Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
user names
southendmd:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 17, 2008, 04:50:06 pm ---I agree with everything you just said Bud. I wonder if anyone here has heard of an example where a husband has entirely changed his name to take his wife's last name (not hyphenated). I'm sure it's probably happened at some point, but I honestly can't think of an example that I've encountered personally.
--- End quote ---
I haven't encountered that, but I have a friend who changed his name to Joe Hername-Hisname, with hers first! So, he's not known as Joe Hisname anymore.
Penthesilea:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 17, 2008, 04:50:06 pm ---I agree with everything you just said Bud. I wonder if anyone here has heard of an example where a husband has entirely changed his name to take his wife's last name (not hyphenated). I'm sure it's probably happened at some point, but I honestly can't think of an example that I've encountered personally.
--- End quote ---
I know a guy who took the name of his wife. Not hyphenated, just her name and abandoned his former last name completely. But I have to say that he had gotten his last name from his step-father and he hated the man's guts. He was very happy to not longer share the name with that man.
My husband would have taken my name. I completely agree with everything said. We both would have liked to create a new name out of our two last names, it would have fitted good. But that's not possible in Germany. So it was either his or my name. Our last names were both male first names and I personally really didn't care whether my name is Walters or Stephens (just making up the examples, but it was similar, only with German names of course).
Just for principle I acted up a bit and insisted on my name. He agreed. Then I offered him a deal: I would take his name, but therefore I have the right to name our child (I was pregnant then) however I want.
And that's the way we did it.
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: Penthesilea on March 17, 2008, 05:16:28 pm ---I know a guy who took the name of his wife. Not hyphenated, just her name and abandoned his former last name completely. But I have to say that he had gotten his last name from his step-father and he hated the man's guts. He was very happy to not longer share the name with that man.
--- End quote ---
I bet when it does happen, there's often a reason like that. Or else the man's last name is unattractive -- John Buttface or whatever -- and he wants to change it. Though sometimes I've seen women change THEIR names to their husbands' unattractive last names, which particularly surprises me.
MaineWriter:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 17, 2008, 04:50:06 pm ---I agree with everything you just said Bud. I wonder if anyone here has heard of an example where a husband has entirely changed his name to take his wife's last name (not hyphenated). I'm sure it's probably happened at some point, but I honestly can't think of an example that I've encountered personally.
--- End quote ---
The guy who fixes my computer is Michael Thompson-Brown. He used to be Michael Thompson; his wife was Brown. When I asked about the order, he said they both agreed that "Thompson-Brown" sounded better than "Brown-Thompson." There a practical approach to the name thing! I haven't looked in his wallet to see if his license is changed, but everything I see with his name: email, listing in the phonebook, has "Thompson-Brown" as his last name, so I suspect it is a total (legal) change.
When a friend of mine got married, she and her new husband took HIS mother's maiden name as their new last name. It was a situation where his father had walked out when he was very young, so the name he had grown up with had negative associations for him. My friend had a long Italian name with lots of syllables and she didn't want to hyphenate that to anything, so they just started fresh with a whole new (meaningful) name. Note: in this situation, they did need to go court, since the man was legally changing his name.
And I think I mentioned before, I kept my name, and my children have my last name. My son has the sort of unique situation of no middle name--just two names, first and last, since that was the family name. He says in some ways, that causes more problems than not having his father's name, since everyone is "supposed" to have a middle initial. LOL
L
injest:
--- Quote from: atz75 on March 17, 2008, 04:26:53 pm ---I think it's so revealing of major cultural attitudes and of how ingrained certain conventions are in society... to realize how incredibly rare it is for a husband to take his wife's name. In fact, I think many men would find the idea insulting or laughable. It does happen once in a while (my parents have friends whose son took his wife's last name in a hyphenated way). But, the fact that the burden is always, or almost always, placed on the woman to have to deal with the pressures about changing names is just really depressing to me.
This convention I think really reveals how ingrained patriarchal traditions are in society still to a large degree.
Why does creating family unity always have to come at the expense of a woman's identity?
--- End quote ---
why does she feel that her identity will be lost if she changes her name? You are who you are....married, single, whatever your last name. A rose is a rose...
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version