Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%
Daniel:
YOUNG JACK:
((Jack looks back at the groomsmen.))
**Didn't bring no family with me... this was kinda a split second thing for me... But speakin' of bride, ain't that corny music supposed ta start yet?**
saucycobblers:
((CYRIL the BAM CARRIER PIGEON has arrived safely at CHER's Sacred Comeback Tour Wig Trunk at CHER's trailer in Riverton...
Landing softly and with infinite grace, CYRIL gently lays down his precious cargo and raps on the lid.))
Rattitty-tap-tap... tap-tap.
((The lid opens a fraction...))
**Yeah? Whut??**
CYRIL:
**Coo...coo...I have a delivery for Mr TERRY CLOTH...coo...coo...**
((The lid opens further to reveal...))
DOROTHY WIG:
**Yes honey, TERRY was here but he skipped town a few days ago.**
DISCO WIG:
**We think he went to some laundromat somewheres around these parts. And not before time, I might add. That cloth damn near stunk this trunk out!**
DOROTHY WIG:
**You hush now, Chaka Khan! You cud stand a while in the suds yerself!**
DISCO WIG:
**Bitch! Why don't ya go the hell back ta Kansas!**
FEATHER WIG:
**Ladies! Ladies! All this wigging ain't helpin' Mr CYRIL none. Besides, y'all know Ms CHER loves me the best.**
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN WIG:
**Least y'all don't get everyone tryin' ya on thinkin' they're goddamn Johnny Depp...**
((CHER's WIGS shake themselves in commiseration.))
CYRIL:
**Coo...coo...thankyou, er, ladies. Guess I'll try an find this laundromat then.**
BEATLES WIG:
**You going anywhere near Liverpool, mate?**
((Actor's note: "wigging" - British slang word meaning 'to berate severely' ;)))
Brown Eyes:
**The sun returns!**
saucycobblers:
((Cheered by the appearance of THE SUN after all the rain Riverton's been getting, but still reeling from his surreal encounter with CHER'S WIGS, CYRIL picks up the precious postcard that will reunite our two wefted and emoliated lovers in sweet smelling harmony, and sets off on the long trek to the Riverton laundromat...))
((It's been a long day, however, and after 3 effen hours looking for the damn laundomat, CYRIL decides it's time to hitch a lift from one of the passing trucks...))
((A kindly but confused gas station CLERK picks him up and spends the rest of the journey muttering something about definitely cutting down on the ganja now...))
((...and after placing the postcard on the doorstep of the flat above the laundromat, CYRIL accepts the welcome offer of a lift home from the CLERK.))
CLERK:
**Cyril... Can ah call ya CYRIL? Cyril, ya don't happen ta knaw any tubes a talkin' butt lotion, do ya??**
Mikaela:
MIKA THE DUMBASS MUSICAL MULE:
((Bathed in new-emerged sunlight, greets the bald-headed ones as soon as they arrive from Broken Arsed Mountain, in a decidedly harrowed and stressed-out fashion:))
Good that you're finally here, guys!! What took you so long - your feathers gone rusty and your wings creaky or sumthing? I just heard the groom asking for Corny Music! There's no time to practice - let's just get on stage this minute!
Don't know if this is what he's after, but this is what he's getting:
((Announces proudly with a voice that carries to Dallas:))
It's MIKAAAAAAA and the MIKETTES!
((Strikes a graceful yet sexy pose on stage))
= Cue very corny music of the BAM Mating Dance=
MIKA:
This is nature’s mating call
Simply telling all
to fall…….
in love
MIKETTES:
Do-be-do-be-do-be-doooooo
MIKA:
And that's why mules do it, flies do it
Even eagles in the skies do it
get to it, just fall in love
Shy camp tenders, 'gainst their wish, do it
Even horses, sheep and cows do it
Get to it, just fall in love
I've heard that coyotes and dogs do it
skipping ‘round a rock
They say that roosters do it
With a doodle and cock
Some cute cowboys without means do it
I hear even no-more-beans’ll do it
Get to it, just fall in loooove!
MIKETTES:
Do-be-do-be-do-be-doooooo
The mating dance:
Just fall in looooooooooooooooooove!
((Suddenly and sheepishly realizes something, and whispers to the MIKETTES))
Guys, perhaps he was really wanting to hear "Here comes the Bride".
Well, no problem! Let's do that one too!
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