Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
alec716:
--- Quote from: nakymaton on August 22, 2006, 09:41:48 pm ---BIKER #1:
((Hides Spandex carefully beneath dirty t-shirt and lots of leather.)
**By the way, about that pussy on the hoof... is that some kinda weird experimental critter out a the university or somethin? Like some kind a cross between a mountain lion and a mountain goat or somethin?
--- End quote ---
(( TERRY CLOTH cannot hear well, his ears being all caked with dried Vick's and Jammy lint an' all... ))
TERRY CLOTH:
** What'd he say about pussy under the hood? Like this? **
(( And after consulting with his lawyer, MICHAEL JACKSON begins tampering with the jury pool.... ))
Meryl:
--- Quote from: nakymaton on August 22, 2006, 09:41:48 pm ---BIKER #1:
((Hides Spandex carefully beneath dirty t-shirt and lots of leather.)
**By the way, about that pussy on the hoof... is that some kinda weird experimental critter out a the university or somethin? Like some kind a cross between a mountain lion and a mountain goat or somethin? Cause, I mean, last time I looked at a kitty, it had claws, not hooves...
And who knows what they'll do now that they set the jackalopes loose...**
--- End quote ---
BIKER #2:
** Damn, I can see you boys need a little coachin' in biker lingo! See, we bikers tend to speak metaphorically. (Don't spread this around, but most of us have college degrees.) So when I refer to pussy on the hoof, I'm actually employin' a term for young human females, the silky coverin' of whose genitalia calls to mind the sleek coat of the common house feline, and joinin' it with a term for the horny coverin' that protects the toes of ungulate mammals that's simply meant to imply that said young females are out trottin' around, and thus available for ridin', which is in itself a veiled term for sexual intercourse. I hope that clears it up for ya.
By the way, jackalopes make pretty good eatin' with a little pickapepper sauce and washed down with a cold one. Not bad at all. **
nakymaton:
--- Quote from: meryl on August 22, 2006, 11:42:36 pm ---BIKER #2:
** Damn, I can see you boys need a little coachin' in biker lingo! See, we bikers tend to speak metaphorically. (Don't spread this around, but most of us have college degrees.) So when I refer to pussy on the hoof, I'm actually employin' a term for young human females, the silky coverin' of whose genitalia calls to mind the sleek coat of the common house feline, and joinin' it with a term for the horny coverin' that protects the toes of ungulate mammals that's simply meant to imply that said young females are out trottin' around, and thus available for ridin', which is in itself a veiled term for sexual intercourse. I hope that clears it up for ya.
--- End quote ---
BIKER #2:
** Sheeeeee-it. Next thing you know you'll be telling me that "humped like a frog" don't mean to have bent one's back in an awkward, semi-amphibious pose.
And that "wrang it out" don't have nothin to do with laundry.**
Ray:
--- Quote from: opinionista on August 22, 2006, 03:25:41 pm ---((Michael Jackson, who to everyone's surprise has been on the audience all this time, is very offended by Ray's comment. He rises from his seat, proudly showing everyone his new looks. The audience can't believe their eyes))
Michael Jackson {in his usual whispery, girlish voice}: (clears thoat). Excuse me. ((waves a hand)). May I speak to Mr. Guy Raphaelson please? That cute guy who is in charge of this play. I'd like to know what this Mr. Ray somebody exactly means by saying that he feels a little Michael Jackson. He hurt my feelings.
--- End quote ---
I feel your hurtings Ms Jackson. Please let me explain that to "feel MJ" means to feel like singing. The picture reminded me of a few of your songs; "Soldier's Entrance" and "Creep Inn", "Tubeway", "Secret Passage" & "Beat It" just to name a few. I have always been a great admirer of your music, learning to moon dance at age 15! I felt that only you could create a dance which is about backing up while appearing to be thrusting forward! You have long been an idol of mine and I would die to know that I had offended you and made you cry, as I can imagine how painful it would be trying to squeeze tears down those spectacular nostrels. I can't imagine why you would take offence! Great tits by the way!
opinionista:
--- Quote from: Ray on August 23, 2006, 02:53:20 am ---
I feel your hurtings Ms Jackson. Please let me explain that to "feel MJ" means to feel like singing. The picture reminded me of a few of your songs; "Soldier's Entrance" and "Creep Inn", "Tubeway", "Secret Passage" & "Beat It" just to name a few. I have always been a great admirer of your music, learning to moon dance at age 15! I felt that only you could create a dance which is about backing up while appearing to be thrusting forward! You have long been an idol of mine and I would die to know that I had offended you and made you cry, as I can imagine how painful it would be trying to squeeze tears down those spectacular nostrels. I can't imagine why you would take offence! Great tits by the way!
--- End quote ---
((Michael Jackson has been hiding behind the back exit door of the theatre all this time, so he heard Mr. Raymille's heartfelt apology. He peeks through the door, then comes in again, moving his hips, shaking his new boobs with a big grin on his face))
Michael Jackson in his girlish voice: All right Mr. Raymille, apology accepted. I love it that you like my new looks. Don't I look great? I just love myself. I'll stay to watch this wonderful play. Please, tell Mr. Raphaelson that I won't be suing him but that stinky Terry Cloth is not forgiven ( ;)). He has to learn to behave itself. If you want me to sing and dance on that beautiful stage of yours, you let me know. I'll love to do it.
((Michael Jackson goes back to his seat, shaking his boob some more, and sits down. Audience applauds. Michael Jackson rises, waves a hand, similing, and sits)).
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