I think it all boils down to this:
Would you support repealing DOM?
I, for one, would.
Would you vote for an amendment to your state constitution that would allow same sex marriages and equal rights for same-sex married couples as hetro couples.
I, for one, would.
Would you support an act by Congress similar to DOM that would, instead, guarantee equal rights for same sex married partners as hetro married partners.
I, for one, would.
I believe one needs to get those here who appear to not agree with same-sex marriage to answer 'no' to one of the above questions. Only at that point would he or she be against 'gay' marriage. Just because he or she may see it from another angle, I don't think it is necessarily homophobia. I believe homophobia is tossed around too loosely in the context of this discussion. Very similar to how 'racist' is tossed around in other discussions.
My point is this. If I can't be called 'married' because those who make law and/or the majority in this country don't want me and Steve to be called 'married' similar to our friends Cory and Brianna, who are married, just give me equal rights. I agree with Brokeplex, that in the very near future all this discussion will be a moot point, but until then, I would sit by just fine being treated equal under the law.
Brad