There is no winning in this this, there is no coming over to the other side either--waste of your time and energy. I use the forum over there to help find some new stories, and I appreciate that fact of it, but some of the ones they rave about, I can't get past the first chapter or two. Personal choice. You are valid in your points and I tend to agree because I wouldn't jump into the grave and join someone already in the casket---and this seems to be what a lot over there expect of Ennis/anyone who loses someone--they are to just stay right there forever. Ridiculous-most people couldn't and wouldn't, but there are always those few.
People who lose people eventually have to make a conscious choice as to what comes next---life dictates by necessity that one must go on and get over and keep going.
HOW one chooses to do this however is individual and very different.
IF someone never chooses to try to love again---it depends on where they do decide to put that energy---are they involved in community, helping others, doing good for ones that are still here that they love? OR are they just wallowing, mourning forever in self pity??
That makes the difference. My Mom lost two husbands, one in a plane crash, one with health issues---after my father died, and was gone 6 months--I asked her if she was still crying---because I was. She wasn't---She misses him like crazy, but is still very involved in everything--and I had to finally let time take over and learn that he is in my heart and that life is for the living and life goes on.
I believe that a 40 year old man who loses the love of his life usually goes 1 of two ways--he either decides to keep up with his real life and responsibilities and goes on, learning to love again with time, and dealing with his life postively-Those are the real survivors, still loving their families that are still here, and making choices that help them cope--or he starts drinking, resigns from life, and ends up dead. Same with some divorces, you have all seen them-the ones who have let their lives deteriorately so drastically, they don't function anymore, have trouble with work and can't get over anything. they are just waiting for the grim reaper---yes they happen, but they are tragic.
I never felt that Ennis was tragic, and I always thought that with the girls to help him stay involved---he could and would go back into life, just as the Laramie Sagas have demonstrated he could. Maybe the timeline wouldn't be quite the same in some lives, but it could and would happen very similar to that depending on choices made.
I think you stated your views very well, the fact that over there--they end with the story, and are just waiting to shovel dirt over Ennis as deep as Jack is buried, is nothing you can argue with. IT doesn't matter---I couldn't believe that if I tried, and I know a few who never go on-and I know lots more that time finally did let them find something else to make a difference and they started putting one foot in front of the other again. My Mom will never marry again, because at 80+ her choices are pretty limited, but she goes out to dinner with friends, and stays involved in everything she did before. When her 1st died she was only 23---with a baby---and she mourned him for years, but she didn't have time to just STOP living and play dead- and My Dad understood when they started falling in love that she had a past-they were 29 when they married--and ready made family--and they made over 35 years together before he passed on. LIfe and time makes you go on after awhile.
IF people don't want to, I think maybe they haven't lost anyone close to them, because life is for the living--no matter how you look at it.
I love The Laramie Sagas, and enjoy the process of E/E going on and getting together. IT works for me---and if it doesn't for them, fine, let them leave it alone, no sense trying to spoil our view of it.
this is all just my own ramblings, but I wouldn't waste my time arguing with anyone over there--they already know it all, and are more than willing to tell you what they think you should be knowing and reading, and that doesn't work for me very well.
just my own opinion.
Topic: Taking Chances, by E. L. Van Hine and L.H. Nicoll (Read 3509478 times)