Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
<-- Introduce Yourself -->
ekeby:
--- Quote from: Bucky on July 29, 2006, 04:12:12 pm ---Now he acts like we are long lost best friends or I am a "Dear Abby" or something to that effect. I do hope he finds the true love that he claimed he found with me twenty two years ago with the guy he is seeing now but I am not going to be a party to helping him find his love
--- End quote ---
Your post is so illuminating . . . I often wondered what contact with "my Ennis" would be like now. Perhaps it is better not to have the veil lifted. Or is it? I guess you would know. Are you better off for knowing him now? I hope he at least apologized for the way he left you. It's a lot to ask for you to become his friend. I'm not sure I could, if I were in your shoes. . . .
JT:
I think you both are very strong. Welcome to Bettermost by the way. I'm glad you've moved on with your lives. I would be devastated to be in your shoes.
Samrim:
Very true, but, ekeby and Bucky, I still love and ache for a straight guy I fell heavily in love before I knew it. He told me he'd rather take a gun and shoot himself than be touched by a queer; which was one hell of a 'put down'. Later he was very kind, or at least as kind as that impossible situation allowed. He is called Robert, and was fresh out of university too and was very fine. I've had to bear it, get on with my life, make the best of things, which I have, but I've never forgotten, a long lifetime later, and never stopped hoping that one day I'll see him again. I last heard that he live'd in Gloucester, UK, but I've never tried to make contact.
you two guys at least HAD a relationship to remember with love. I know it sounds twee, but I do think you are lucky, and that you spoil the love you felt, by giving way to bitterness. For all the pain, I've never tried to 'get my own back' on Rob. You might say with justification, that you aren't bitter, but it does rather seem so. Best Wishes, Sam :)
ekeby:
--- Quote from: Samrim on July 31, 2006, 07:31:55 pm ---Very true, but, ekeby and Bucky, I still love and ache for a straight guy I fell heavily in love before I knew it.
a long lifetime later, and never stopped hoping that one day I'll see him again. I last heard that he live'd in Gloucester, UK, but I've never tried to make contact.
you two guys at least HAD a relationship to remember with love. I know it sounds twee, but I do think you are lucky, and that you spoil the love you felt, by giving way to bitterness. For all the pain, I've never tried to 'get my own back' on Rob. You might say with justification, that you aren't bitter, but it does rather seem so. Best Wishes, Sam :)
--- End quote ---
Hi Sam . . . I think falling for a straight guy would be a terrible cross to bear. We can't choose who we fall in love with, but in these days I think it must be a little easier to distinguish straight and gay for younger people, and to avoid considering straight people as an object of love. When we were young, everyone was closeted and it was harder to tell. I think sometimes straight guys like the attention, and, at some level, subconsciously encourage it. I had a straight friend like that in the 70s. He was completely comfortable around gay guys, even envious of how casual gay sex could be, but he was completely and utterly straight. It was frustrating because we were great together. Quelle drag, as another friend used to say....
I wouldn't want you to think I'm bitter--far from it. I realize that I'm lucky to have had what I did. I loved him enough that I never wished him ill, only good. It IS better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. I feel sorry for people who have never experienced love. These are the people who do not "get" BBM. I have to say, it was BBM that dredged all this up for me. What happened when I was 19 has been like a distant echo up till now . . . with BBM it got louder and closer and impossible to ignore. So grateful for this board and hearing my experience wasn't unique . . . .
Samrim:
Hi there ekeby, Thank you so much for your measured response to my comment. I wrote it last night when I came in from my couplea pints, and feared that I'd over reacted. Still, what I do love about about these Bettermost Boards is that they're like a psychiatrist's couch, where we can all 'let it hang out', and talk things through.
:)
It comforts me a lot, that I'm not the only older person deeply affected by ole Brokeback. I did feel initially so stupid given my age to be crying like a teenager after their first failed date, but we know why don't we; Ang Lee is a magician! What you say is quite right, Brokeback Mountain has dredged up all that old angst!
One thought you mention is
<<but in these days I think it must be a little easier to distinguish straight and gay for younger people, and to avoid considering straight people as an object of love.>>
I didn't know I was developing this feeling for Rob, I certainly had no opportunity to consider <<whether he was an object for love>> like chosing from options at the shopping mall , I really was that much ignorant, or isolated or naive, whatever. We had some weeks in each other's company, and the deed was done, then he took up with a girl!
Must get goin'
Best Wishes
Sam ;D
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version