Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
<-- Introduce Yourself -->
BelAir:
hi optom,
just wanted to say hello, and thank you for sharing your story.
there is much to be said and considered... my 'story' is similar to yours only in that I, too, sometimes worry about regrets and what I have thrown away. there is a lot on the forums to explore in terms of how to try to make our lives better (and, subsequently, the lives of those around us). it sounds like you are new to "what brokeback means to me", having only seen the film recently. I first saw it almost two years ago, and it is an ongoing journey, figuring out "what brokeback means to me."
I hope you will stay here at bettermost, and perhaps find some pain relief while you are here...
Bel
optom3:
--- Quote from: BelAir on February 16, 2008, 09:20:43 pm ---hi optom,
just wanted to say hello, and thank you for sharing your story.
there is much to be said and considered... my 'story' is similar to yours only in that I, too, sometimes worry about regrets and what I have thrown away. there is a lot on the forums to explore in terms of how to try to make our lives better (and, subsequently, the lives of those around us). it sounds like you are new to "what brokeback means to me", having only seen the film recently. I first saw it almost two years ago, and it is an ongoing journey, figuring out "what brokeback means to me."
I hope you will stay here at bettermost, and perhaps find some pain relief while you are here...
Bel
--- End quote ---
Hi yes I am new to this site.but what a lifeline it has proved to be.I could never have imagined such kindness from total strangers.It is also at least in some small way cathartic to voice thoughts that owing to the nature of my story,have untill now remained buried deep.I think that the film disturbed me so badly because 15 years is a long time to harbor those feelings.Also the parallels in the film and indeed book refect so much of my life it is hard to bear at times.I wanted to jump into the screen and shout at Ennis to grab wht he had before it passed him by.Or was I really shouting at myself? who knows.
I know my 1st husband was much braver than me,he made the decision to stop living a lie and has been with his partner for 20 plus years now.Who just happens to be a lovely man too.In the process his mother disowned him and still does to this day,but his father embraced the situation 100%.An irony that as a mother I find strange indeed.
I hope one day to finally come to a place where I find some solace ,knowing that at least I have truly loved and been loved.I try each day to see what happened in those terms but right at this moment with little success,I almost wish I had not watched the film,but then at some stage we have to confront our demons I guess.As it is I have become like some obsessive,waiting till I am on my own and then watching and rewatching it.If I am not watching the film then I am reading the book or screenplay.Does everyone act like this initially?
It is almost as if I watch it enough times it may end differently.How ridiculous is that.Or is it because I am yearning for a different end to my own experience.One thing for sure it has left an indelible mark on me,just as surely as if I had been branded.It strikes me as one of lifes many travesties that the Oscars chose to pass over the acting of Heath and Jake.I can only assume this stemmed from some misplaced moral judgement.
Meryl:
Optom, thanks so much for sharing your story so openly. You certainly have had a dramatic reaction to BBM, but you aren't alone in that. The beauty of the film is that everyone in it is so honest with the characters and story that it's impossible to see it without some sort of emotional catharsis. For some it's mild, for others, life-changing. I'm so glad you were led here to BetterMost. It seems to me that your healing has already begun.
As you explore the site, be sure to check out Our Daily Thoughts and Safe Haven where people tell their own stories, as well as the Open Forum, where we discuss all sorts of topics having to do with the film. Also feel free to start your own blog if you'd like. Again, welcome! :)
Sheriff Roland:
WOW!
I'm just flattened.
It's been a long time since I've bothered to welcome a new member on this thread, though I often read it. Your story, optom3 is huge. As Meryl said, everyone (Brokies) has been affected strongly by the movie - that's what brought us here, and for some, brought us to view (and analyse every tiny piece of) the movie many times. For me it was about 10 times in the theatres - and I haven't seen any other movie at the theatre in the past 20 months. Musta watched it 100 times by now (and read the short story and additional 20 times).
Here's hoping that you'll find solace in here, as you are among folks who should be able tounderstand what you're talking about.
Welcome home optom3.
Kelda:
wow, thats some story - cant really saya anything more than whats already been said. welcome again.
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