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Cellar Scribblings
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on March 20, 2016, 12:00:41 pm ---Some weekends I feel like the only human I'll talk to is maybe a grocery store cashier.
--- End quote ---
And that is precisely why I'm driven to hang out at a bar, aka the watering hole, every Saturday night (recently, Fridays also, because of all the weekends I've been away visiting my dad), and made friends with the staff, and end up staying to hang out with them well past closing. :-\
CellarDweller:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on March 20, 2016, 12:00:41 pm ---I like how you always decorate for holidays! :D
--- End quote ---
I enjoy decorating my windows for the holidays, kind of a festive way of marking the passage of time.
Regarding the rest of your posts, have you tried to Google some groups that enjoy doing what you do? Like a women's hiking group or bowling group or such? You could make some new friends that way.
brianr:
Do you have an activities group in your city. I belong to the 60+ group (don't be put off by the name, I do not know your age but the constitution says you have to be over 40 although I think most members are over 50 because we are all at least partly retired, most activities are during weekdays.)
There are 4 walking groups of different fitness, I run the ramblers and sometimes go with the hikers. The trampers are far above my capability and the walkers are little too sedate. A movie club (3rd sunday), coffee and culture (usually an art gallery or museum 3rd friday) tavern lunch (4th Wednesday) monthly meeting (1st wednesday) There are other groups, book clubs, bus outings. mah jong, line dancing, craft, indoor bowls. When I moved to Dunedin 6 years ago I did not know anyone. Now with that and church I have more friends than at anytime since my university days. I perhaps knew more when working in high schools but the were not all friends.
serious crayons:
Thanks, you guys, I have thought of some of those things and think I will start doing them. For the past year or so I've been working full time and then trying in my spare time to get a book proposal written (that I'll then start shopping around), plus getting my house cleaned up so that I can eventually move. So I tell myself I'm busy. In an ideal world, I would like to just have the presence of someone else around -- like a roommate or a commune or a spouse.
But I'm coming to think I have to just take the time and make more efforts at building outside communities -- whether through Meet Up groups or a church or whatever. A regular watering hole doesn't seem quite socially acceptable for women in the same way it does men. But I do have a bar within walking distance, so even that could be a possibility occasionally.
Of course, nothing is more lonely than sitting at a bar for a long time by yourself. :-\
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on March 20, 2016, 09:39:50 pm ---Of course, nothing is more lonely than sitting at a bar for a long time by yourself. :-\
--- End quote ---
That's quite true. And even I have my nights at the watering hole--nights when I'm there too late because I have no one to socialize with until my friend Phil the head waiter and terror of the dining room ;D gets done work and gets his shift drink. And I imagine that it's true what you say about the social unacceptability of women hanging out in bars--I guess even the "regulars" at Cheers were men, weren't they?
Gosh, this is suddenly making me realize how fortunate I am, and I guess I'm now reaping the results of 30 years (come this November) of living in the Philadelphia Gayborhood, and last night was a good example: As soon as I walked into the bar, I ran into an old trick. ::) Then there was a couple from church, and a "brother" from my leather club who doesn't usually hang out there. I had a pleasant conversation with a total stranger that began because he asked me if the bar seat next to me was taken. (I said no, and he should grab it if he wanted to sit down before someone else did.) Then I finally met up with one of my usual drinkin' buddies--I had missed him in the crowd (apparently I walked right by him and didn't notice him. ::) ) Then some other friends on the bar staff came in; they were off work because the lesbian daughter of the chief of security got married yesterday, and her father looked quite spiffy in a dinner jacket--never mind that he had spent Friday night pissing and moaning about how much he didn't want to go to his own daughter's wedding (he's gay so the lesbian part wasn't an issue). Then finally the terror of the dining room finished his shift, and we sat and chatted for a bit! :laugh:
When I think about all this, it's kind of astonishing. :-\ I guess I really do need to be more conscious--and grateful.
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