~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

%% JBB, those were the other postcards.... the other night... You dozed off fore you could tell me what you wanted written on 'em. I got those from SALES CLERK, not ANGRY SOUVENIR STORE OWNER. I know its hard ta tell these twin actors apart, thats why the name badges help.%%

[saucycobblers]

((JBB blushes...))

%%Ooops... sorry 'bout that. It's that warm pocket o' yourn makin' me sleepy. Ya ready ta take dictation Mr Twist?%%

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

%% Sure thing... Got a pen back in ma trailer. Need to get an autograph for Ms. Moon while I'm at it.%%

[saucycobblers]

JBB:

**ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....**

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

((pen in hand))

**Is that three "Z"s or four?**

[saucycobblers]

YOUNG JACK:

((pen in hand))

**Is that three "Z"s or four?**

JBB (sleepily):

** Hunh? Whut?? Hellfire, you wash these PANTS in lavender detergent or sumthin? I can't keep ma lid op...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz **

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

**Well you're usin' sumthin ta talk... thought it was yer lid.**

[alec716]

((The HIGH PRIESTESS returns to the set of B.A.M., having just completed a wildly successful publicity tour for her new book:   Altitude Adjustment:  Getting High on BrokenArse))

What's this I hear about a wedding?  Two weddings, in fact!  GUY and LUCISE and JACK and LUREEN.  How exciting!  Will Guy and Lucise be married on the Mountain?  Has Lureen chosen her bridesmaids?  Who will be Jack's best man?   Will big equipment be involved--farm equipment, I mean.  I do so hope I can be of assistance in the planning! **[/b]

HIGH PRIESTESS:

** Yes, dear honey-chile, I'm afraid Ennis will not do for this particular duty.  Perhaps JIMBO, or even TIMMY?  Either of them would need some serious wardrobe consultation first, though.  I'll check with CHER to see if she has someone to recommend. **

(( While attending to her humanitarian duty to uplift and accessorize the ill-dressd and ill-tressed, CHER conducts her global Search for Signs of Intelligent Hair In the Universe and visits in the humble countryside with a Poor Unfortunate.



The call of the HIGH PRIESTESS reaches CHER through the International Diva Cell Phone Network.  ))


CHER"S CELL PHONE:

One ringy-ding-y, two ringy-ding-y, ... 


LILY TOMLIN:

Hey, that's my line!




(( CHER, ever the humanitarian, is eager to respond to the HIGHLY WELCOMED BACK PRIESTESS' sisterly plea for help.  ))

CHER:

Sorry, Lily, you are soup.  The Performance Thread, art.   It's been a Laugh-In a minute with you, but I gotta go.  Kiss Jane for me, would ya?


(( BATMAN and ROBIN arrive to speed CHER back to the B.A.M. set.  ))



ROBIN:

HOLY INTERNATIONAL MEGASTARS, BATMAN!  Will her hair fit in the Batmobile?

[Daniel]

BATMAN:

**Who can tell Robin? Its her hat I'm more worried about. What we need is.... I have just the thing.**

((BATMAN tries to stand up from the car but ROBIN is still leaning over his lap.))

**We can do that sort of thing later. Right now, we have to find a way to get our diva back to the production set.**

((BATMAN stands up from the car and opens his accessory belt, pulling out a compact size Tre'Semme Salon styling gel and several hair pins.))

[Cher]

(( Freshly re-coiffed, I emerged from the Batmobile and stepped foot again on the sacred ground of the B.A.M. set.  ))



ME:

BATMAN, that gel was tre' chic!  What say let's sell it on my next infomercial.  And this sparkley headband from your sparkle-eyed trick did just the trick!  I'll give it back to ROBIN now.

(( The air is thick with diva air-kisses as I greet the HIGH PRIESTESS, whom I have not seen since our time together absolute decades ago very recently at DAME EDNA's Finishing School for International Megastars in Brisbane.  Little-known fact: MISTER RAYMILLE was in our class!  But he was much older than we were, coming back to school for training in a second career.  ))

ME:

OK, I am here to help, but this wedding wardrobe planning will best be a team effort.  Since BOB MACKIE is still working his fingers bloody sewing sequins on those ghastly BOY SCOUT uniforms you bought your kids at the Salvation Army,



let's see who else with a flawless fashion ethic we can find sitting around the set.



THERE SHE IS!!  Do you think we can strongarm FOURTH RANDOM DIVA into helping?