Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
From the Ridiculous to the Sublime
Ellemeno:
--- Quote from: kelda_shelton on May 26, 2006, 09:02:41 am ---What great parents you all are, Barb, Sheyne,Vic, Anke, Chris, to name just a few.. (apologies to those obvious ones I've missed!)
--- End quote ---
Me! :) But I hadn't joined this conversation yet.
ednbarby:
My imaginary friends' names were Silly and Peepee, and they lived in the cabinet that was built into our stove (where we kept all the pots and pans). They were both girls. Silly was blonde and Peepee was brunette.
henrypie:
I guess my only imaginary friends were Jesus and Superman. I got confused about who was who.... They/he hovered near the ceiling in the corner of my bedroom.
Ellemeno:
--- Quote from: ednbarby on May 26, 2006, 01:01:52 pm ---I think that without it, I would have said "When a man and a woman love each other very much..." whereas now I'll say, "When two people love each other very much..."
--- End quote ---
Sorry to be coming from so far behind in this wonderful conversation -
I also do this, and we are lucky because Miranda has models in her life of various families - her friend Cristina lives with her two moms (one gave birth to her, one adopted her) (or did until they just broke up, sigh), Danielle lives with her (adoptive) mom and doesn't have a dad, Chantelle lives with her Aunt Bonnie, Darcy lives with her dad and stepmother and sees her mom a couple of times a month.
Miranda herself grew inside Tanya. Papa and I were at her birth, and she is our daughter. So from the beginning of her life I've been saying "When a baby grows inside a woman...," rather than "inside her mommy," because Miranda herself didn't grow inside me.
My main goal is to normalize, normalize. She doesn't know that any of those varieties of families are unusual (and in fact, they're not). And as to ethnicity and people looking different than her, I haven't brought it up at all, curious when she will. So far, she has never mentioned her various friends' and classmates' varieties of skin or hair color.
She does love to talk about wheeelchairs, walkers, canes. That's the only physical attribute she has commented on so far. And I thank God that the first person in a wheelchair she (suddenly) asked directly, "Why are you in that wheelchair?" was a kind, understanding woman who told her that her legs got sick and stopped working. It's tricky to know how much to teach her to censor herself - I love her sincerity. The one day I was truly embarrassed was when Miranda was talking to a woman who was quite old, and suddenly said in a very friendly, fascinated way, "You have fur on your face." The woman looked puzzled, I said a quick goodbye and took Miranda outside, and agreed that that woman did indeed have hair on her face that looked like fur, but that it's nicer not to tell the woman about it. I don't think I did a good job. Because actually, a lot of women would actually have a lot more hair showing if they didn't remove it. This parenting thing, I love it, and it's occasionally tricky.
BTW - What is MILF (I am nearly 47, am I old enought to know)?
Some of Miranda's imagginary friends and personae - Baby Griffin, VahVah, Bingo, Big Girl Montana, The Big Sister, Bahm Bahm, JoJo, and my personally favorite name, Hallelujah (which comes from the fact that she LOVES the version of "Battle Hymn of the Republic (Glory, Glory, Hallelujah)" that I added to my version of the BBM soundtrack, because the band plays it at the Fourth of July event that Ennis and family go to).
Sarah - there is a well-known (in adoption circles) article about talking to a child about their adoption with a title I love: "Moses, Jesus, Superman, and Me."
Ellemeno:
--- Quote from: henrypie on May 26, 2006, 02:15:14 pm ---Katherine and Barb, thanks for your dialogue. All I have is cats -- very socially tolerant cats -- but these are issues I think about all the time.... in case I ever have dependents more inquisitive than cats.... I tend to count my chickens before they're hatched....
--- End quote ---
Sarah, if you can raise your cats to be socially accepting of those chickens, you have truly mastered the art of excellent parenting! :)
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