Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side

Completed Brokeback Limericks!

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Lumière:

Ennis' divorce gave Jack such a thrill,
He jumped into his car, dressed up to kill.
He redlined it straight to Riverton,
'Cause without his love he was hurtin',
But instead a Mexican he had to drill!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

He plotted his herding with pie,
and when he saw Cassie with Karl, he didn't even vie,
His mind replayed that fight by the lake,
It was time to act, there was too much at stake,
Little did Del Mar know, that his love was going to die.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis walked slowly into the tent, his hat in hand
He felt like Alice in Wonderland 
No time was wasted
The Forbidden fruit tasted
And love's juice covered his gland!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

As his cheek brushed the nipple of Jack,
Ennis thought by himself, what the heck
The smell of his skin
Is a little bit thin
And before he knew, he was on his back.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

There once was a lil boy named Bobby,
Who wondered 'bout his Daddy's hobby.
When Bobby was twenty, he fell for a lad named Hugh,
Whose Grandmother once lived in a small house just outside the township, but she used to come into town once a week to do her shopping, it's true,
And they kissed in a posh hotel lobby.

p/s: Ray is responsible for that really looooooooong 4th line!  ;D

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis married, getting a wife
It ended in trouble and strife....
He didn't understand
Why he couldn't land
In a happier place in his life!

Lumière:

While the dogs baby-sat all the sheep
The love of our boys, it grew deep,
So they didn't notice when they were spied upon by Aguirre,
the boys frolicked openly their passions a-fire!
And their love made hearts a-leap.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Once two cowboys got pissed
And really enjoyed their trysts
They tried to stay together
And weather all weathers
But Jack disappeared to the mist

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The tent on the mountain don't look right
Then came one hot and steamy night ;
Jack and Ennis were mighty horny,
they stemmed the rose that wasn't thorny,
And they went at it until it was first light.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis turned him down, and off he went to Mexico,
Filling up his tank with no-leaded Texaco.
He settled for a dark-haired jigolo,
Who was working some interesting mojo,
And coloured Jack's honour Indigo!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Alma Junior was not impressed,
She didn't even like the way Cassie was dressed.
Her manner was dry,
And she would never pry,
But she noticed her father still seemed depressed.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Ennis was used to rolling his own,
He preferred it to using a cone.
Everytime he fantasized it was Jack he fondled,
No matter how much his mind was all muddled,
He cried, "I am in need of him, how I feel alone".

Lumière:

Ain't no little thing happenin' here
Even though I say "I ain't queer",
he lamented letting Jack out of his sights,
He was so damn mad, he got into fights,
He just could let go of his irrational fear!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Two scared girls waved from the porch,
He was hot with anger, burning like a torch,
Then a pickup blocked his path,
He lost it and unleashed his wrath
Yeah, Alma's "Jack Twist? Jack Nasty!" words did scorch!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack offered a drink to a clown,
but the silly oaf turned him down,
Jack gave him the look,
And played by the book,
"F--k him", said Jack with a frown.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Come with me Ennis, my one and only lover,
Let's play with each other under the cover.
We don't have to make love just now,
But why delay it? Let's do it somehow!
Sure my love! You want me to roll over?

##-----------------------------------------------------##

It was called a love that would never grow old,
Its a love story between two men that must be told.
No holds will ever be barred
Tis a masterpiece forever unmarred,
for never before was a story so bold.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

There once was a barmaid called Miss Cartwright,
her advances towards Ennis were forthright,
Her hands and feet were involved,
as she tried to break Ennis's resolve.
She didn't know of his 'baggage', his plight.

Lumière:

Poor Joe Aguirrie had some sheep,
That was the only way he earned his keep.
No stemming the rose,
at least none of those,
For he was a real son of a beep

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack grew tired of the infrequent couplings,
yet he knew Ennis would never change things,
He longed for the day
He could say: we are gay!
And even make a vow and exchange rings.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

He spat: "No Fuck'n way"
I am going to stay
He flashed his blue ring
An amazing piece of bling,
Then he sent them off to play!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

Jack's postcard arrived unexpected
Instantly his attention erected
It couldn't possibly be true,
Oh, Jack, I do love Y-O-U   
The dream of seeing you again, I never rejected.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The sheep on the mountain were staring
At our boys butts they were baring
They thought: "bloody hell!
And they say that we smell!
It ain't right! But we shouldn't be swearing..."

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I'll probably be back summer of sixty-four,
Of you my friend by then I'll need more
I'll miss your cuisine
You give such good bean
And make such a good butler outdoor!

Lumière:

He'd never felt so sick in his life,
And just as bad: He'd soon have a wife!
What the hell should he do?
Knowing Jack's love was true
He went sullen with this inner strife.

##-----------------------------------------------------##

I will lay me down with my Ennis tonight,
When all the stars are shining bright,
Nothing could be easier
Than being bawdier.
Tonight is the night I will do him right!

##-----------------------------------------------------##

The snow barely lasted an hour,
Yet Joe issued an order so dour,
Jack began to take down the tent,
Ennis started to vent,
He felt angry, sick; life could be so sour.

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