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serious crayons:
--- Quote from: MaineWriter on February 27, 2007, 02:01:52 pm ---Lance flew on a plane for the first time at 11 months. We've taken both our children to restaurants all their lives. Never once have we been asked to leave, never once have our children screamed, yelled, thrown a tantrum or ruined someone else's flying or dining experience. It's called parenting folks. If you don't know how to take care of your kids and have them behave appropriately, then the remediation needs to occur at the parenting, not the banning, level.
My 2 cents.
--- End quote ---
Here's mine:
If someone took his first airplane ride at 16, he would not spend the flight crying loudly, running up and down the aisles, kicking the seat in front of him, kneeling backwards on his seat to stare at the strangers in the next row and throwing up on the floor because he had never been taught how to behave properly on a plane. Same for a 16-year-old in a restaurant for the first time. She might use the wrong fork (a mistake that can easily be corrected by simply pointing it out), but won't hide under the tablecloth or run around the room or throw food. Behavioral changes as people grow up often have less to do with training than with maturity.
Adults in new situations do not revert to preschool behaviors. They usually observe other adults and model their behavior accordingly. Many small children are not able to do this.
So ideally, the parents introduce their kids to those places only when they are developmentally ready. That's why you rarely see small children in really fancy restaurants. And why, when I do see little kids misbehaving in fancy restaurants, I blame their parents -- not for failing to train them properly but for taking them somewhere they're not ready to be. The trouble with airplanes is that, unlike fancy restaurants, small children sometimes have to use them even when they're not mature enough to behave properly.
As the parent of two very spirited, active, rambunctious kids, I get huffy when someone blames their behavior on faulty parenting. I have a friend whose daughter will sit at restaurant table surrounded by adults for literally hours, quietly drawing, never a peep out of her. No amount of lecturing, training, threatening or punishing would change my kids into that kind of kid. As a result, my sons have visited fewer nice restaurants than my friend's daughter.
Natali, your post came in as I was writing this. I agree with everything you said.
MaineWriter:
Katherine...I agree with you. And I think a big point that needs to be realized is the difference between "have to" and "want to"...as in, some times small children have to fly on planes. I have been in situations where my small children had to be in a fancy restaurant (when they were small) because there was no other option available.
As a parent, in both cases, I planned ahead: for the plane trip when Lance was 11 months, we had snacks, pacifiers, toys, and dramamine. It works wonders in making a child sleep on a long flight. For restaurants we've brought coloring books, small toys, etc.
And sometimes, you have to admit to yourself that the child is tired enough or cranky enough that going out is not in the best interest of anybody. Ask me about the time I ate hotdogs from the 7-11 in Stockholm and passed up the chance to eat a marvelous dinner in a Swedish restaurant because my children were not fit for public consumption! Sigh...
I am not saying it is only the parent, but the parent is the one making the decision, which I think is your point, too.
L
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: MaineWriter on February 27, 2007, 02:44:54 pm ---Katherine...I agree with you. And I think a big point that needs to be realized is the difference between "have to" and "want to"...as in, some times small children have to fly on planes. I have been in situations where my small children had to be in a fancy restaurant (when they were small) because there was no other option available.
As a parent, in both cases, I planned ahead: for the plane trip when Lance was 11 months, we had snacks, pacifiers, toys, and dramamine. It works wonders in making a child sleep on a long flight. For restaurants we've brought coloring books, small toys, etc.
And sometimes, you have to admit to yourself that the child is tired enough or cranky enough that going out is not in the best interest of anybody. Ask me about the time I ate hotdogs from the 7-11 in Stockholm and passed up the chance to eat a marvelous dinner in a Swedish restaurant because my children were not fit for public consumption! Sigh...
--- End quote ---
OK, Leslie, I'm glad we agree! :) BTW, I had this brilliant idea when my kids were little to produce ready-made boxes that people could take for kids on planes or in restaurants, containing little toys and snacks and puzzles. They could be geared to age and maybe gender. If I'd figured out a way to get them manufactured and marketed, I'd be rich right now!
But, like most of my ideas, it never come to pass ...
David:
My Aunt used to have a better idea. When a car load of chatty kids became too unbearable, she'd pass out grapes and tell the kids to have a contest to see who could keep the grape in their mouth the longest without biting it. LOL.
At work, we have one or two girls who just talk way too much. I have often joked that I am going to bring in Salt Water Taffy for them to suck on to shut them up.
MaineWriter:
--- Quote from: latjoreme on February 27, 2007, 03:14:24 pm ---OK, Leslie, I'm glad we agree! :) BTW, I had this brilliant idea when my kids were little to produce ready-made boxes that people could take for kids on planes or in restaurants, containing little toys and snacks and puzzles. They could be geared to age and maybe gender. If I'd figured out a way to get them manufactured and marketed, I'd be rich right now!
But, like most of my ideas, it never come to pass ...
--- End quote ---
You were too busy being a mom to start the box business! But it is a great idea...
L
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