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telling people off
Shasta542:
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I handle aggression and confrontation by not saying much - but I get my point across.
That's great, Kerry. You showed a lot of class.
Were you ever in the guy's presence again? If so, did he have better manners?
Kerry:
--- Quote from: Shasta542 on March 21, 2008, 10:29:51 am ---I guess what I'm trying to say is that I handle aggression and confrontation by not saying much - but I get my point across.
That's great, Kerry. You showed a lot of class.
Were you ever in the guy's presence again? If so, did he have better manners?
--- End quote ---
I refused to go to any further family functions where he was present, Shasta, and now he's deceased. I never saw him again. I hope he's found peace.
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: Kerry on March 21, 2008, 10:42:57 am ---I refused to go to any further family functions where he was present, Shasta, and now he's deceased. I never saw him again. I hope he's found peace.
--- End quote ---
You are so kind-hearted, Kerry. I would have been thinking, 'well, he's now deceased, he's getting what he had coming.'
forsythia12:
--- Quote from: Kerry on March 21, 2008, 09:52:21 am ---I can't abide aggression or confrontation of any kind and will do anything to avoid it.
However, having said that, I will stand up for myself and defend myself if slighted. But I do it in an understated way and with courtesy, where possible.
To give you an example, many years ago, when I was in my late twenties, I had a similar experience to the Thanksgiving confrontation between Jack and L.D.Newsome.
It was Christmas lunch at the home of one of my brothers. Present were my mother, my aunt (mother's sister), my brother's wife, my niece and two nephews (brother's children), my brother's wife's parents, my brother and myself. Ten of us in all.
It was the first Christmas following my father's death the previous May. My Dad knew I was gay and was always very sweet with me about it. My brother's father-in-law, however, was a crass, boorish homophobe of the highest order. He had been making snide, underhand, homophobic remarks ever since Mum and I arrived. At some point about half-way through the meal, he made one remark too many and I snapped.
In front of all those people, I very quietly put my knife and fork down, got up from the table, went over to Mum and gave her a farewell kiss on the cheek, asked my brother to drive Mum home and simply left the room.
Mum was crying. My brother's mouth was hanging open. My brother's father-in-law's face had turned purple with rage because I had dared to turn my back on him and, in so doing, had withdrawn his sport from him.
When I got to my car, I heard footsteps behind me and it was my brother, begging me to return. He was not angry, just concerned. I declined his offer, bade him farewell (pleasantly) and drove away.
Fact is, that hideous man would never have said the things he did to me if my father had been present. He wouldn't have had the courage to do so. He would have known my Dad would have knocked his lights out.
My brother is 10 years older than me and I was in his home. He sat there silently while his father-in-law made his snide remarks at my expense, in front of our recently widowed mother. I'm his little brother. He should have told his father-in-law to mind his manners in his home. But he didn't.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I handle aggression and confrontation by not saying much - but I get my point across.
--- End quote ---
that was nice kerry. very classy indeed. it's definately hard when it's your own family that hurts you or lets you down. ...but you handled yourself very well. ...
Kelda:
wow Kerry that is ineed very classy - go you - I couldnt have done it
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