BetterMost Community Blogs > Cellar Scribblings
Cellar Scribblings
ifyoucantfixit:
--- Quote from: CellarDweller on November 14, 2007, 10:28:50 pm ---lmao!
Ok, firstly, the "bar fly" is not one of the terms. You're close, though.
Secondly, I must say, I could be wrong with these definitions. The first two were explained to me by a drag queen in NYC bar called "Pieces" at a karaoke show. The 3rd by a waitress that claimed that was ther title.
Fag Hag: A woman who hangs out with gay men, and has an attraction to them. Possibly gets them drunk hoping something will happen.
Fruit Fly: A woman who hangs out with gay men because she enjoys their company.
Flame Dame: A woman that gay men love/idolize. Could be famous, or non famous.
--- End quote ---
That is all very demeaning Chuck, Chuckie, Charles..........
You dont think very highly of women if you think like that...very stereotypically mean.
CellarDweller:
--- Quote from: ifyoucantfixit on November 17, 2007, 01:56:20 pm ---That is all very demeaning Chuck, Chuckie, Charles..........
You dont think very highly of women if you think like that...very stereotypically mean.
--- End quote ---
If I offended you, Jan, or any of the great women here on this board, I apologize!
My life would not be what it is now without the support of all the straight women I have met, and love. I use terms like that with humor in mind, and often use terms that others may find offensive as humor.
Like the "fanny pack" that I have, which I refer to as my "fag bag", or "mariconera" (I was told this was the Spanish equivilent).
In fact, a few years ago, I explained the difference between a "fag hag" and a "fruit fly" on a music website. My screen name there was "ChuckD" A month after, there was a softball game where a bunch of the members met up. 10 of the women arrived and greeted me wearing computer generated t-shirts that said "ChuckD's Fruit Flies". They knew I had meant it all in fun.
And because of that, I always assume that everyone will respond that way, which is wrong.
So again, I apologize.
ifyoucantfixit:
No harm done. I had just ran back thru your blog to find that, after seeing some reference to it later on.
It just seemed that there was no room for any other reasons to have a woman as a friend. Some true, and
unincumbered friendship,,or caring..
So moving on........... :)
CellarDweller:
Hello BetterMost.
I spent the morning with my friends (a married couple) who had the unfortunate task of laying her father and his father-in-law to rest today. It was an unexpected death.
Also spent some time reviewing some of the more serious blog entries in this section of the forum, and it has me thinking of when I was planning my own suicide.
It wasn't long after graduation from high school. I was never the "big man on campus". Hell, I wasn't even "man on campus". Spent most of my time in school on the run from others who had made me a target. I wasn't "out" but apparently, it was known (assumed) who I was, and I took a lot of verbal and physical abuse for it. Everyone I knew was happy for graduation, to move on to the next phase of life. I was happy to be away from them, and took a job at a local supermarket.
Downfall, that same market hired a few of the guys I was running from, so the abuse just moved from school to work, in the form of sexually explict graffitti and slurs about me on the walls of the men's and women's room. The restrooms were opened to the public, and I was the only Chuck in the place, so it was pretty obvious who was being written about. It was 1987, and no protection for "sexual orientation" on company records. When I took the issue to my bosses, the response was "If we repaint the restrooms, they'll only do it again."
I felt I couldn't quit, and explain to my parents why. Not ready to take that step, so way before Brokeback, I learned if you couldn't fix it, you had to stand it.
The last straw came when a customer decided to pic a fight with me, and called me a 'homo' on my register in front of other customers.
When it was time to go, I walked over to the pharmacy section, grabbed a bottle of sleeping pills, and stuff it in my back pack. Took them to my room that night with a bottle of water, and finding myself without words, wrote the words to this song on a sheet of paper, and planned that as my note.
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIBzbdo2LjU[/youtube]
After getting the top off the bottle, I thought of my parents finding me that way the next day, and couldn't do that to them. I shredded the lyrics, and went to the bathroom and flushed the pills, telling myself that God doesn't give you more than you can bear.
20 years later, I look back remembering that I had no idea things would get better. I remember that pain, and I'm quite surprised I am here to tell the tale. It hurt like hell, then. It was the darkest period of my life, and I hope to never be there again....
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: ifyoucantfixit on November 17, 2007, 01:56:20 pm --- That is all very demeaning.
--- End quote ---
Terms like fag hag and fruit fly are demeaning and mean, but they're no worse than some of the terms we apply to some of our own, like (forgive me), dairy queen. :(
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