In response to Louise's question, posted a few comments ago...
I actually wrote "my" Ennis (A Love Born From Steel Ennis, that is) to be opposite, that is, he comes to acknowledge and accept he's gay before moving into the realm of more adventurous and experimental sex. Near the end of the story, actually, Ennis starts asking Jack about "different types of queers" and Jack stocks the new nightstand with a few toys, which Ennis seems pleased to find and think about how to use.
I think it is not so much the order in which these events occur, rather, that there needs to be a deep and underlying love to establish the trust needed to "go there" -- wherever "there" may be. To that end, Louise, I think you have written the love very effectively, from Ellery's first "I have a theory--we're falling in love"; to Edna saying to Ennis, "He loves you very much" and Ennis being able to answer, "I know, he tells me all the time"; to most recently (and this is one of my most favorite lines in recent chapters), "You are precious to me." To me, it is that love that is more representative of Ennis's growth and unfolding, more than the sex (although the sex works, too).
This is probably going to sound like heresy to some people, but I think we have gotten to the point where Ennis loves Ellery more than he loved Jack...or maybe, to phrase it better, more completely. The point he is at now is exploring how to share a life with Ellery, something he never did with Jack. As I wrote in my story, Ennis and Jack were fuckbuddies who got together 2 or 3 times a year...fuckbuddies in love, yes, but there was no basis to their relationship other than that. He has matured, with Ellery, to the point that there is a relationship which transcends the sexual component.
L