Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
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David:
Welcome Jerico!
You are in good company. We have all been there, done that. There is a lot to see and read here at BetterMost. Take your cowboy boots off and relax. You wont find L.D.Newsome here and Joe Aguirre only peeks in from time to time to make sure none of the sheep are missing.
David
Andrew:
Jerico,
Every time I hear of another pair of men in a situation sort of like yours, I am amazed at just how common it is, among younger men as well as older. And am amazed yet again at how true to life the film is, and at how rare that feeling of reality is in film.
Your story does make me curious about some things you don't go into - like whether your relationship is complicated by a current marriage on either side. And how physical he has been willing to get. A person can deny anything, but it makes a difference whether the thing between you has been made obvoous to you both and is only being kept from others, or whether he can deny both the physical and the emotional part of his attraction to you because certain things haven't been allowed to happen yet.
It always seems as if the first crack in the self-image of a man who considers himself heterosexual comes when he has taken sexual action with a man and has to face the intensity of the feelings that released in him. And of course it is much harder to deny those when it is a very good friend, than when it is a man whose name you don't know and who you never see again.
But to a person with a different makeup, it could happen first with this film (I can't say, a film like this one since there IS no other film like this one). As it did with you. Seeing yourself, with that horrible shock of recognition, up on the screen, forced to wonder if you would some day relive those exact moments, say those very words.
For reference, I'm a man who has had many years to get used to the idea that I love a man, have fulfilled myself to the utmost with my love for this man, would have led a narrow shadow life if I had never wrestled with myself. And always been grateful that it was this particular individual I had the incredible good fortune to cross paths with, not one of the hundreds of others I would undoubtedly have felt physical attraction to.
But my first love was pretty miserable -- an infatuation with a man who was dropping hints that he was starting to realize he was gay, but who also gave no indication of having anything like the feeling I had for him, while I at the same time was in a violent battle - to the death! - with the idea that I could even be feeling love for another man.
It was truly a death battle between us, but luckily it was the old self-image that died, not me.
Hope you hang around here and continue to fill us in on how it's going with you, Jerico. You won't find a more sympathetic crowd anywhere, either for what you are going through or for what a great piece of film art Brokeback Mountain is.
Andrew
CarlaMom2:
I just found this site a few days ago. I LOVE it. I loved the movie and you all are special people!
Front-Ranger:
Welcome, Carlamom2! Stay and talk awhile! You'll have a cup of coffee, won't you? Piece of cherry cake?
Sheriff Roland:
--- Quote from: CarlaMom2 on December 03, 2006, 11:39:17 am ---I just found this site a few days ago. I LOVE it. I loved the movie and you all are special people!
--- End quote ---
Well let me be the first one ta welcome ya ta our little cyber-town
We're a rather friendly bunch an if ya got any questions about how ta get around, or where ya might find subjects of interest ta ya, feel free ta ask me or any of the moderators. Ya can find a moderator at the bottom a the home page in the "users online" sections; the mods are in red. Just click on a name there & scroll down ta send 'em a personal message. Chances are, within minutes, you'll get an answer.
In the mean time "You'll have a cup a coffee? Piece a cherry cake?"
Sheriff Roland
edit note: darn it, I never get ta be the first ta welcome folks - takin too long ta write these messages & correctin 'em
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