Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
The ORIGINAL 1000+ Posts Club
David:
Sundays Top Ten List
injest 12159
Lucise 6762
Garry_LH 6375
MaineWriter 5643
Front-Ranger 5549
David 3636
louise van hine 3597
DavidinHartford 3542
Ellemeno 3452
Sheriff Roland 3426
David:
Happy Easter to all who participate!
The Airport was rediculously quiet yesterday. Same today as well they say. The calm before the storm. "Spring Break".
Eager young men and women anxious to get south and get laid. I'd better go get some more pat-down gloves! He he he!
David:
Things I've Learned from My Children. (from Cartalk.com)
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN (HONEST AND NO KIDDING):
A king-size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2,000-square-foot house four inches deep.
If you put hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
A three-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20-by-20-foot room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh," it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can do it only in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.
"Play-Dough" and "microwave" should never be used in the same sentence.
Superglue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. The fire department in Austin has a five-minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
Penthesilea:
--- Quote from: DavidinHartford on April 08, 2007, 07:01:04 am ---Things I've Learned from My Children. (from Cartalk.com)
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN (HONEST AND NO KIDDING):
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh," it's already too late.
Superglue is forever.
You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
--- End quote ---
I can verify these ones.
--- Quote ---The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
--- End quote ---
This one is hilarious :laugh:
I can add a few:
Permanent marker on brand-new window sills is truly permanent.
Chocolate pudding is no body lotion. It will not be absorbed by your skin.
A three year old can always find crayons, pens or pencils - no matter where you hide them. But a new wall decoration from time to time is not bad, is it?
MaineWriter:
Morning all...27 degrees here, bright and sunny. This is Easter? LOL
A few other child truths:
Babies will roll off the diaper changing table, even when you are looking at them and have your hand on their abdomen.
Children will come up with words or phrases that become standard part of your family language but have no meaning to anyone else. Ever hear of a "turkey towel"? Like no, plucky. Didn't think so.
Children born in the late 80s and 90s have some sort of weird electromagnetic energy that causes batteries to lose their charge and small electronic gadgets to die before their normal expected life span. I don't even want to think about how much money I have spent on CDs players, Gameboys, iPods, MP3 players, digital cameras...
Shaving cream does not work well as a body lotion, soap or shampoo, although it does a nice job for hair sculpting. Several cans may be needed, though.
Leslie
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version