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Born Gay?

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Kerry:
Born Gay
The Brother Factor

Alan, Kerry & Robert
(eldest brother, John, absent)
I came upon this article from a 2006 Time magazine article, whilst recently doing a spring clean at home.

I have three older brothers – John, Robert and Alan (Robert is also gay), so I guess I’m a classic case of the Brother Factor.

Though this is specifically a poll for gay male BetterMostians, I would be interested to hear feedback from anyone else who has personal experience or knowledge of such families where the Brother Factor is evident.

Here’s the Time article:

If you grew up as a younger brother in a houseful of boys, you have probably lost count of the ways your big brothers shaped your life. Now a new study suggests that if you’re also gay, they may have had a role in that too.

Since the 1990s, many social psychologists have concluded that gays represent about 3% of all males – although that’s a much debated figure. Others put it as low as 1% or as high as 10%. Those who subscribe to the 3% figure believe they have documented an interesting wrinkle: among boys with one older brother, the figure goes up to about 4%; two older brother tick it up to 5%; and with three or more, it tops out at about 6%. What nobody could answer is, Why?

Last week psychologist Anthony Bogaert of Brock University in Ontario, Canada, provided some clues from a study of 944 men. Some were raised with biological brothers or stepbrothers; others had biological brothers but were raised apart. In almost no case did homosexuality seem to correlate with stepbrothers living under the same roof. It was only the existence of older biological brothers – whether or not they were raised together – that influenced younger brothers’ sexuality.

Bogaert believes the answer may lie in the mother’s immune system. Mothers’ bodies naturally recognize boy fetuses as slightly more alien than girl fetuses, since all of us carry sex-specific proteins in our bloodstreams. Some mothers may develop antibodies to those male proteins. In subsequent boy pregnancies, Bogaert theorizes, the antibodies may cross the placenta and affect regions of the fetal brain that determine sex orientation.

Kelda:
really intersting..

My friend is the youngest of a number of older siblings (both make and female)... the oldest about 20 yrs older... Noen fo the others are gay and he isn;t close ot them but its interstign to think he may have been influenced by them.

Katie77:
This is not the "Brother Factor"....but its similar......

I've written here before that my father was gay, and he had  a partner for 14 years. The main reason they split, was due to Allen (Dads partner) meeting up with a penfriend from overseas, and deciding he wanted to marry her. His new wife was aware of  his relationship with Dad.

They married, and had two sons. When the youngest son was 16, he came out and announced he was gay. At that time, there had been no open discussion with him about his father's previous gay life.  Obviously, afer the son came out, his father "confessed" to his own experiences and showed him plenty of understanding and encouragement. It took a short time for his mother to come to terms with it. The older brother, didn't want to talk about it, did not want to know about his father and alienated himself from his brother for some time, but eventually rekindled the relationship, but still prefers not to talk about it  with any of them.The older brother is straight, married with kids. Allen said that he had seen the signs in his young son, and was not surprised when he finally told them he was gay.

I had lost contact with Allen, after my father died, for a period of over 20years. After I saw Brokeback Mountain, I did a search on the Internet, and found him, contacted him, and because he only lives a couple of hours from me, visited him and his wife. He talks to me very openly about his relationship with Dad, about his own family situation and his sons. He is over 60 now, still married (over 30yrs), but told me that he still considers himself as gay, that even though, for the past 30 years on the outside he looks like an average straight husband and father, inside, he is still a gay man and   that his wife understands and accepts that. I do not know how he controls that or manages that, or if he has been "actively" gay.

Complicated......thats for sure......but the family, (once all the dust settled) remain a close family. The boys are in their mid to late twentys now, The gay son is in a permanent relationship, the eldest son is married with two children, but he has battled alcoholism and a few other social problems. The family have helped him deal with his problems and they all visit each other regularly and maintain close committment to one another.

Kerry:

Allen's story reminds me of my George, Sue. I won't bore everyone with it again. Suffice to say George and I were together for 15 years and then, one fine day, he decided he wanted to get married to a woman 15 years his senior. There were no children, because she was 55 when they married. Though George continues to maintain a seemingly straight lifestyle, he tells me he still feels 100% gay deep down. Human nature is a funny old thing.

pnwDUDE:
I have four siblings. Three brothers and a sister. Of the four boys, two of us are gay. My brother had a boyfriend in high school and for a couple years after. He wanted a stable family life, and after trying the gay lifestyle, decided to get married and raise kids. His wife had known him since school, so she was aware what she was getting into. They had the wedding, kids, etc. Things seemed ok early on while raising their kids. Once the kids started getting more independent, they kinda fell apart. They are still together and their 16 year old daughter lives with them (with her child...ugh), but they are miserable. Years of drugs/drinking has played it's toll on both of them, but at this stage and at the end of they day, all they have is each other.

I also got married right outta high school. I always thought my attraction to men was somewhat normal and I would grow out of it once married. That didn't happen. Luckily, before we had kids, I got out. Through a stroke of very good luck, I met a great man, and we have a darn stable and fullfilling 20+ year relationship.

Brad

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