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Cellar Scribblings
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on August 25, 2020, 01:33:45 pm ---How so? Don't you get vacation time at your job? Or do you mean we're lucky to get a scheduled staycation vs. an indefinite length of "staycation"? In which case, yes, we're fortunate that we have jobs to take staycations from!
--- End quote ---
I mean you're fortunate not to be in the situation I am with my father. I have "time when I'm not working," but for the foreseeable future I have no such thing as a vacation or a staycation. (He's now started asking me, "When are you coming home?" He never used to do that.)
(I know Chucks parents are older, but at least he's geographically close to them.)
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on August 25, 2020, 02:05:58 pm ---I mean you're fortunate not to be in the situation I am with my father. I have "time when I'm not working," but for the foreseeable future I have no such thing as a vacation or a staycation.
--- End quote ---
I'm still not sure I totally understand the distinction. My staycation was basically time when I wasn't working. Except I was catching up on chores and doing some "hobby writing" (creative but rarely remunerative creative nonfiction). I made some actual progress and tried to spend some time each day just relaxing, but I had to keep reminding myself not to feel guilty about it.
But maybe you just mean I could relax, in a way, without worrying that at any moment I might have to leap into action to care for a parent. That much is true, although I've done some of that in the distant past.
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on August 25, 2020, 03:32:22 pm ---But maybe you just mean I could relax, in a way, without worrying that at any moment I might have to leap into action to care for a parent. That much is true, although I've done some of that in the distant past.
--- End quote ---
That's more or less what I meant. You had time to do things that you wanted to do. It's not even having to leap into action at any time. Even just visiting him is not a vacation. It's become stressful in itself. God forgive me.
CellarDweller:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on August 25, 2020, 06:07:28 pm ---That's more or less what I meant. You had time to do things that you wanted to do. It's not even having to leap into action at any time. Even just visiting him is not a vacation. It's become stressful in itself. God forgive me.
--- End quote ---
There is no reason you need to be forgiven.
I'm not an only child, and both of my parents are in good health. That being said, my mother is an only child, and I saw first hand what she went through with both of her parents, and the fact that she lived three and 1/2 hours away from them, on top of that, mom didn't drive.
when her mom was in the Alzheimer's facility, mom was always stressed about calls from them. Did gram fall? Did she have an episode and hit someone? Did someone have an episode and hit her? Was she comfortable?
When gram passed, my mother was there in the room and had her chance to say good bye. The next morning, she told me that she felt guilty saying it, but it was the first night that she had a good night sleep in a long time. I told her there was nothing to feel guilty about, it just meant she no longer had to exhaust herself with worry.
Taking care of anyone is mentally and physically draining.
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: CellarDweller on August 25, 2020, 10:28:52 pm ---There is no reason you need to be forgiven.
I'm not an only child, and both of my parents are in good health. That being said, my mother is an only child, and I saw first hand what she went through with both of her parents, and the fact that she lived three and 1/2 hours away from them, on top of that, mom didn't drive.
when her mom was in the Alzheimer's facility, mom was always stressed about calls from them. Did gram fall? Did she have an episode and hit someone? Did someone have an episode and hit her? Was she comfortable?
When gram passed, my mother was there in the room and had her chance to say good bye. The next morning, she told me that she felt guilty saying it, but it was the first night that she had a good night sleep in a long time. I told her there was nothing to feel guilty about, it just meant she no longer had to exhaust herself with worry.
Taking care of anyone is mentally and physically draining.
--- End quote ---
Thanks for that, Chuck.
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