Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
A heartfelt thought
dly64:
--- Quote from: Samrim on June 28, 2006, 06:58:07 pm ---Hello everyone, While I agree that the boys relationship was very special indeed, as a gay man who has NEVER had a relationship (I'm much too old now anyway), I feel that the whole story is of regret and failure and loss. Not their fault, blame 'society', but all that love, just gone down the drain. I did it many years ago so I know what it's like
I seem to be in a rather bitter mood tonight, please forgive me, but all the palliative noises about them having FOUND each other, seems worth very little compared with their lives of regret and loss. Maybe they might have had happier, less dramatic lives, had they never met. I realize I'm playing Devil's Advocate here, what do you think. I love the boys to distraction, but pity then too. sam :(
--- End quote ---
Hi Sam - you make some very good points. A major theme of the story is regret, failure and loss. I am not convinced, however, that they would have lived happier lives (less dramatic, yes) if they wouldn't have met each other. It is a rarity to realize that someone understands you so completely and unconditionally. Is it worth all of that pain to experience that kind of love? IMO, yes.
As for you being too old to have a relationship ... never say never. I, too, have experienced a lot of pain. I have never been married, no kids. I have been in a relationship for 14 years (we are both single ... never married). He lives in SC, I live in IN. I can't shake him even though I should. It has only meant sorrow and grief. I could tolerate it a lot more if I knew he loved me with all of his being. But he doesn't. I have left my youth behind me ... he has robbed that to a degree (and yet I allowed him to do that). So, now it is focusing on moving forward and considering that there may be someone else out there for me. It is okay if there isn't ... I am happy being alone. I just want to open myself up to that possibility ... no matter how old I get.
ZouBEini:
I just re-read my post and hope it didn't sound "preachy" or anything. I didn't mean it that way.
Sam, you did make some excellent points and I failed to say so. My hubby of 5 years died 15 years ago and for me, it's definitely better to have loved and lost. I now feel as if I'm too old to have a new relationship but whatever happens happens.
I have an annoying habit of trying to cheer people up. My apologies if I offended you with my earlier post.
Sam and Dly, thank you for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences. I wish you both well. :)
~Larz
dly64:
--- Quote from: ZouBEini on June 28, 2006, 10:23:40 pm ---I just re-read my post and hope it didn't sound "preachy" or anything. I didn't mean it that way.
Sam, you did make some excellent points and I failed to say so. My hubby of 5 years died 15 years ago and for me, it's definitely better to have loved and lost. I now feel as if I'm too old to have a new relationship but whatever happens happens.
I have an annoying habit of trying to cheer people up. My apologies if I offended you with my earlier post.
Sam and Dly, thank you for sharing your thoughts and personal experiences. I wish you both well. :)
~Larz
--- End quote ---
I can't speak for Sam, but I certainly did not see your comment as preachy at all.
How difficult it must have been to love and lose someone. But as I said to Sam, I don't think you can ever be too old. I know a couple who got married when they were 83 and 85 respectively. Maybe I have some hope!! ::)
ZouBEini:
Thank you, Dly. ;D
I agree - we're never too old to love someone and we are all loveable in our own unique way. Your position must be very difficult also. I believe there is always hope if we take a chance and if we notice and appreciate the people around us. I wish you all the best.
~Larz
RouxB:
One of the desires I brought back from my first viewing was a relationship and "true" as theirs. While the "waste" haunts me, the love motivates me. I have been in a very long going nowhere relationship and, while it has had many moments of pain and unfulfillment, I sure would not have traded it for anything. Well, maybe I wouldn't have hung on for quite so long...
O0
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version