Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
OT: A bit of personal life information!
vkm91941:
as you all know I was a NICU nurse for years, Pediatrics and OBGYN are my speciality....some information on Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Psychosis for your enlightenment. Info you may or may not find useful Chris.
But you know what they say it ain't over til the fat lady sings ( and I do not sing!) If getting McK some medical help could get back in touch with her love for you and CJ then salvage this situation...well, your call...............
Postpartum Depression
PD not only hurts the mother, but also affects her family. Some researchers have found that depression during pregnancy can raise the risk of delivering an underweight baby or a premature infant. Some women with depression have difficulty caring for themselves during pregnancy. They may have trouble eating and won’t gain enough weight during the pregnancy; have trouble sleeping; may miss prenatal visits; may not follow medical instructions; have a poor diet; or may use harmful substances, like tobacco, alcohol, or illegal drugs. Classic Symptoms are Dysphoric mood
Loss of interest in usually pleasurable activities,Difficulty concentrating or making decisions, Psychomotor agitation or, retardation, Fatigue, Changes in appetite or sleep, Recurrent thoughts of death/suicide,Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, especially failure at motherhood, Excessive anxiety over child's health
Postpartum depression can affect a mother’s ability to parent. She may lack energy, have trouble concentrating, be irritable, and not be able to meet her child’s needs for love and affection. As a result, she may feel guilty and lose confidence in herself as a mother, which can worsen the depression. Researchers believe that postpartum depression can affect the infant by causing delays in language development, problems with emotional bonding to others, behavioral problems, lower activity levels, sleep problems, and distress. It helps if the father or another caregiver can assist in meeting the needs of the baby and other children in the family while mom is depressed.
All children deserve the chance to have a healthy mom. All moms deserve the chance to enjoy their life and their children. If this is the problem she needs a doctor.
Postpartum Psychosis
Post-partum psychosis is very rare. It is not so much a variety of post-partum depression as it is an entity onto itself. It is characterized by homicidal and suicidal impulses, hallucinations, delusions, disorganized and bizarre thinking.
The dilemma is that these individuals usually refuse treatment. This is a medical emergency situation. If post-partum psychosis is suspected, families need to call 911 as emergency intervention is necessary. Medication most likely will be prescribed. The ultimate goal is to keep the baby and mother safe.
Research shows that approximately one woman in 1,000 births will experience post-partum psychosis.
As with treating any psychosis, first rule out any physiological cause such as thyroid storms, seizure disorders or drug-induced psychosis. Once ruled out, treatment is crucial. However before individual or group therapy, medication must be given to alleviate the psychotic symptomatolgy. In many cases, anti-psychotic medication is administered only for a short period of time. Once the psychosis abates, couple counseling, as well as individual counseling, can be of benefit.
Family support, and educating the family regarding what has occurred is also extremely important. It is important that the affected individual not be labeled a bad mother. Once the psychosis is treated, mothers generally go on to be good caretakers. It is important to note, however, that in the event of future pregnancies, affected individuals are at a 50% greater risk of having another psychotic episode.
Certain anti-psychotics have been more affective than others. Haldol, Risperidal, Clozaril and Zyprexa have been beneficial in post-partum psychosis.
Anti-psychotic medications do pass into the mother’s breast milk. Subsequently if the mother has been breastfeeding and continues to do so, the baby needs to be monitored for drowsiness or lethargic behavior, and prescribing the least amount of anti-psychotic medication in order for symptom reduction to occur is also crucial.
opinionista:
--- Quote from: cHrIs_sLaYeRs on June 22, 2006, 12:17:18 am ---Hey all,
Please allow me to rant about....me...for a second...may answer some of the several PMs that I have recieved in the last few days...
Some of you may have noticed that I haven't been around much lately....been quiet and reserved! Well now its time to tell...
I found out today that I am going to take part in a seemingly bitter divorce from my wife of almost 3 years. Her lack of love and care for my son has pushed me too the edge, she left last week and I recieved divorce papers this morning...it turns out that she doesn't even want Charlie Jacob...she isn't even gonna fight for him...you have no idea how bad that hurts...
I am honestly done, was at the end of my thin rope and after the several months of simple requests such as that she actually feed the baby....I was finished! But the worst part about it is that my 8 week old son no longer has a mother...and thats what is killing me..
So if I seem absent in the next few please know that it is for the reasons listed above...
Thanks everyone,
C
--- End quote ---
Hey Chris,
I really don't know what the situation is, but what you described is very similar to what happened to a very good friend of mine when he and his girlfriend had their baby two years ago.
As it happened with you, my friend's girlfriend left him and said she wanted no part in the baby's life. They weren't married so there was no divorce. It turned out that she had a bad case of post partum depression or baby blues, which clouded her judgement, and made her behave strangely. If your baby is only 8 weeks old this could be your wife's case.
Sometimes, baby blues have terrible effects in women and makes them do things they wouldn't normally do. I suggest that, if you want to of course, consult with an expert, perhaps a psychologist or psychiatrist about this matter, and try to talk to her about getting help.
My friend's girlfriend got help from a doctor. The gave her pills and things went back to normal. She is now a wonderful and caring mother, and they're still together.
The problem is that if her behavior is indeed a result of post partum depression, she is going to change her mind, probably in a few months, and will want to be back into your lives. This could have negative effects in the baby, because you'll probably be angry, and she'll be remorseful and sad.
As I said above, I don't know what the situation between your wife and you is, but I wanted to tell you this in case it could help you find a better solution. I know she is the one who wants out, but maybe you could try talking to her into getting help or having someone from her family talking to her about it.
I wish you the best Chris, and let me know if I can do anything.
-Natali
Shuggy:
That's pretty bad, and - not knowing anything about it - I'd say keep post partum depression in mind, because it doesn't make a lot of sense otherwise: if it were about any bad things between you, she'd certainly want to take the baby with her. So if/when she gets better and wants to come back into your lives, I hope you'll have room.
Meanwhile, how are the practicalities? Can you take parental leave from your job? Get a single-parents' benefit? You could do both of those here in NZ (sorry if I gloat but - I gloat). What's the position in Utah (isn't it)? And have you family who can help out?
alec716:
Hey Chris -- thanks for letting us know what's going on. We might be "only" virtual friends, but we can let you know, human to human, that we feel for you and will do anything practical or metaphysical to help out. Know that the BetterMostians stand with you! As I have never participated in a board like this before, I have been amazed at the emotional vulnerability that many (including alec716!) have been willing and eager to share on these threads. We really are a community of sorts, in a world that can be all too hostile. So -- keep us posted -- we really do care. -- Alec
silkncense:
--- Quote ---...are you sure you're wife isn't suffering from postpartum depression? It can do the strangest things. Please urge your wife not to make any rash decisions.
--- End quote ---
I agree w/ all those thinking it may be postpartum depression, esp since you said she would not even feed the baby. I think that is huge clue. If you are on good terms w/ her parents, maybe you should approach the subject with them...
Hopefully you can convey the love of two to your son in the meantime.
Take care.
Also, just saw that the current (July 2006) Ladies Home Journal has an article titled "Can this marriage be saved?" which focuses on Postpartum depression. May give you some insight.
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