Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Gay Translations Guide
DecaturTxCowboy:
Gay Translator
I want a commitment.
I'm sick of masturbation.
Haven't I seen you before?
Nice ass.
I need you.
My hand is tired.
You're the only man I've ever cared about.
You are the only man who hasn't rejected me.
I'm a Romantic.
I'm poor.
I really want to get to know you better.
So I can tell my friends about it.
It's just orange juice, try it.
3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head.
He's kinda cute.
I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue!
He's not my type.
He won't sleep with me.
I miss you so much
I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good.
I had a wonderful time last night.
Who the hell are you?
Do you love me?
I've done something stupid and you might find out.
Do you 'really' love me?
I've done something stupid and you're going to find out.
I'll give you a call.
I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again.
I've been thinking a lot.
You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.
I think we should just be friends.
You're ugly.
I've learned a lot from you.
Next!!!!
TJ:
Doesn't this from the book fit under this thread?
--- Quote ---"Try this one," said Jack, "and I'll say it just one time. Tell you what, we could a had a good life together, a fuckin real good life. You wouldn't do it, Ennis, so what we got now is Brokeback Mountain. Everthing built on that. It's all we got, boy, fuckin all, so I hope you know that if you don't never know the rest. Count the damn few times we been together in twenty years. Measure the fuckin short leash you keep me on, then ask me about Mexico and then tell me you'll kill me for needin it and not hardly never gettin it. You got no fuckin idea how bad it gets. I'm not you. I can't make it on a couple a high-altitude fucks once or twice a year. You're too much for me, Ennis, you son of a whoreson bitch. I wish I knew how to quit you."
--- End quote ---
SFEnnisSF:
GAY TERMS
After-hours -- where you go when the bars are closed and you still haven't found someone to sleep with.
Baggage -- the excuse people use to punish their current boyfriends for things that their past boyfriends have done to them.
BiCurious -- gay
Bisexual -- gay
Bitter -- what all gay men are destined to become. Caused by drama and stress (see below).
Bottom -- orientation preferred by 95% of the gay population
Butch -- what gay men who don't think they act gay call themselves. Actual butch men will never need to use this term.
Cuddle -- sexual activity in which there is no exchange of bodily fluid.
Drama -- an imaginary condition made up by sad, lonely individuals with no real problems in their life who feel the need to drag stable, well-balanced individuals who are trying to make a valuable contribution to society down to their level in hopes of making themselves feel better.
Ex -- 1) anyone you've slept with more than once.
2) a club drug popular in the late 90's.
Excedrin -- what every gay man should have in his medicine cabinet
Foam -- not sure anymore, as we haven't seen it in over a year.
Gaylights -- an unnatural highlighting of the hair that no straight man would be caught dead with.
Gurl -- the first word of every sentence. "Gurl, you 'bout ready to go?" or "Gurl, I haven't had sex in 3 days!"
Gym Bunny -- a troll who has realized that his only chance of getting laid is to work out every day.
Hayyy -- a greeting. The gayer you are, the more Y's you put at the end.
Homewrecker -- the person who stole your ex
Omaha Diet -- unnatural weight loss caused by nonprescription medications. Also known as Jenny Crank.
One Night Stand -- a very short-term relationship, the end of which is signified by someone putting on their pants.
Philson Sex -- sexual activity in which everybody wants to get off, but nobody does. Enables you to have a one night stand without actually becoming classified as a whore, yet still significantly more intensive than cuddling.
Rough Trade -- a one night stand that you will later pretend never happened.
Shot -- when you need to get drunker faster
Stress -- a non-imaginary condition brought on by the drama of others
Top -- see Bottom
Trade -- what you bring home from the bar, paid for in services rendered.
Troll - anyone older than you that wants you to go home with them.
Trick -- See Trade
Twelve -- how old you are if you're not 21
Universe -- the area of space contained within a three-foot diameter of every gay man.
Versatile -- glorified Bottom (but will top if absolutely necessary)
Whore -- anyone who has more sex than you.
Lumière:
LOL! ;D
These are hilarious!
DecaturTxCowboy:
If he says he's a top...he's versatile. If he says he's versatile, he's a bottom....
If he says he's a bottom - he's being honest.
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