Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
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ednbarby:
Welcome, whathappened2me. I saw your Member Name above on the "Latest Member" line and thought you must be either: A.) Someone who was here long ago and disappeared for a while and is now back with a new name, or B.) Someone new to the Brokeback phenomenon, as you so aptly put it, who is still immersed in the early stages of grief.
Like Scott said, I envy and don't envy where you are right now. It was such a sweet pain. Exquisite, even. And just like it always does, only time has healed the wound first seeing it (and seeing it that pivotal second time, and reading the short story the first time, and reading the short story again...) gave me. I'll always have the scar, though. But I'll tell you what, (as dear Jack would say) - I wouldn't trade all the tears and heart-wrenching and multiple breakthroughs I've had with my longtime husband (and those came at quite a high psychic cost) for never having seen this beautiful, perfect film and reading this beautiful, perfect story. No way.
Feel free to share all you're experiencing now with no worries of any of us rolling our eyes at you, so to speak, for being a "newbie" and/or reiterating things that have been said many times before. We all welcome new voices at all times because we've all been there and remember the sweet, exquisite pain well and because "new" folks always add insight even those of us who've seen the movie more times than most people care to count haven't had.
So don't be shy! Post away! Let it all out. Most (if not all) of us couldn't have made it through those early days with our sanity intact if it were not for this place and each other. We can all well relate to not being able to share what this movie has done to us with anyone in our private, non-cyber-based lives.
Garry_LH:
Welcome whathappened2m
You are far from being alone here... Even today, over a year after first reading the story and seeing the movie, there are moments when something will echo with me from the story of Jack and Ennis. From my own heart, I will say this is one of those stories sent by Spirit to touch, and perhaps help heal, those whose lives it was meant to touch. Not everyone 'gets it', not everyone was meant too. For us older folks, it is a painful reminder of just how real the lives of gay folks are echoed in this story from that time. Then I think above all, it is a story that yells at us to not just live through life, but to grab on to it, and make it our own. No matter what we have to do to get to that place, that Creation meant us to get to in the first place, this story calls to us not to give in, or to give up on ourselves, our dreams, or that love. It calls to look back before we started telling ourselves all the stories about why we just couldn't live our lives as our bliss called us to be... It's hard for those of us that were touched so powerfully by the lives of two men that never existed. And in being so touched, it demanded of me to examine my own existence in a way I probably never would have otherwise. It has been some powerful medicine for me. Painfully so at times, and Blessedly wonderful at others. May this journey you have come to bless your life as powerfully as it has mine and so many others here at BetterMost, and around the entire Earth.
ednbarby:
Well said, Garry. I do believe, too, that those of us who 'get it' do so because, as another very wise man among us once said, we get out of it what we bring into it. I needed to be healed, and it was (at long last) there to heal me. Thank God.
It's become my religion where I had none before. I actually finally understand why religious people look at me so pityingly when I say "I don't belong to any church." I'm sure I must look the same way at people who say, "Yeah, I saw 'Brokeback Mountain.' And it was well-written and well-shot and well-acted, but it just didn't move me like it did you."
Their loss. Entirely.
Brokeback_Dev:
Welcome to Bettermost whathappened2me. We've all been there, feeling the sorrow and hope and devastation, so just know you are not alone.
whathappened2me:
Hi and thank you guys (sfericsf, Scott, Davie, ednbarby and Gary) for your BEAUTIFUL and INSPIRATIONAL words !! I know it's been a while for you guys but for me it was my first acknowledgement that this is all real. It felt really WONDERFUL! It was so EXHILARATIING/ SCARY/EXCITING to hear for you. THANKS
I wanted to share a little more background (probably for me) that the morning after I put my 3 girls to bed turned on HBO and randomly watched BrokeBack I woke up a changed person. I searched for it again in secret and watched it again to make sure. To make sure of what, I didn't know. What I am sure of is that the tears were from a person who literally woke up. Woke up feeling things differently and allowing herself to feel much more especially when it come to LOVE and LIFE. How THIS movie did this I don't even need to know anymore. Why I couldn't find one other person who remotely felt (no words to describe) well...now I do.
Just for my own fun (I know you guys have heard it ALL) Jack's face after Ennis walks away after that kiss/nuzzle/nuzzle is always in my mind among other scenes. It make me scream. I've also realized that it's all about Jack Twist for me and not Jake Gyllenhaal (as I might originally thought) Although he unbelievably created Jack for us, my revelation after seeing Jake as Jake is that it's strictly about Jack and his beauty and soul, eyes, voice, expressions, I could go on...And Ennis of course broke my heart into a million pieces. I hope most of this makes sense ! Thanks so much....I've never done this before. It feels really great though...
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