BetterMost Community Blogs > Messages From The Heartland
The Confessions of a Gay Altar Boy
southendmd:
--- Quote from: Scott on October 24, 2007, 03:09:36 pm ---Something tells me two things:
1. Neither Paul or David are that kind of guy
2. David is gonna be pissed when he sees what we have done here
--- End quote ---
David clearly said a few hundred pages ago in his blog, "I ain't that innocent."
I take the fifth.
Sorry, David, for messing up your serious sub-blog.
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: southendmd on October 24, 2007, 03:16:38 pm ---David clearly said a few hundred pages ago in his blog, "I ain't that innocent."
I take the fifth.
Sorry, David, for messing up your serious sub-blog.
--- End quote ---
It'll be all right, I'm sure. David knows I think he's cute as a button. I just hope there aren't any horror stories or sad stories. :( :-\
injest:
but if there are we will all stand behind him and give him lots of these: {{{}}}}
and a bunch of these: :-* :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
Heck! I say we give him a bunch of those even if they are all happy stories!
(and David NEVER gets really really mad at anyone - too much)
David, you have us all ears! please come tell us.
David In Indy:
For those of you who are religious, you may find what I'm about to say extremely offensive.
Continue reading at your own peril....
You've been warned!!
All of the following stories are completely true. Well, they are completely true to the best of my memory.
The bells of Saint Matthew ring loud and proud. It's 9:50 AM. The "Call To Mass" as they referred to it. Everyone knows what time Mass starts. 10:00 AM. For GOD SAKES, what's up with those damn bells? Nobody DARES to walk into Mass late. If you can't make it on time, it's better not to show up at all. That's what I always said. I remember once a family walked into Mass during the Kyrie, and the priest halted right there and then, stared at the offending family (along with the entire congregation) and shamed said family in front of God, all of Heaven and all of creation too.
That family was MY family. And we never did it again. Nobody did.
So, now you know why the need for these bells are, well, needless! But they rang them anyway. Two entire towers full of them...16 in total. All ringing at once. I love church bells at Christmas time, but the rest of the year.... FORGET IT!!
Back in Catholic School, we had to go up there into those towers and clean the cob webs off the bell mechanisms. Child Labor if you ask me. And of course, they always forgot to turn the damn things off while we were up there. The bells were set to chime once an hour during daylight hours and 10 minutes before and after each Mass. Covering your hands over your ears was only marginally helpful. The sound travelled straight through them. I think the priests and the nuns had a good laugh at our expense. I could just picture them down there laughing. Yeah. ha ha. Real funny. Now I think I know why I'm so hard of hearing. In my left ear especially.
Say what, ya'll?? ;)
More later.....
David In Indy:
Serving Mass
I couldn't believe it when the church approached me to be an altar boy. Me?? Well, alrighty then!
Hell yes, I went for it. What gay Catholic boy wouldn't? It was my one chance to put on a dress (they called them vestments, but I say tomato, you say tomahto) stand in front of a bunch of religious rights and get away with it! Drag honey! That's right! It was the Catholic church who taught me all about drag. But I digress.
Communion was fun too. Hunks. Lots and lots of gorgeous handsome hunks. All those guys I went to school with. And there they were, KNEELING in front of me, eyes closed, tongues hanging out, as I pressed a gold plate to their necks. I damn near passed out from all the heat.
They finally got airconditioning two years after I stopped serving at Mass. Not that it mattered much. I watched an altar boy pass out during communion even after airconditioning was installed in the church. I'll bet you dollars to donuts he was gay. Poor guy. We Catholics have funny ways of outing the gay members in our congregation. :-\
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