Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Completed Brokeback Limericks!
Lumière:
A Limerick Interlude!! ;D
Lumière:
I think I'll shoot one of the sheep
It could be a secret we can keep
I'll make you such a meal
What d'you say? It's a deal?
Yes! I'll end up in a satisfied heap!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Jack and Randall sat on the bench
Neither thinking about a wench.
Nor of fishing, truth be told
Randall thought: shall I be bold?
'Cuz this Jack, he's quite a mensch.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Rodeoin' aint like it was in my Pa's day,
But I'll ride more than bulls, if I have my say
Don't matter if he's clipped or not
As long as he is smokin' hot!
You'll not stop me then! Just get out of my way!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Them lucky sheep sure got an eyeful
when Jack and Ennis got playful
The moans they must've heard,
overheated the herd
Especially when, of Jack, Ennis took a mouthful.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Ennis took his daughters to town,
When he was with them, never a frown.
He bought them ice cream
They were quite the splendid team
For with his girls he could smile like a clown.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
I'll make him eat the phukin' floor,-
he screamed, - and then ran for the door
Now what? Alma she knew!
He raced down to the Black and Blue,
Ennis couldn't hide his love for Jack any more.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Ennis said "Jack, I'm so horny
And at the risk of sounding corny
You got the best-looking toosh I ever saw.
Now listen, I'll lay down the law
We walk this road together, 'tis our journey!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Ennis learned the news via the US mail
He was crushed, his heart 'bout to fail.
That one word "Deceased"
Was crushing, he couldn't be appeased.
'Twas a sad, tragic end to their tale.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Jack made Ennis smile so very wide,
They were at their best when they were side by side.
In midday sun or late at night,
when Jack washed clothes it was quite a sight,
They were together as long as they could ride.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
He fumbled with his belt buckle, breathing hard
was bettin' everything on this one card:
Removing it, his bottom was bare,
Ennis wasn't running, that means he did care!
Betwixt them no holds were barred!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Damn! It ain't like this with girls,
said Jack, as he kissed Ennis' curls.
I love everything about you from head to toe,
Next time, let's do it nice and slow
When you kiss me, my whole world swirls!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
I'd love to be Ennis' warsh rag
Be almost as good as a long shag
All over his face, arms, legs and d**k
A lil' water, a bit of clear slick...
I'd savor his taut muscles, def'nitely no sag...
Lumière:
Young Ennis was highly attractive
and Jack Twist was Ennis-reactive
They were handsome young bucks,
Yearning hard for some f*cks ,
their days on the mountain were Active!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
It's Saturday, we could smarten up,
Let's go to the church social after we sup.
We'll be polite, and nod and smile
Even to those who happen to be vile.
Jack'll swirl in the hot dark o' my coffee cup.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
The fireworks lit up the night sky
The children didn't even cry
Ennis drew some blood
Dealing with some crud
Helping bikers learn to fly
##-----------------------------------------------------##
This lad named Ennis was from Sage,
He hardly spoke, but he was full of rage,
Got himself engaged to a lass called Alma,
and they planned a very simple wedding gala,
but after that he felt trapped in a cage.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Poor lil Jenny suffered from asthma
Continual wheezing made her feel blah
The poor little thing,
So much suff-er-ing,
For her as well as her Ma and Pa.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
There was a Grocer named Monroe,
who understood Alma's woe,
He wanted a piece
of her to release,
and couldn't wait to become her beau.
Ennis snapped, "I came upon a bear!",
"All we got is beans", he said in despair,
Jack said, "Let's have mutton!"
Ennis frowned, still cute as a button
And at Jack's crotch he had to stare!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
'Twas fun at Don Wroe's cabin, like a honeymoon
Like newlyweds in the month of June.
Making love was all they did,
'Cause it was their id
That gave 'em the sex drive of a baboon.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Jimbo surely thought 'bout it twice
Cause Jack, no doubt, was kinda nice!
He'd be deeply sighing
Jack was desperate, horny, dying...
But Jimbo was scared, so'n Scheiß!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Monroe is kind hearted but dorky
And also a little bit porky
He loves his pipe
And the floor he may wipe
At the local diner Knife & Forky!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
As Ennis washed the pots and pans,
The horizon he still scans;
He saw Jack, wishing he could be with him
Maybe he'll ride down on a whim
Ennis watched intently, Jack deserved more than a glance.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
I wouldn't mind sleeping out there,
Them coyotes better beware!
For I got a gun
And it would be fun,
come with me if you dare!
Lumière:
Jack can certainly peel a potato
Dreaming of his inamorato
He whips off that peel
Preparing the meal
While staring at Ennis's Tomatoes!
:laugh:
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Ennis's clothes were very, very dirty
But it never stopped Jack from being flirty
"I could wash them if you like?"
"But I'd really rather ride you like a bike!"
"Cos Jack, you are sooo purty!"
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Jack's truck approached in the distance,
Ennis looked up, throwing a glance
At this cute young cowboy
and at once hatched a ploy
But reconsidered, 'With him, I got no chance!"
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Jack pounded the shirt with a big stick,
While dreaming of a big dick
As he recalled the night before
He knew he wanted an encore
Twas what he wanted to touch, grab and lick.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Ennis could've had Jack all those years
Instead he married Alma Beers
Together they stayed
And two children they made
But there was more sorrow than cheers.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
The stud duck refused to let Jack's ashes go,
So Ennis left the house in sorrow,
Clutching a brown paper bag,
Suppressing the urge to gag,
As the tears fell, he kept his down, low.
"I might head over to my daddy's place,"
A hopeful Jack stressed the "might" just in case
Ennis grunted, "I'll see ya around"
'Cause his feelings he kept underground
And his cowboy-hat covered his face.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
"Whoa, whoa...It aint gonna be that way,"
Ennis said to Jack's dismay.
He broke Jack's heart.
That wasn't so smart!
Jack had hoped Ennis would say: "I'm gay!"
Lumière:
BBM Limericks 1000 Posts Celebration!
We can celebrate with some of our Completed Limericks: ;D
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