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Favorite Lines From "Everybody Loves Raymond"
David In Indy:
Here's another funny part from "Bad Moon Rising"
Debra: What was the tape recorder for Ray? We're you planning on taping me so you could prove to the guys what a terrible person I am? "Hey step right up guys and listen to the terrible WITCH who killed my good time!"
Ray: No. It's just for us.
Debra: Yeah. Where's my tape recorder Ray? Where was MY tape recorder when I was in labor with the twins for 36 hours, and you were asking the nurse if the TV gets ESPN?
Ray: Well, I mean, 36 hours... that's not a SHORT time.
Debra: Yeah. Guess what? It's even longer when you're trying to push two human beings out of your body while your husband is going "Does this hospital have fudge sickles?" !!
(Ray backs up, trips on the couch and lands on the floor)
Debra: Yeah, where's my tape recorder huh? Or when you ask me why I get so upset when I find your underwear in the KITCHEN??
Debra: Or when you start snoring at my GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL?!!
Debra: Or when you tape a FOOTBALL GAME over our WEDDING VIDEO!!!!
Ray: (still laying on the floor) Do you really need a tape recorder? You seem to remember everything!
:laugh: :laugh:
injest:
BAAAWAAAHAAAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
David In Indy:
--- Quote from: injest on August 25, 2007, 12:04:27 am ---BAAAWAAAHAAAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
--- End quote ---
Glad you're enjoying these, Jess! :D
Here's another one!
Robert: You know when I had trouble sleeping, mom used to do something for me. Remember mom?
Marie: Yeah.
Robert: One of my best memories growing up. She would give me a warm cup of that colored sugar water. It'd put me right to sleep.
Frank: That was booze.
Marie: FRANK!!
Robert: BOOZE??
Frank: A stiff shot of sambuca in there, and it was "Lights out, Bobby!"
Robert: You gave me liquor?
Marie: Not liquor, dear. Liqueur.
Robert: I don't believe it! All those special times, they were just...
Frank: Happy hours!
:laugh: :laugh:
David In Indy:
Debra announces to the family that she's applying for a job....
(Debra runs into the kitchen holding a blouse)
Debra: Oh my God, Oh my God, I have to iron!
Marie: Don't panic dear, I'll walk you through it.
Ray: What are you doing?
Debra: I've got to iron my blouse for my interview! It's exciting isn't it? Me going back to work?
Marie: Oh yes dear. I can't help worrying about the children though. They're already so thin.
Debra: Oh, that reminds me Ray, you'll have to pick up the twins from preschool.
Marie: And I'll wait for them here. Someone has to be home now that they're latchkey children.
Debra: Marie. Don't try to make me feel guilty about this.
Marie: Oh, no dear! I respect your ambition. I mean, most women would settle for having....EVERYTHING!
(Ray nods in the affirmative)
Debra: What are you nodding at, Ray?
Ray: I'm not nodding. I was just thinking of a song.
Robert: Don't pay attention to them Deb. This is a family of dream squashers.
Ray: Dream squashers?
Robert: That's right! Everything I ever dreamed of they said I couldn't do. The drums...
Marie: Oh please! The drums were the WORST!
Robert: Major league baseball. My career in space.
Ray: You were six feet tall in the third grade. They'd have to fold you in half to stuff you inside the space capsule.
Robert: Mission Control, man! I could have been Houston. You go for it Deb. Drop a rocket on your back and fly. Fly from the dream squashers.
Debra: Thanks Robert. I think I'll just take the train.
Ray: Train? Where is this job?
Debra: In Manhattan.
Marie: That's a long commute. It's an hour there and an hour back!
Debra: Oh yeah. I forgot about that! I'll be able to read.... or just sit quietly.
Ray: And watch public urination.
Robert (looks over at Ray with disgust) Dreeeeeam Squasher!
:laugh: :laugh:
mariez:
David, I've been laughing my way through through this thread! :laugh: These are hilarious. How do you know these word-for-word? Are you copying from the scripts or from video clips?
There was a great episode on last night were Ray's friend Gianni was supposed to be remodeling their kitchen and installing a new stove. And when Debra complains that she doesn't have a stove to cook on Ray says something like "Well, it's not like Van Gogh losing his paintbrush." :laugh:
And at the end, after Ray has hurt his back trying to shove the stove that's too wide into place he tells Debra he'll be "out of commission" for a while. And, of course, she tells him ......"Well, it's not like Van Gogh losing his paintbrush." :laugh: :laugh:
Marie
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