 on May 06, 2006, 08:05:47 pm ---Hell yes!....Marriage is a covenant relationship and fidelity is the one thing  I require with no compromise.

--- End quote ---

Yes, but if Ennis were the ideal husband in every other way I can see trying to ignore it. He's not exactly, though ....

However,


--- Quote from: delalluvia on May 06, 2006, 07:59:09 pm ---Even if Alma tore that one up, and Ennis didn't see it, as I recall, there wasn't much info on it, just a kind of 'hey, things still look good for our trip' kind of message, one Jack wouldn't have been expecting a reply to and one Ennis could have easily not needed to read anyway.  He hadn't heard from Jack, he would assume things were still on.

--- End quote ---

Yes, I also assumed in that one case the plans were already firm enough that hiding that particular postcard didn't throw them off. But then what is the point, from a storytelling perspective, of showing her hiding it? Did she hide others, perhaps with more crucial info? And if not, why not? Looks like Alma is the one who usually gets the mail. So does she interfere or doesn't she?!

Penthesilea:
I think the circumstances of given place and time are very important to Alma's reaction. Not only the men, but also the women were expected to marry and raise children (even more than the men). A marriage was often the only chance to leave the own parent's house for a woman. Many women took not whom they loved, but whom they were able to "get" and whom seemed to be not a too bad choice.

Most of the (now elder) women in my family did not marry out of romantic love, but:

-  to be provided/cared for (?right expression? - hope you get what I mean) in a social and monetary way
-  to not end as a old damsel
-  to be able to lead an adult life away from their parents
-  because they were pregnant

It was like "you take what you can get and try to make the best out of it".
And after the choice was made once, they had to stand it. No matter whether the husband was an alcoholic who wasted all the money on drink, beat her and/or the children, committed adultery, and so on.

I think Alma, too, tried to make the best out of her situation. She tried to stand her life with Ennis as it was, because at first she saw not other possibility and she was raised to endure it. But as the years went by, the times changed. To leave a husband was no longer impossible and Monroe was waiting in the wings.

And for the OP question: what I would have done if I was Alma? Only thing I know for sure is that I would not have kept silent. Never. This is not in my character. I would have confronted him as soon as he got back from their first trip. Maybe I would have gone along with the social pressure and let the marriage go on (in the sixties whith said circumstances), as a sham marriage. But internally I would have made things very clear.
I hope I would have had the courage to end the marriage years earlier than Alma did. But I don't know for sure.

delalluvia:
I'm with star, I didn't think Alma said, "Jack Twist?  Jack Nasty!" because she thought Ennis was cheating on her with other women, but because what she believed they were doing was disgusting in her eyes.

Pent is thinking the same way I am.  In some situations, I say some, because some women of the time did in fact get divorced without a heavy stigma on them, but I remember reading about the Kennedys when Rose left her husband because of the endless affairs.  Her family did not back her up.  She had 'made her bed and she must lie in it', so she went back to him.  She certainly had no other place to go considering she had the 9 children to think about as well.

Now TJ has commented that in certain situations the wives may have suspected something was up with their husbands and their 'friends' but didn't know enough about sexual relationships to understand that he was having a gay affair considering the isolation of their living areas.

I agree, this is also why I think the movie makers made sure Movie Alma saw the two actually making out instead of Book Alma simply seeing Ennis' back while they tusseled on the stoop which could account for her staying with Ennis - because she didn't know what was she was seeing - and finally leaving him because he was a crap provider and companion.

This is also why I don't agree when people say Junior 'knew' what her father was.

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