Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Completed Brokeback Limericks!
Lumière:
The night on the mountain was chilly.
So jack pulled Ennis's hand to his Willie,
He said with a grin,
Who's gonna begin?
Ennis said, it's my first time, really.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Our boys were out herding the sheep,
Sometimes they were too horny to sleep,
Jack said with affection,
"Is that an erection?"
"Yes, and it's starting to weep!"
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Ennis sometimes wondered if people could tell,
If in love with a man he once fell,
At the Knife & Fork diner,
Where was his red-liner?
The tears had started to Quell!
Lumière:
Ennis sometimes wondered if people could tell,
If in love with a man he once fell,
At the Knife & Fork diner,
Where was his red-liner?
For Jack drove lke a bat out of Hell
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Aquire had come up to perve,
The right to peek, he didn't deserve,
He got quite an eyeful,
Then went for a quick pull,
And what a dish the boys did serve!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
"Aw, crap" said old Mrs Twist,
As she wiped off the teary mist,
My cherry cake's gone flat,
I'll surely be blamed for that,
If I hear a word, he gets the fist!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Jack, I love your eyes and your smile,
I've been checking you out for a while
You make my trunk oh so stiff,
And the world I wish to miff,
For you my love, I'd walk a fiery mile!
Lumière:
John Twist is always so grumpy.
In his childhood he'd been rather lumpy,
On his son, he took a piss,
Jack's ideas he liked to dis
Cause his love for a guy made him jumpy!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Jack chose a skittish mare named Cigar Butt,
Who could always avoid a road rut
Not good enough to be a bucking bronco
But the sight of Jack on her made Ennis swallow,
how he envied that horse! Mare? No; - slut!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
'Twas a cold summer night on the mountain
Next to the warm whiskey fountain,
little bluebirds were singin'
And the church bells were ringin'
As his love for Jack did Ennis make plain!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
"What blue eyes you have, Jack" said Ennis,
"Never would I do you a disservice",
"I'll stare into those orbs",
"My entire universe your love perturbs",
"Lord knows your hand belongs on my penis"!
Lumière:
The log vanished into thin air,
Like the tiniest strand of hair,
But nobody realised,
That Jack's seat the log comprised,
And We thought it's 'cause of the mare!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
"Rodeo cowboys is all fu-kups", said Ennis' dad,
But they're not the only ones he thought were bad;
He hated gays, 'specially Earl and his man Rich,
He was a real sonofabitch,
The worst kinda of father a boy could have Had.
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Lureen wondered why husbands don't dance,
or even try to get in their pants,
She got angry and red,
And DRAGGED Jack to bed,
for escaping there wasn't a chance!!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
The wind on the mountain was blowin'
And the boys they was knowin'
that the best way to take cover,
Was to take a lover,
And spend every Sunday lawn mowin'!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
The wind on the mountain was blowin'
And the boys they was knowin'
that the best way to take cover,
Was to take a lover,
and f*ck him until It'd be snowin'.
Lumière:
Jack and Ennis made quite a stunning pair,
One being dark and the other quite fair.
Jack's eyes were blue, Ennis' brown,
Jack would smile, Ennis frown,
'Specially when Jack tried to gel Ennis' hair!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
There once was a troll named Aguirre,
Who was known in some circles as a fairy.
He had thousands of sheep
But really liked to peep
'Cause naked men made him merry!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
"I like doin' women, but not like doin' Jack",
Ennis told Alma when he packed his rucksack.
"My man", he said, "Is hung like a donkey!"
"And he sure is good at the honky-tonky",
"I'm surely in heaven when he's on my back!"
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Up on Brokeback, where we pasture the woolies,
where the whiskey is cold and there aren't no bullies,
I fell head over heels for a fellow,
whose underwear was white and yellow,
And contained a huge set of goolies!
##-----------------------------------------------------##
Ennis really believed he was no queer,
But when he'd had too much beer,
And the night had grown cold,
he grew randy and bold,
and mounted young Jack like a Steer!
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