From Katherine:
I will never understand exactly why it happened to us, a small percentage of viewers of the movie, and not to either everybody else who saw it or nobody who saw it. But I'm glad it did! I feel proud to be a member of the Brokie community, strange an identity as that may be.
I agree with both parts of your statement. I'm glad it happened to me, but I still can't (fully) understand why.
But, and that's the difference to the early times, it's not bugging me anymore. I still wonder about the
why and still think about it. But not as often anymore as it used to be.
Somehow I got used to live with the not-knowing, the not-understanding. And I'm ok with it now.
At the beginning of my obsession it drove me nuts, that I couldn't point my finger to THE one crucial reason why I respond to this movie/story the way I do.
Brokeback has become a part of my life, a part of me. Similar to what Amanda and you have said. It's just always there. And even if the obession will start to fade some day, Brokeback will not. It will stay with me.
And similar to Brokeback becoming a part of my life, the not-knowing has become a part of the whole experience. That's why it doesn't drive me nuts anymore.