BetterMost Community Blogs > Br. Patrick & His Near-Death Experiences
br. patrick and his near-death experiences...
Lynne:
You're right about bedtime, bud - get some sleep. I'm almost ready myself.
--- Quote from: Daniel on October 11, 2007, 02:35:35 am ---I think a lot of what might have happened in these past 10 years is undue pressure from my parents. Being the firstborn, I suppose I'm supposed to live up to all the expectations they have of me. I think they saw my interest in acting more as a childish play thing, so they discouraged me from pursuing it later on because they didn't realize it was so important to me. Being the firstborn, I was afraid to tell them how important it was to me. I was afraid to do a lot of things with my parents for myself, so often sacrificed what I wanted for what I thought was the greater good.
--- End quote ---
This makes complete sense to me, especially considering I'm also firstborn daughter who only in the last decade realized it was OK to feel things like anger and to have plans of my own. Let's talk this to death later.
--- Quote ---Thank you for your support, Lynne. Since we've actually met in person, and had a chance to talk for a bit, the fact that you can recognize what I'm talking about means the world to me. It just fits... somehow. And I'm starting to feel ashamed that I didn't go after my dreams when I had the chance, even if I thought I was doing the right thing at the time....
--- End quote ---
I understand why you're feeling that shame - I'd pick a different word - maybe 'disappointment in yourself'? Shame should be reserved for when you've done a WRONG - I don't see that here. Don't you think that's just more wasted energy that you could be directing elsewhere? Feel it, because you need to feel things, instead of suppress your feelings, but set a time and move past it. If I'm learning anything from BBM, it's that I want to keep moving forward, growing, understanding myself. No, my life at 39 is not how I envisioned it at 19; but I'm determined that when I look back at 59, it's going to be with a helluva lot less regret for opportunities missed. And if that means I fall flat on my ass a few times, so be it. There are loads of friends here who will understand and fully support you. It only counts as a failure, IMO, if you let it paralyze you and you can't get past it. It's the process, the experience, that's important. It's highly likely that for some cosmic reason if you'd 'gone for it' before, there would have been other problems - maybe you wouldn't have been mature enough to make the right choices or even understand them?
If we're going to go with Brother Patrick's prayer, then we've got to believe that the circumstances are being engineered NOW. Otherwise, it would have happened back then, right?
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: Daniel on October 11, 2007, 01:42:41 am ---Well I have been tossing and turning in my bed for about an hour and a half, now.... but I think its a good thing. I actually have a slightly stronger perception of where my life is going right now... and I think I have the perfect prayer to thank for it.
I was laying in bed and I remembered to pray the prayer. I got it wrong the first time, saying Lord, Engineer my circumstances according to your will. After a few minutes of laying in the dark, I realized this, and prayed it again, Engineer my circumstances, Lord, according to your will. But for some reason, I have a feeling that I am supposed to be moving on with my life... it's burning brilliantly within me, though I have no idea of what or how to move on, and what's more is that I have an immense fear that somewhere along the way I made some wrong turns and it will take a large amound of backtracking to get where I'm supposed to be. So I prayed the prayer one more time... Engineer my circumstances, Lord, according to your will, but please - do it quickly.
Now that I am seeing this way... now that I am remembering the thrill of the stage, and wonder what the hell I've done to myself the past ten years of my life, I am really afraid... I don't know how to get back into that experience, don't know if I even have the skills to do so... just a great desire. And I don't know if anyone will want me once I get there, or if I will be able to make one damn bit of difference in those experiences. So I'm stuck... or so it seems. I will continue to pray the perfect prayer... but I think I might need others to pray for me too.
--- End quote ---
Daniel~!
Your thoughts tell me that you received the Spiritual 'Gift' that I sent you. Keep repeating "The Perfect Prayer" and when the time is RIGHT things will happen, I promise!
You have had quite the life! I can see how you can be confused when you are so talented in SO MANY areas! And I do pray for you every day!
{{Cyberhugs}}
br. p
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: Lynne on October 11, 2007, 03:06:51 am ---(to Daniel) If we're going to go with Brother Patrick's prayer, then we've got to believe that the circumstances are being engineered NOW. Otherwise, it would have happened back then, right?
--- End quote ---
'don't want to be all holy on your ass' but that's Romans 8:28 and it's TRUE~!
{{Cyberhugs}}
br. p
ifyoucantfixit:
Daniel too has a very special gift to share with the rest of us..he is wonderful. :)
Br. Patrick:
--- Quote from: ifyoucantfixit on October 11, 2007, 06:50:39 pm --- Daniel too has a very special gift to share with the rest of us..he is wonderful. :)
--- End quote ---
Daniel simply and absolutely blows my mind. I've never 'met' someone so intelligent and so emotionally sensitive as well. He is truly a gift to us all and deserves the title: BetterMost Sage!
And if you think that he is gifted now, just wait! ::)
{{Cyberhugs}}
br. p
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