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When is it too early to put up your Christmas tree?
Artiste:
Usually, persons decorate trees after Thanksgiving, but this year stores had them up even before Thanskgiving or was or many before Holloween ?? Why?
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: Ellemeno on November 27, 2008, 03:52:43 am ---one friend, who is Jewish said, "My daughter really wants us to have a Christmas tree, and is annoyed that her father and I won't do it. I wish we could go to someone's house and help them decorate their tree, and satisfy her that way."
--- End quote ---
Not to be annoyingly negative but, while this does sound fun, isn't it possible that it would only make the daughter feel worse? She'll be hanging ornaments on someone ELSE'S tree, rather than her own. And then when she returns to her own treeless living room, she won't be able to admire it.
Maybe it depends on the personality of the actual girl. But I know my when sons were young, they really really wanted a video game system. In one of my few feeble attempts to follow the good-mom rules, I held out against it. But when they visited other people, such as my friend's son Kevin, they played with those kids' video games. Finally my older son said he didn't even want to go see Kevin anymore because it just reminded him that WE didn't have video games.
Eventually, of course, I caved. I decided that the elephant in the room of no video games had become a bigger obsession than the actual video games would be. The psychology worked perfectly on my older son. He plays a little now and then, but isn't particularly interested.
My younger son, unfortunately, is addicted to the point that I wish we'd never gotten involved in the whole mishigas.
Ellemeno:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on November 27, 2008, 11:20:26 am ---Not to be annoyingly negative but, while this does sound fun, isn't it possible that it would only make the daughter feel worse? She'll be hanging ornaments on someone ELSE'S tree, rather than her own. And then when she returns to her own treeless living room, she won't be able to admire it.
Maybe it depends on the personality of the actual girl. But I know my when sons were young, they really really wanted a video game system. In one of my few feeble attempts to follow the good-mom rules, I held out against it. But when they visited other people, such as my friend's son Kevin, they played with those kids' video games. Finally my older son said he didn't even want to go see Kevin anymore because it just reminded him that WE didn't have video games.
Eventually, of course, I caved. I decided that the elephant in the room of no video games had become a bigger obsession than the actual video games would be. The psychology worked perfectly on my older son. He plays a little now and then, but isn't particularly interested.
My younger son, unfortunately, is addicted to the point that I wish we'd never gotten involved in the whole mishigas.
--- End quote ---
Maybe it will just take him longer to burn out on it?
Or maybe he will be the one to make a fortune in something related to his passion for it.
And K and Chrissi, thanks for reminding me of the kind of mom I don't want to be - avoiding doing stuff because it's too much bother. The truth is I often can enjoy stuff vicariously now. Like I bought this big glossy coffee table book of photographs of Provence recently, and have been savoring it. It occurred to me that I'm actually probably enjoying this enough, and my yers of yearning to go to Provence have started to diminish. The dream and the reading about it feel like enough right now. I used to be a big traveler. Where was I with all this? Oh yeah - even though I can read "The Night Before Christmas," make a box mix of gingerbread, and listen to MP3s of Christmas carols for a total of 4.2 hours this month, and call that good enough, I need to do more for my kid's childhood memories.
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: Ellemeno on November 28, 2008, 04:31:29 am ---Or maybe he will be the one to make a fortune in something related to his passion for it.
--- End quote ---
That's what he's hoping. He aspires to become a professional video game tester. I warned him that's probably a pretty crowded field.
--- Quote ---even though I can read "The Night Before Christmas," make a box mix of gingerbread, and listen to MP3s of Christmas carols for a total of 4.2 hours this month, and call that good enough, I need to do more for my kid's childhood memories.
--- End quote ---
I think the biggest challenge of motherhood, especially with young children, is figuring out what's "good enough."
Penthesilea:
--- Quote from: Ellemeno on November 28, 2008, 04:31:29 am ---
And K and Chrissi, thanks for reminding me of the kind of mom I don't want to be - avoiding doing stuff because it's too much bother.
--- End quote ---
Sometimes we all avoid stuff because it's too much bother. Be it for our kids or for ourselves.
And you don't succeed or fail in being a good mother because of a Christmas tree. Or because of that one trip to a theme park you didn't take. Or because of the one or other hour you parked your kids in front of the TV to have some peace and quiet.
It's the overall attitude you show your kids. Don't be too hard on yourself.
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