Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > The Lighter Side
Have you heard a good one lately?
Katie77:
I received this email today, and had to share it with you all....
He Thought He was a Cowboy....
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink.
As he sait sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked "Are you a real cowboy?".
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixiing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down ont eh other side of the old cowboy and asked,
"Are you a real cowboy?"....
He replied, "I always thought I was, but i just found out I'm a lesbian".
Sheriff Roland:
This sounds like a good place to share humourous anecdotes, or just plain old jokes.
Got a funny you wanna share? Bring it on! We're big boys and girls - we can take it!
And it don't even have to be cowboy or gay related!
Go on make me laugh - if you can ...
Katie77:
OK....heres another one.....
Six presidents were on a sinking boat........
Ford says, "What do we do?"
Bush says, "Man the lifeboats"
Reagan says, "What lifeboats?"
Carter says, "Women first"
Nixon says, "Screw the women"
Clinton says, "You think we have time?"
Katie77:
OK....heres another one.....
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday....
They arrive at the club, and the doorman says, "Hey Dave!..How ya doing?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"OH NO", says Dave. "He's on my bowling team".
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How come she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey, We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi, Davey, Want our usual table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out ot the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave".
BB Stacker:
THE PURINA DIET
I have a Golden Retriever and was in the check-out line at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog food. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no. I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because the last time I ended up in the in the intensive care ward at the hospital with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel a little bit hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here, that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly the guy who was waiting in line behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no . . . it was because I'd been sitting in middle of the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.
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